Tag Archives: #mentalhealthawareness

Have you ever felt drawn to journaling and not known how to?

Have you ever kept a journal? I have- many of them! (some of them are in the photo)

By journal, I’m not meaning a diary where you record what you did each day. (I’ve kept one of them for 40 some years.) What I’m meaning is a journal or notebook for your eyes only where you have poured your heart out onto the page or vented your frustrations.

Did you know that therapeutic journalling has been proven to help people who have suffered trauma and loss as well as those who suffer from chronic illnesses?

In the 1980’s James Pennebaker, a US social psychologist, was one of the first to study the therapeutic benefits of writing in a journal. His study found that journalling was beneficial both emotionally and physically. Journalling especially if the person has written about a stressful event or situation has been proven to support the body’s immune system.

There’s no right or wrong way to journal. It is YOUR journal for YOUR eyes only so of course you are at liberty to write in any way you feel drawn to. You don’t even have to write in full sentences and no one is going to correct either your spelling or your grammar. It is your space to write how you feel you need to but for those who have never tried to journal or who have tried and not had much success with it, I’m going to share a few suggested techniques.

One of the simplest ways to journal is use Lists to help acknowledge and address your fears or feeling or emotions. Have you ever jotted down a list of pros and cons? That’s journalling. This technique can be useful as it helps you to “join the dots” (think on feelings or emotions as the dots) and can help you to gain clarity around the situation.

It might be that you need to “speak” to someone to explain how you really feel about a situation but face-to-face you can never find the right words or the right moment. If you find yourself in this situation, you could write an “unsent letter.” This technique is also powerful for those who have suffered a loss and are grieving. Use your journal to write openly and honestly to the person on your mind and allow yourself to “speak” freely with out the fear of offending them or suffering any repercussions. It is a liberating experience! Trust me, I’ve written several “unsent letters,” especially over the last couple of years.

You can also journal about specific events that might either be the best or worst moments of your life. By writing about it, telling its story, it could offer you a different perspective on things so that, especially if it is a negative memory that you are reliving in your journal, that it becomes a chapter in the story of your life rather than the controlling narrative.

One of my personal favourite techniques is gratitude journalling. This is one that I practice at the end of every day before I head upstairs to bed. It’s a simple technique. You can buy specific gratitude journals but any notebook will do. For my daily practice, I write one sentence about three or four small moments from the day that I am grateful for. It could be something small like hearing your favourite song on the radio or on your playlist or the taste of your first cup of coffee of the day. Simple moments that made you smile. I also note down three or four things that I am looking forward to. Again, don’t over think it and keep it simple. These techniques only take a few minutes and can help you to find a few moments of light even on the darkest of days.

So, the next time a notebook catches your eye online or on a shelf in a shop, buy it.

If a novelty pen or sparkly pen, catches your eye and makes you smile, buy it. The combine the two with words from your heart.

You’ll feel the better of it.

The Measly Jar of Motivation – how would you take special care of yourself for a day?

And that really is a challenge!

Anyone who knows me personally would most likely tell you that I’m historically not the best at taking “special care” of myself. I am passionate about wellbeing and for the past couple of years have been focused on making sure that my “personal battery” is well cared for and kept charged. Well, I’m trying to focus on that.

Throughout the majority of The Big Green Gummi Bear’s terminal illness, I was running on fumes. It’s only now, when I reflect back, that I can acknowledge that I burned out towards the end of 2021 and then kept going for two more years. Life really didn’t leave me any other choice.

That level of burn out (emotional and physical) takes time to recover from and it’s something that on many levels, I am still healing from.

So, if I had my ideal day to take “special care” of myself, how would I spend it?

There’s an obvious answer – I’d click my flip flops together three times and transport myself to the beach at my happy place.

I’ll resist choosing that option and instead describe a day spent at home.

Let’s imagine that it’s Monday and I have a “rest day” off work and the whole day to do as I want.

