Several Pairs of Feet and a Lot of Brown Hens….

Over thirty-five years ago I read a book by Barbara Erskine called Lady of Hay. I still have that copy of it. That book sparked a lifelong interest in regression and past lives.

Is this really our first life? Is it our only life? What about all those déjà vu moments? Were there other lives?

At the time, in the late 1980’s, I remember telling my mum that I would love to be regressed but that was pre-internet, and it was difficult to track down a therapist via the Yellow Pages. Plus, would I really trust a total stranger to do that kind of therapy with me even if I did fine one?

The thought floated through many times over the years, but I never acted on it until now.

If you are a total cynic about past lives, re-incarnation and the like, you might want to stop reading here and come back next week.

Still with me?….

A couple of weeks ago while I was scrolling through Facebook, I spotted a post from a friend celebrating her success with two recent training courses. There was a lovely smiling photo of her with her two certificates. Two words on once of the certificates caught my eye. I zoomed in – past lives.

Ok so now you see where this is going….

After a quick telephone chat with the lovely lady herself, I made an appointment for a past lives’ hypnotherapy session.

If you Google past life regression therapy or past lives’ hypnotherapy you get an AI overview that explains “it’s a hypnotherapy technique that guides a person to access supposed memories of past lives to resolve current issues.”

I wasn’t going into this with the naïve expectation of learning that I’d been a princess living a fairy tale life or been a famous author or anything overly specific. Ok I might have been curious to learn if I’d been tried and hanged as a witch. (None of my close friends would have been surprised if that was the case!)

I didn’t go into the session itself with any expectations. I went in with an open mind.

What followed was the most amazing and surprisingly relaxing ninety minutes or so.

It would be unfair of me to go into too many specifics of the session here. (It might also make for a boring read if I relived it chapter and verse here and now.) Instead, I’ll cover the salient points that I feel comfortable to share.

I’ve never experienced any form of hypnosis before and that was perhaps the part I was a little anxious about. I needn’t have worried. That part was incredibly pretty and relaxing and led to me visualising a dark night sky (although my night sky was a colour I refer to as Reiki purple.) criss-crossed with a web of silver silky cords.

In my mind’s eye, with the therapist’s gentle encouragement, I chose one to follow and picked it up. Over the course of the session, I was encouraged at points to let go of the cord and “drop into” that life, starting each time by looking at my feet.

I saw several pairs of feet. The first pair were crammed into shoes that were too tight. I could actually feel my feet being squashed even though in my current life they were encased in a comfortable pair of Converse. Next were bare feet belonging to a girl of about twelve or thirteen. Men’s brown leather lace up shoes followed then it was back to bare feet. These bare feet belonged to a little boy about eight years old and they were filthy! Emerald green silk shoes followed on, and the final pair of feet were in well-worn black leather shoes.

Each time I got a sense of the lifetime that those feet led rather than feeling that I was in that lifetime. In the brown leather lace up shoes’ life, I was in a printshop with a huge old-fashioned printing press surrounded by piles of paper. I could smell the ink.

The lifetime with the emerald green silk shoes was the one that made me feel uncomfortable. That woman had led a life dominated by a controlling husband and was sad and lonely.

The final pair of feet in the comfortable black leather shoes provided the most vivid images of the session. I was asked to describe what I could see at one point. My reply almost made the therapist giggle. “Chickens. Brown hens everywhere. I like the eggs, but the hens are a nuisance!”

In future blogs or short stories, I may reveal more details of the lives each of those pairs of feet led but for now it feels right to keep most of that private.

The session did give me an insight into where one fear I have may have come from. I don’t like the dark. I get quite scared if I have to walk into a dark room or an unlit hallway. I’m fine outdoors in the dark. It’s indoors darkness that scares me and I’ve never known why.  The little boy with the dirty bare feet shared the same fear.

Several of the pairs of feet lived in coastal areas so perhaps that explains my love of being near water and needing to see an expanse of water on a regular basis. I could never live inland.

