Recently, as part of a writing challenge, I had to pick words that I like the sound of. ( For the curious among you, I picked ocean, beach and sunset then tagged on my favourite 4-letter words book, wine, sale and tour.)
A few days later, I saw the above poem on Facebook, and it brought me up short.
There are words in this world that I really don’t like the sound of and one of them is in the poem. That word is “beast”.
Rewind more than forty years back to my primary school and early high school days and “Beast” was the cruel nickname that the class bullies gave me. I have no idea what prompted them to choose that word. I had thought on reflection that it might have been linked to Iron Maiden’s The Number of the Beast, but the dates don’t quite tie in. It wasn’t released until 1982, two years after the bullying started but three years before it finally ended.
The word reminds me of being physically assaulted in the playground as my classmates would grab me by the hair and pull my ponytail up to see if I had 666 written on the back of my neck. Even all these years later, I still struggle with those memories. They are vivid and hearing or reading that word instantly brings them to life.
Words are powerful things…as are memories.
Fast forward again to the present day and to the poem.
It struck a chord as it reflects how I have been feeling since the Big Green Gummi Bear’s death. The “darkness” of the past three years and the “shadows” of many years prior to that shattered the person I was. I don’t believe you can watch someone die without it changing you. The journey didn’t quite break me…it came pretty close on many occasions.
As a family, I’ll not lie or play it down, we’ve been through Hell but that’s a tale for another time.
The poem reminded me that those cracks may have left me a bit of a mosaic of the person I was and the person I now am but more importantly, it reminded me that I am moving forward as a stronger person…a beast?
The word still doesn’t sit well with me but perhaps I can now see it in a more positive light and that in itself is an example of personal strength.
Use your words wisely.
Credits to the owner of the image sourced via Facebook
Coral McCallum 