My day would start off gently with some yoga, most likely Yin Yoga as I would have the luxury of more time than I do most mornings, followed by a short chakra meditation combined with some crystals and some self-channelled Reiki energy. When I have finished my yoga and meditation, I would journal about the session and set an intention for the day. This is something I do every day, recording it in my gratitude journal. The intention doesn’t need to be complicated. It might be one word or a short phrase like “I will be gentle with myself today” or I will be kind to myself” or “I am worthy”. I would also draw an oracle card for the day from my preferred deck.

The next act of special care on the agenda is a long hot shower followed by breakfast – OJ, black coffee and a toasted cinnamon raisin bagel with a few rashers of smoked streaky bacon or pancetta. (I never said that I was necessarily going for the healthiest option here.)

I would then spend the rest of the morning doing something creative, either preparing a blog for posting or working on my current book baby. If the weather was being kind and was warm and sunny, breakfast and this creative time would be spent outside at the picnic table in the garden with my cats milling about.

I’ll assume for the purposes of this blog that it’s a beautiful warm summer day,

Lunch would be a simple affair- caprese salad, yogurt, an apple and a bottle of flavoured water. (I’m a big fan of Waterdrop tablets so who knows what flavour the water might be). I’d read my kindle while I was eating lunch outdoors.

After lunch, I would continue to read my book for a while in sun before setting off for a walk along the coastal road to the beach. This stretch of beach is quite short but it’s just enough to feed my inner “beach bum”. As I walk along the sand I’d scour the beach for sea glass, searching in particular from some blue sea glass.  By the time I arrive back home a couple of hours later I could easily have walked five miles.

If time allowed, I’d relax with another drink of water, a handful of plain Pringles and my kindle until it was time to cook dinner. I enjoy cooking so making a meal isn’t a chore.

After dinner I’d feed my creative soul and spend time working on my current book baby. As this is my ideal day, the words would flow effortlessly onto the page…if only!

Around 9pm I would put down my pen and spend an hour or so relaxing by watching TV with the Boy Child. This may also involve a glass of white wine and a few more plain Pringles (I’ll admit to a weakness for plain Pringles)

Before bed, I would write my gratitude journal for the day- best moment of the day, three things I’m grateful for and three things I’m looking forward to. I would also write my diary. (I’ve kept a daily diary for over 40 years) then read a few more pages of my book before turning out the light and enjoying eight hours of uninterrupted sleep. Oh well, a girl can dream!

That would be a good day though.

How would you spend a day taking “special care” of yourself?                              

A Widow For A Year And Change…..

I don’t often write these blogs on a personal level, preferring to keep the vast majority of my personal life out of the social media spotlight. This week is an exception.

I’ve been a widow for a year…and a few days… and it still feels weird…surreal…unreal.

There’s a certain loss of identity that comes with this new title that isn’t sitting easy with me. Am I single? Am I still married? I know that legally I’m single but what about emotionally? Who am I now?

There have been a lot of hurdles to get over this year as I try to rebuild not just my own life but also a new dynamic to family life too. It’s an ongoing journey and there’s a long way to go still with certain aspects of it.

I have tried to take time out this year for myself. I’m not good at putting myself first. It really doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m also not very good at being patient with myself. I set far too high a level of expectation of myself but at least I’ve recognised that so that’s a small step forward.

On World Mental Health Day I attended a webinar through work about burnout and it proved to be a bit of a lightbulb moment for me. Burnout and I are not strangers to each other. I first burnt out in 2012. (I recognise that now, but it took a while to acknowledge this.) It was that experience that set me on my current creative path so there was something positive came out of it.

Last year left me burnt out for a second time. If I’m being honest, I actually burnt out towards the end of 2021 but had no option but to keep going. I can admit that now. I have tried to be gentle with myself this year…. or have I?

The session I attended on 10th October brought me up short. Had I been pushing myself too hard? When I asked a close friend that question, they replied “Probably have.” That too brought me up short.