The therapist had assured me before we said goodbye that I wouldn’t take any of these past lives with me when I left. The past stays in the past. But, as I drove home, I couldn’t shake the image of the cottage with all of those brown hens in front of it.

When I went to my refrigerator to get something out to cook for dinner, I went to pick up the packet of chicken breasts and paused… It ended up being pasta for dinner. I just couldn’t face potentially cooking one of those pesky brown hens!

If any local friends want to experience their own past lives’ hypnotherapy session please reach out to

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086909415191

(Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner – no watermark on image)

King Ragnar Lothbrok… and an unfortunate accident.

Many of you who follow this blog and those of you who know me personally know that I am an aspiring crazy cat lady. Various furry babies have spent their lives with me and currently I have two Maine Coon/Siberian crosses- King Ragnar Lothbrok and his younger brother Athelstan, affectionately known as the Kitty Kray twins.

Just over eight weeks ago, I came scarily close to losing Ragnar. I thought about writing about it when it happened, but the timing felt off so I decided to wait.

Friday 15th August started out like any other Friday around here. I’d fed my furry babies when I got up, unlocked the cat flap and let them out to play for the day without a second thought.

Shortly after 10am, my doorbell rang. It was a neighbour to tell me that her teenage son had “clipped” a cat on the hill that leads up to where I live and that she thought it was one of mine.

It was. It was Ragnar.

She drove me the half mile down to where her son and husband were standing guard over my terrified injured boy. Taking her at her word that the car had just clipped him, I initially assumed that his injuries were the facial ones that I could see. His mouth was bleeding and one eye was closing.

Ragnar’s not the biggest fan of strangers and he hates being in the car so when I was offered a lift home with him, having weighed up the risks, I politely declined saying that as long as he would let me pick him up that I would carry him home and take him to the vet.

Had I realised at that point how badly injured he actually was, I wouldn’t have lifted him and carried him any distance in my arms but adrenaline, fear, shock, anxiety were all playing their part and clouding my judgement.

My brave boy let me carry him – all 6.5kg of him – slowly and steadily up the hill. He was making horrible rasping growling noises. As I walked, I spoke softly to him, reassuring myself as much as him.

When I was almost at the top, another neighbour stopped in a car and offered to help. I explained what had happened, politely declined and kept walking.

By this point, as I held Ragnar in my arms, I had realised that something didn’t feel right with his back end, but I knew I had to get him home so slowly and steadily I kept going.

When I turned into our street, his patience ran out, and he launched a frenzied attack   clawing and biting down into my arm multiple times. Despite my own pain, I knew had to keep going but about 30m from the house, I gave in and gently sat him on the pavement, realising that it was too dangerous for both of us to keep going.

My poor boy was still terrified and obviously in agony, but he was now also uber aggressive. My heart was pounding. I was almost as terrified as the cat, but I knew that somehow, I had to pick him up and get him home.

The neighbour who had stopped a few moments before was still in the car in her driveway. I waved over and shouted to her for help, asking her to go into my house and grab a towel from the kitchen.

While she did that, I quickly messaged Boy Child, who was at the gym, explaining that Ragnar had been in an accident and was badly hurt and needed to get to the vet.

Once I got a towel round Ragnar, I felt brave enough to risk picking him up again. Never have I willingly approached such an aggressive cat to lift it into my arms but in my heart, I knew I had no other option. I had to get him home to get him proper help.

We made it!

I carried him straight through to the conservatory, sat him on the couch and closed the door to stop his furry brother from going near him. With my boy in as safe place, I paused to do three things – I phoned the vet to say we’d be there shortly, I cleaned the blood off my arm to assess the extent of the damage( It wasn’t pretty but wasn’t as bad as I’d feared) and I fetched the cat carrier down from the loft. In the midst of all of this Boy Child phoned for more details of what had happened and to say he was on his way.

When I went back into the conservatory, Ragnar’s condition had visibly deteriorated. Carefully, I lifted him into the box and put the top back on. Boy Child arrived a couple of minutes later and we headed straight to the vet’s, leaving Athelstan staring after us.

We were at our local vet’s about 45 minutes after I had been notified of Ragnar’s accident. I honestly don’t think we could have got there much quicker.