One of the casualties of the way I have been feeling both physically and emotionally this year has been my writing. I don’t mean these short weekly blog posts. My current work-in-progress, my 9th book baby, is the innocent victim here. The words just haven’t been flowing. I’ve felt disconnected from it. I parked it a few months ago, started a new project but that felt all wrong too, so I went back to the original piece. I owe it to that story to finish telling it.

Another thing that session from earlier this month made me acknowledge is that fresh signs of burnout are appearing. I’ve spotted them but they need to be addressed and addressed soon before they spiral out of control. And address them I will. I promise.

Several followers of this blog and my creative journey have been asking when my next book will be out. They’ve been asking if there will be more books about Silver Lake and Jake Power. They’ve been asking if there is more to come from Riley.

I guess where I’m going here is yes, but all in good time.

I have Book Baby 9 partially written. It’s about a third to halfway there. I just need to be patient with myself a little longer and not try to force the words out onto the page. When you do that, they don’t necessarily land in the right order. I’ve been working on it for two years…that’s longer than I’ve spent writing any of its siblings.

I owe it to myself and to the tale to take my time and not force the issue. Creatively it needs to flow and for now that flow is a bit of a stop/start affair, a bit like everyday life.

One step at a time. One word at a time… and this widow will rediscover her creative mojo.

Oceanic Healing (poem)

Each wave soothes my hurt

Each wave that caresses my feet soothes my soul

Each grain of sand between my toes helps to fill the cracks in my heart

The sun’s rays bring new warmth back into my heart

The solitude of the ocean allows my broken body and soul peace and time to heal

Each wave crashing in on the shore pulls away the layers of pain and hurt and anger.

Each wave restores me just that little bit more.

The enormity of the ocean teaches me that there’s a vast world out there on the horizon 

The pull of the waves against my legs reminds me that I am strong 

The beach, the ocean…they are teaching me that it’s OK to feel alive and happy again 

I AM…. (poetry blog)

I am tired of feeling sad.

I am tired of feeling low.

I am tired of feeling broken.

I am tired of feeling useless.

I am tired of feeling lost.

I am tired of feeling anxious.

I am tired of feeling worried.

I am tired of feeling scared.

I am tired of feeling fear.

I am tired of feeling the need to be strong.

I am tired of feeling.

I am tired.

I am….

(Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner)

Riley – would look great wrapped up with a green bow under your Christmas tree

Books make great Christmas gifts.

Did you know that Riley is available in paperback worldwide.

Nice easy shape to wrap too! Would look awesome with a big green bow!

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0B9SWP6K3

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0B9SWP6K3

** note- this tale makes reference to self-harm**

Did you have a nice holiday/vacation/break?

I’ve come to the final day of Staycation 2022…

I almost cheated with this week’s blog post and just shared this as I eek out these final few precious hours.

But, after two and a bit weeks of going nowhere, seeing no one (with a couple of exceptions), doing very little, practicing yoga (I’m not very good), sitting in the sun (much better at doing that), reading, writing, journaling, listening to music, going for long walks and the occasional beer or wine or two, I thought I’d share this instead… the edited highlights of Staycation 2022.

As I reflected on the past two weeks, a wee voice muttered in my ear that I’d wasted ten precious days of annual leave from the salt mine then another little voice reminded me that sometimes doing “nothing” and speaking to very few folk is exactly what your body and mind are telling you that they need to do.

Mental Health Awareness Week – it was only a few strands of hair… well,quite a few….

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May is Mental Health Awareness month and this week is Mental Health Awareness week in the UK.

The focus of this year’s campaign is body image.

I personally feel this is a very emotive topic and one to be approached with caution and a healthy dose of respect.

Body image isn’t just about who’s too fat or too thin. It covers a huge range of things that can cause people to be self-conscious about themselves. Body image issues can relate to height, to hair colour, to freckles, to wearing glasses, to having scars, to …. to absolutely anything about physical appearance. The list is almost endless.