The vet immediately whisked Ragnar away, leaving us in the waiting room. I was still bleeding and had to ask the receptionist if she had any antiseptic wipes. A few minutes later, we were called through into one of the consulting rooms where the vet broke the new to us that my beautiful boy was in a bad way… a very bad way. I’d already told them that he was insured but she asked me to double check how much he was insured for which is never a good sign.

They had stabilised him and taken some x-rays which had revealed that his pelvis was fractured in five places and that his lower jaw was broken. The extent of his injuries meant that he needed urgent specialist care. I said to the vet to do whatever she needed to do to save my boy.

She came back a short while alter to say that the usual specialist team that they referred cases to wasn’t accepting any critical care patients and couldn’t take him.  Fearing the worst, I asked what that actually meant for Ragnar.

The vet was honest with us and explained that if she couldn’t find an alternative specialist then she would need to put him to sleep.

That almost broke me.

In the past two years we’ve lost three fur babies plus The Big Green Gummi Bear. There’s been far too much loss….

Boy Child and I waited largely in silence for what felt like an eternity.

I couldn’t lose my boy… I got Ragnar as a three-month-old kitten five days after The Big Green Gummi Bear passed away. A crazy time to bring a kitten into the house but Ragnar got me through many dark days, and I didn’t want to fail him when he needed me.

Eventually, the vet returned. She had found a specialist care facility who could take him if we could get him there by three o’clock. It was almost one o’clock and it would be a seventy-mile journey. Without hesitation I told her we’d take him wherever we needed to in order save his life.

A few minutes later, we were on our way. I sat in the back seat beside the cat carrier. My poor baby was spaced out on morphine, ketamine and Lord knows what else. Every now and then he would put his paw out through the grill at the front of the cat box as if to say, “Mummy, hold my hand, I’m scared.”

We reached the specialist vet’s around 2:45pm. Whew! We’d made it on time. Right from the off, we received world class care from the staff. A plan was agreed with the vet who admitted him to their ICU. It was agreed that they would fix his jaw fracture that day then monitor him in ICU over the weekend before operating on his smashed pelvis on the Monday. They assured us he would be kept pain free over the weekend and that I would be given regular updates.

Leaving him alone and broken with strangers was hard but I left reassured that he would get the best of care. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he was in the place that would give him the best chance of a good recovery.

It was a long weekend…

Monday was a long day. I spoke to vet who was going to operate first thing on Monday, and she explained the surgical plan for the day. She planned to put a screw in one side to pin the pelvis at that side to Ragnar’s sacrum. At the other side where the damage was worse, she proposed to plate and pin the top part of his pelvis but as the socket for his hip joint had been destroyed, she would also need to remove the  head of his femur to allow the leg to sit in the correct position and give him the best chance of good use of it. The vet estimated that it would take her five hours in theatre.

My boy is a warrior. He sailed through the surgery, thanks largely to skill of the veterinary team. The vet did apologise that they had had to shave quite a lot of his fur off and that once we got over the shock of seeing him, we would find his temporary look funny.

We collected him three days later and brought him home to begin his long road to recovery.  She wasn’t joking about Ragnar’s funky haircut! I was also amazed to discover he had striped skin!

He was to be on cage rest for at least eight weeks, when we would go back for his follow up appointment. Initially he came home with a feeding tube too as he wasn’t eating. I was shown how to tube feed him and care for the tube. It was removed by our local vet a week later- the first big step on his recovery journey.

Two weeks after that, he got the stitches removed- another big step forward. He’d lost over a kilo in weight since the accident and still wasn’t eating well so he was prescribed an appetite stimulant that I had to rub into his ear once a day for five days. It worked. We were back at the local vet for a weight check two weeks later and he’d put on 250g- another step forward.

Gradually as the days and weeks passed, Ragnar began to heal. He was allowed out of his “kitty jail” three or four times a day for ten minutes at a time under strict supervision- no jumping and no climbing.  Day by day we saw him slowly return to something closer to his usual wee self. The sparkle returned to his eyes.

Last week we took him back for his follow up appointment. He was to be sedated again to allow the vet to remove the temporary wire that had been fixating his jaw fracture and also to take a fresh set of x-rays. The good news when we collected him a few hours later was that everything is healing well. He was duly discharged from their care on the caveat that he be kept on partial cage rest for a further four weeks to allow the healing to continue and we were shown how to do some basic physio with him to help with the muscle wastage on the weaker side.

The worst is now behind him and it’s great to see him out of “kitty jail” during the day and sitting in his favourite spot again.

This whole experience has been life changing for not only Ragnar but for his younger brother, Athelstan and to a less extent Boy Child and me.  As a result of the extensive damage to the hip joint, Ragnas will need to be an indoor boy from now on. Since the day of the accident, his brother has been an indoor boy. I never want to go through another day like the day of the accident. Emotionally, I couldn’t cope with that again.

They are both young. Ragnar is just over two and his brother is eighteen months, so they’ll adjust to indoor living in time, I’m sure. The other local cats and wildlife will be breathing a sigh of relief.

The Big Green Gummi Bear was fond of saying “Actions have consequences” and that phrase has come to mind frequently over the past couple of months.

Yes, Ragnar is at fault as he ran out from the bushes into the road without doing his Green Cross Code and that has had life changing consequences for him.

Unlike dogs, cats have no legal rights so there are minimal consequences for any driver who is unfortunate enough to “clip” or hit a cat with their vehicle. That feels morally wrong to me.

So, if you’ve read this far, thank you for indulging me as I have gone on a bit. The moral of this story is that if your fur babies aren’t insured then you might want to reconsider this. Even if your fur babies are insured, you might want to double check the level of your cover. The vet bills for Ragnar’s care are in excess of £11 000. My pet insurance is a co-payment policy and that has covered 80% of the bill.

Ragnar will recover in time. He’s a warrior. He’s Viking!

Staircase (poem)

Darkness enveloped the staircase ahead of me

Shadows stirred in its inky depths

Slowly I began to climb

Trusting that it was the path I should take

Step by step I climbed

Slowly the darkness fell behind

Grey ghostly mists swirled around

I continued to climb

Trusting that it was the path I should take

Sunlight filtered through

Dispersing the mists

Warmth and hope surrounded me

I continue to climb

Trusting that I am following the path I should take.

(image sourced via Google- credit to the owner)

Where do I do it? … a question from an indie author

For the past seven years my cluttered creative corner of the house has been my beloved writing desk in the corner of the living room

Those who have followed this blog for a long time may remember that I blogged about moving from the kitchen into the living room when that change was forced upon me thanks to a new car and a repositioning of the freezer. (Eviction Notice Served …… | Coral McCallum –  in case you missed it)

Over the next two years, I grew to love my creative corner in the living room. The words flowed as freely as they had when my desk was the table in the corner of the kitchen.

Then Covid came along and with it that brought the necessity to work from home. At that point in time The Big Green Gummi Bear was also working from home and had based himself in the study so with no other choice, my creative space became my work space during the day and then returned to being my creative space a night. Like every other scenario we were faced with, I made it work as best as I could.

A few months later The Big Green Gummi Bear fell ill (terminal brain tumour) and for the next three years, I continued to work from home fulltime, working at my desk during the day then switching laptops at the end of the day to restore it as my creative space at night. The study became The Big Green Gummi Bear’s “bat cave” where he whiled away many hours with YouTube videos and films. I made it work as best as I could.

After The Big Green Gummi Bear passed away in late October 2023, when I was ready to return to work I had the choice of where to work when I was working from home. I could go into his “bat cave” or stay where I was in the corner of the living room. Emotionally I knew there was only one option I could cope with. For over nine months, I chose to stay in the living room. This worked for the day job, but it was no longer working for the me creatively in the evenings.

Let’s face it, by this time, I’d spent about sixteen hours a day most days for over four years in the living room. I was sick of the sight of it! It had begun to feel like a prison cell.

Creatively, the words refused to flow and that frustrated me…and scared me a little. Could I still do it?