Sadly, the media puts so much pressure on people, both male and female, particularly young people, to look “perfect.”

No one is perfect but we are all unique. However, if you are experiencing a period of anxiety it was very easy for that to manifest itself in fears about your image. You can swiftly become overly self-conscious about the smallest of things.

My own personal brush with this topic could easily be argued as being more than a little vain. I accept that. I’ve shared my own tale in the past of reaching a point in my life, about seven years ago now, that triggered a few physical signs of stress/anxiety so I won’t repeat myself.

I also appreciate in relation to some of the more serious aspects of the mental health connections to body image issues that my tale is trivial.

However, at the time, it was a huge issue for me. A huge issue I kept silent about for a very long time.

I’ll back track a bit here if you’ll allow me the indulgence. I’ve written before about being bullied as a child. Again, I’m not about to repeat that tale either. When that started all of those long years ago, one of the things that adversely impacted my self-esteem was my haircut and my horrendous blue NHS 1970’s specs! I grew the awful “pudding bowl” haircut out, developing a lifelong fear of hairdressers along the way. As a teenager, I was able to hide behind my long hair, using it as a shield to protect me. (The NHS specs were eventually replaced with a more modern pair when I was sixteen but not before I’d damaged my sight by not wearing them in school. The glasses were eventually replaced by a contact lens – yes, one.)

Since then, my hair has always been long. I’ve never been fortunate enough to be blessed with thick or wavy hair. It’s always been silky fine and poker straight.

When my stress levels went through the roof a few years ago, one of the physical signs associated with the anaemia that I experienced was hair loss. Gradually, over a period of a few months, I lost between a half and a third of the volume of my hair. I was fortunate in a sense that it thinned rather than fell out in clumps leaving bald patches. The hair loss was the main factor that led to me going to the doctor to get checked out.

The anaemia was resolved with a lengthy course of iron pills but the hair’s condition remained. I became incredibly self-conscious about it. It was ridiculous! Here I was in my mid-40’s stressing about my hair. Worrying myself silly about what folk were thinking.

In all honesty, I was and still am scared of going bald. I accept that it’s a trivial point in the grand scheme of things but for quite some time I became extremely self-conscious about it.

I stopped tying my long hair back – my ponytail looked like a long skinny rat’s tail to my biased eyes. If I tied it up, as I had done for years, my bun looked like a crumb! There was so little volume to my waist length hair that 4 kirby grips/bobby pins held it all securely in place.

I researched shampoos and vitamin supplements to encourage hair growth. After a period of time, and a lot of expense, I gave up on the fancy shampoos but, to this day, still take the supplements.

About four years ago, I noticed one particularly thin/bare patch emerging. My blood ran cold. Fear and panic swept in. The area at the front of my hair, where my parting and fringe met looked to be separating like the Red Sea. In reality, yes, it was thin, very thin, but what other people saw wasn’t what I saw in the mirror every morning. I saw bare scalp! My fragile self-esteem began to plummet.

Once I calmed myself down, I realised that there was an easy-ish solution. The fringe had to go! I had to grow it back out and add the hair volume of my fringe back into the rest. This was something I hadn’t done since I was thirteen years old! It took over two years but finally the fringe was gone- the thin/balding patch was hidden/disguised/gone.

Gradually the fear of going bald subsided… for now.

The self-esteem repaired itself again.

New hair, mainly grey strands, began to grow in. Going grey doesn’t phase me in the slightest but that in itself can be another body image trigger for people. I view these strands of grey as strands of glitter and I’ll expose them proudly. Each new grey one represents new hair, more volume and boosts the self-esteem a little.

Friends and colleagues laugh when I say that I don’t mind gradually going grey. I’m not, in general, vain about my appearance. (At least I don’t think I am!) I acknowledge that at times I can be very self-conscious almost to the point of paranoia.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is that it can be the little things that trigger body image concerns that can quickly escalate into more serious issues as well as the big things.