About a year ago, I finally felt emotionally ready to claim the “bat cave” as my own and moved up there to work during the day. I’ll not lie it took a long while before I was comfortable being in that small room for more than a few minutes at a time.  Bereavement does strange things to a person.

My writing desk in the living room became my creative space once again…but the room still felt like a prison cell. The words began to flow a little more freely but overall, it still didn’t feel right.

I persevered then made a decision. It was time for another change.

A couple of weeks ago, I finally had the room re-painted. Gone were the candle soot-stained peach walls, replaced with a fresh clean silvery blue shade called Frost Fairy. New curtains were bought and hung. A new sound system was added as some of the speakers in the old one had long since given up the ghost. I de-cluttered the room. I tidied out my desk and de-cluttered the top if it, only retaining a few of the things that had previously sat there. I added a stunning new crystal sphere (poppy jasper and flower agate – just in case you were curious). Gone was the old uncomfortable chair. I replaced it with a nice new kneeling chair. I’ve always wanted one of those!

I’m viewing this as a much-needed creative re-boot.

The smell of paint still lingers in the air and perhaps it’s a little too soon to be sure, but I feel more confident now that the words that have been desperate to be set free will once again start to flow.

Time will tell….

How do I do it?…. a question from an indie author

The letters will fall into place to make words.

The words will group together to form sentences.

The sentences gather to form paragraphs.

The paragraphs will flourish and bloom into chapters.

Then the chapters will blossom into your book.

And it all began with a single letter…..

Why do I do it?… a question from an indie author

 Something I never take for granted and never will is the simple fact that people buy, download and read my books.

Now I appreciate that as a self-published author with eight books bearing my name that that might seem a crazy thing to say but let’s reflect on this for a moment.

Stop to think for a moment how many books are available via Amazon either as eBooks or as paperbacks. The last stats I could find are several years out of date and at that time there were circa 7.5M books available for Kindle.

So, in that huge ocean of words, how does anyone ever find mine?

That’s a question I don’t know the answer to.

I rarely share details of the royalties that I earn from my books because to be honest, most people don’t believe that it amounts to as little as it does.

So far September has been a good month.

What really excited me when I looked at the stats was that someone has purchased a paperback book from me. So much blood, sweat, tears and sweary words go into pulling those paperback editions together that to sell even one is a big deal to me.

And something even bigger is seeing people from around the world reading my books. I am a UK based author and to  see that my USA market is bigger than my UK one is mind blowing!

Seeing my eight books on Amazon with their twinkling stars fills me with pride. (And that’s something that has taken me a long time to admit out loud)

I may not be raking in millions and fighting off publishing contracts, but I have seen the dream not only come true but continue year after year. This is especially encouraging as I am only too aware that I haven’t published a new novel for a while.  For those who are impatiently waiting on Book Baby 9, it is coming. More on that soon.

For now, though I want to pause and take a moment to reflect on what I have achieved. Sometimes its not about looking ahead to see how far you’ve got to go but about pausing to look back at how far you’ve come.

Thank you for sharing the journey with me.

And if you’ve yet to find my books among the millions on Amazon, allow me to help you.

Silver Lake series

Amazon.com links –

Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VXDSC1M

Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C0GS30K

Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XSQHG71

Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM

Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RR1FGLG

Amazon.co.uk links  –

Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00VXDSC1M

Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01C0GS30K

Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06XSQHG71

Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM

Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08RR1FGLG

Riley

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9SWP6K3

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0B9SWP6K3

Ellen

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07FYHKR44

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07FYHKR44

Beginnings

Beginnings – a collection of poems – Kindle edition by McCallum, Coral. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com.

Beginnings – a collection of poems eBook : McCallum, Coral: Amazon.co.uk: Kindle Store

The Measly Jar of Motivation – Rosebud Sweets

As soon as I pulled this prompt from the Measly Jar of Motivation, I smiled as a childhood image came flooding back – rosebud sweets!