However, even if to you, a person’s fears and concerns seem trivial, don’t belittle them. These can be huge fears to them. Show a little empathy and understanding. Encourage them to be proud of who they are as they are. Encourage their self-belief and self-love.

A little supportive understanding goes a very long way.

 

For more information on MHAW please check out the link below:

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/campaigns/mental-health-awareness-week

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An Inspirational Book Launch….. my first actual book launch.

Recently I received an invitation to a book launch.

Despite having self-published my book babies and contributed to several poetry anthologies in the past, I’d never actually been to a book launch.

Let me back track slightly here though….

Several months ago, I received an email at work looking for people to submit poems to a local charity to be compiled into a book that would be sold to raise funds.

I duly trawled through my two poetry notebooks (I don’t write that many poems), selected two that I felt fitted the bill and sent them off then I heard nothing for months……

Out of the blue a few weeks ago, an email arrived to say that both poems had been chosen to be included in the book.

Cue invitation to the book launch!

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So, who are Mind Mosaic?

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Mind Mosaic Counselling and Therapy are a local charity funded mental health organisation offering individual counselling and therapy sessions to adults, teenagers and children. They run group sessions and also offer training. Mind Mosaic have been in existence since 2012 and have grown steadily over the years….and they continue to grow.

Girl Child agreed to be my chaperone for the evening, neither of us too sure what format the event was going to take.

As the invitation says, the book launch was held in the function suite at the local arts centre, The Beacon Arts Centre.

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For two hours we were treated to an evening of poetry and music to launch the book, Inspirational Poetry.

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The book comprises of 42 poems by 23 different “poets”, local people who have been brave enough to make themselves vulnerable by sharing their heartfelt words.  The theme of the book is mental health awareness and the poems cover a diverse range of aspects of this. Each poem is accompanied by a photograph,

As the editor of the book, Johnny Woods, commented, it’s two books in one. It’s a photography book with poems and a poetry anthology with photos.

Personally, I felt the first hour of the launch was a little intense as the poems that were read from the book centred around bereavement, loss and depression. Local musicians, Yvonne and David Lyon, lightened the mood with a short set of folk influenced music though. Fabulous!

After a brief interlude for tea and coffee, proceedings took on a more uplifting vibe. Yvonne and David returned to the stage to perform another short set. (Yvonne – loved the song about the little angel. Could visualise it in my mind’s eye.)

Three further speakers recited some of the more uplifting and motivational poems from the book.

And then, with a vote of thanks, it was all over.

So, what did I contribute to the book?

These…

 

A Teenager’s Bleak Despair

I stare into a bleak world of despair

Easy to be drawn into its depths.

Voices echo inside my head.

Their cries fill the void.

My mum hates me,

Wishes I’d never been born.

My grandparents loathe me,

I’m letting them down.

My peers despise me,

I’m not from this town.

A mirror appears from the dark.

My haunted face stares back.

A light shines from behind

Clear and golden and bright.

Still the darkness draws me in.

 

Hidden From Prying Eyes

Deep inside me

Hidden from prying eyes

Hides me.

 

The public me

Paints on the smile

And glides through the working day.

 

The mummy me

Offers cuddles and hugs

Showering my children in unconditional love.

 

The friend me

Is calm and loyal

Always there to support and assist

 

The real me

Stays hidden

Quiet emotional

Nervous and scared

Frightened she’s found by prying eyes.

 

 

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Mental health awareness is a subject close to my own heart and I am proud to be associated with this book.

If you want to show your support for Mind Mosaic and this fantastic anthology, copies of the book can be purchased for £10 a copy by contacting them at admin@mindmosaic.co.uk or calling the office on 01475 892208 (option1)

And remember, folks, it’s ok not to be ok.

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Also, check out Yvonne Lyon at www.yvonnelyonmusic.com