I haven’t tasted on of those sweets in almost forty years! (Lord, that makes me sound SO old! LOL)

When I was a wee girl, before I was old enough for school and then during the school holidays, I would go to the local post office on a Tuesday with my Wee Gran to collect her pension. The postmaster, Mr Stirling was a character. He was a lovely old man who always had time for a blether and a joke with his customers but equally important, he kept a dish of sweets beside him to give to the children who came into the post office.

The dish was actually the plastic lid off one of the big jars of traditional “old fashioned” sweets that shops used have lined up on shelves behind the counter.

Usually there was a lengthy queue in the post office on pension day. I would stand patiently with my gran as we edged closer to the counter. There were always two people serving – Mr Stirling and a lady called Agnes. She too had a dish of sweets beside her, but she didn’t always offer you one. I don’t think she liked children that much and to be honest, I was a little scared of her.

If Mr Stirling served my gran, before he’d stamp her pension book and count out the cash, he would offer me the dish and say to take a sweetie. Sometimes, when he was passing the pension book and pension back across the counter, he would say to take a second sweet.

Those small pink rose scented fondant sweets were delicious. To this day they are one of the scents and tastes of childhood.

A few years later, Mr Stirling retired, and another postmaster took over. The first time after that when I accompanied my gran to the post office, I was a little bit anxious. Would this new man know that he was supposed to give the children a sweet? Would he think I was too old to get a sweetie?

I needn’t have worried. The dish of rosebud sweets was still there.

Years went by and I grew up and became a teenager, while my wee gran simply grew older. Occasionally when I was in my late teens, I would be trusted to go and collect her pension for her. As I stood in the queue feeling both grown up at being trusted with such an important errand and about sixty or seventy years too young to be in the queue, another thought entered my mind. Was I now too old to be offered a rosebud sweet?

It turns out I wasn’t. I guess you’re never too old to enjoy a rosebud sweet.

Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner (no watermark)

Horizontal (poem)

Gridlines set

Yellow indicator line there

Sunrise approaches

Yellow indicator lined up

Sunrise colours captured

Photos still not horizontal!

Focusing the mind’s eye

On the curvature of the horizon….

Longhand vs typed

Which is better for your creativity – writing longhand or typing on a computer?

I’ve long been an advocate for writing everything longhand (including the first draft of this blog), largely because I can write faster than I can type. Seven novels in and my typing sucks!

Recently, I’ve been doing an online course (more on that another time) and the topic came up in one of the lessons. University studies have shown that expressive or creative writing done by hand uses more parts of the brain than typing on a computer. FACT!

This same lesson also confirmed another point that I have taken some stick about over the years. The notebook that you choose matters as does the pen or pencil. I’ve been arguing this point for years.

Again, studies have proven that if the person is attracted to a particular notebook, then they are more likely to write freely in it. Still not sure where the ones that are “too good to use” fit into that equation. If someone has also found a pen or a pencil that they are drawn to then you have the perfect recipe for creativity and expression.

I’ve been laughed at before for admitting to changing pens to overcome writer’s block. More than once I’ve declared that I’ve stuck with a certain pen because the words flow freely from it.

I’m not the only author to prefer handwriting their work. Not for a second do I claim to be in the same league, but George RR Martin of Game of Thrones fame hand writes his novels. The first Harry Potter book was famously handwritten partly in a café in Edinburgh by JK Rowling. Stephen King also hand writes his stories and commented in an interview once that handwriting his books “brought the act of writing back to this very basic level where you actually have to take something in your fist and make letters on the page.”

That’s something that I have marvelled at many a time when I look at my own books. These real books were conceived in my mind and brought to life in A4 notebooks written in a variety of colours. (I prefer pink or turquoise and especially purple.)

Now, I appreciate that this is the 21st Century and technology runs the world and that some people hate to handwrite anything but the next time you fee; the urge to write a poem or tell a story or journal your thoughts, try writing the old-fashioned way and see where those thoughts take you to.

Grown (poem)

Tiny fingers and tiny toes

It doesn’t seem so long ago….

Now I look at you and smile

Proud of how you’ve grown

But in my heart, you still have

Those tiny fingers and tiny toes

(Image sourced via Google – credits to the owner)