Tag Archives: #MondayBlogs

Bank Holiday Monday – a household chore that nobody wants to tackle

Posted on May 4, 2015 | 1 comment

Bank Holiday Monday – oh what to do?

Yes, there’s the usual list of chores that could be done, the compulsory trip to the nearest DIY superstore or a venture to the local garden centre.

It would be nice to go out for a leisurely family lunch. ( A girl can but dream)

If the sun stays out, I could venture out later, camera in hand,

If the rain comes on, there’s one task that should be undertaken.

This is a task that any of the four of us who live in this house could do. We all know and agree that it needs to be done. Once it has been done, we will all benefit from its completion.

Will it get done today?…….well, the day is young……but I’m making no rash promises here!

So what is this dreaded chore that desperately requires attention?

The family CD collection needs to be put into alphabetical order. (The DVDs and Blu Rays are already done- the books are a lost cause!)

Considering the amount of music played in this household, there’s not an unmanageable amount to sort out.

In the dim and distant past, when we only had about 50 CDs, they were all neatly stacked in a small black storage unit from Argos and were in strict alphabetical order.

Then two things – well three technically – happened.

We had children, both of whom loved to tip the CDs all over the living room floor as toddlers.

And we bought more music so the original storage unit rapidly became too small.

The end result is, that over a lengthy period of time, law and order has long since vanished from the family music collection. I hasten to add, my treasured box of vinyl is in perfect alphabetical order.

Bearing in mind the diverse musical tastes of the household, if you randomly select a CD, Lord knows what you may find in your hands.

When attempting to agree on which CD should provide the background music over dinner, we’ve resorted on many occasions to selections such as “middle shelf, second column from the right, six discs down.”. Then you pray it doesn’t result in the soundtrack from High School Musical or Bob The Builder.

Suffice to say, there’s an eclectic mix lurking on those shelves.

We also have a size issue to consider when one of us finally gets around to restoring law and order. Some albums have come in presentation boxes of non-standard size. Others are CD/DVD combinations in boxes of a non-standard width. There’s some in cardboard gatefold sleeves. And don’t get me started about the number with cracked and broken boxes!

Throw in the countless Now CD’s that will require numerical sorting too, is it any wonder that no one wants to tackle this labour of love?

Well, I suppose I should stop procrastinating and bite the bullet and get on with it.

 Oh wait! I’ve just remembered I need to go to garden centre as a matter of urgency to purchase some plants for the patio!

I guess the CDs can wait a while longer….

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The First Few Days of Book Baby Motherhood

Posted on April 20, 2015 | 5 comments

Book Baby Blog collage

It’s Sunday morning and I’m sitting in the sun with a coffee and some hot buttered cinnamon raisin toast, trying to get my head around the last few days.

What can I say about last week? Where to start!

When I uploaded my last blog post and launched Book Baby on the world I was physically trembling with nerves – scared nerves and excited nerves.

Walking into the salt mine as usual an hour or so later felt weird. I guess by then my own paranoia was beginning to creep in and I felt as though everyone was staring at me. The rational voice in my head told me not to be so stupid, to go and get a coffee and get on with some work – I did.

Throughout the day my phone, email and FB pages were lit up like Christmas trees as I was smothered in congratulatory wishes. Thank you!

The majority of the day was spent with a warm feeling of pride burning deep inside me – possibly fuelled by the 50 Shades of Red I turned every time anyone spoke to me about Book Baby!

I had bought a tiny bottle of bubbly on my way home the night before. In all honesty, I wasn’t sure how to celebrate this momentous event. I’d gone through many ideas in my head but wasn’t confident that anyone else would be the least bit interested in celebrating with me on a Wednesday night or any other night for that matter. (I’m not a party person)

The Big Green Gummi Bear usually heads to the gym after work so I didn’t expect him home until late – hence the choice of a little bottle of bubbles. Enough for one small glass each. One wee toast.

He surprised me by coming home early, skipping the gym. He said he felt as though it was wrong to go to the gym and that he should come home and celebrate with me. That meant SO much to me!

We toasted the birth of Stronger Within together – should’ve bought a bigger bottle after all!

Then we were both looking at each other with a “Now what?” question hanging in the air.

Emotionally it all felt very surreal and, to be honest, it still does.

Even now, I’m still blushing bright red any time anyone speaks to me about the book. That little nagging voice of “Paranoia” has been whispering in my ear all week as I hear of more and more friends and family (including parents!) and friends of my parents (eek!) who are reading or planning to start reading my Book Baby- what if they hate it? What if they think its rubbish? What if they are laughing at me behind my back?

What can I say? That’s me through and through about most things in life! Still psychologically scarred from the dim and distant past.

So “Now what”?  The question is still hanging there waiting to be answered.

I’ve drawn up a short list –

  • Stop feeling so self-conscious and allow myself to feel proud of my achievement
  • Relax and let things take their course with Stronger Within
  • Re-connect with my characters and story lines. The rest of the tale isn’t going to write itself!
  • Learn how to stop blushing!

I’ve a feeling that the last one may prove to be impossible!

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Still As A Statue

Posted on March 23, 2015 | 2 comments

A few months ago I was walking up Sauchiehall St in Glasgow with Girl Child and took note of the number of buildings that have ornate figures carved on them, especially up around the O2 ABC area. It set me thinking….seldom a good thing.

The following short piece of fiction was inspired by those mad thoughts. Enjoy!

Still As A Statue

The soft light from the computer screen was the only illumination in the room. Staring intently at the screen, the young art student couldn’t comprehend what she was seeing. It was late and she knew she was tired however what she had just noticed made no logical sense at all.

For the past two weeks she had been focussed on her final photography project for her portfolio. She had a love/hate relationship with the camera but, after a lengthy lecture from her tutor, had conceded that she had no choice but to submit some photographic images as part of her overall degree portfolio. In an attempt to make things easier for herself, she had elected to centre the theme of her coursework on the stone statues that she walked past every day on her way to college.

Her daily route took her across a small square in the city centre, slightly off the beaten track, but filled with stone statues. It had caught her attention in her first year and she had done some research at that time into its history. All the sandstone buildings around the perimeter of the square had been designed by a Victorian architect who was renowned for adding Gothic touches to his work. He had met up with an aspiring French sculptor and together they had collaborated on the architecture of the square. Every building had at least one carved stone image on display, some having several. There were gargoyles leering down from every angle. In the centre of the quadrangle there was a small public garden containing more samples of the sculptor’s work.Her research had come to an abrupt halt. Both the architect and the sculptor had mysteriously disappeared shortly before the last house was completed, leaving one home with an empty plinth within the archway above the front entrance. As the sculptor hadn’t left any instructions or partially finished pieces, no one knew which statue had been destined to fill the space.

The following day she had scoured the area and finally found the house with the missing statue. It may have been her imagination but the air temperature had seemed to drop  a few degrees as she stood gazing up at the empty arch.

Now almost three years later she used these statues as  the models for her photography project. They had proved to be the perfect subjects. Always still. Facial expressions fixed. No risk of them twitching and ruining the shot. She had photographed them over several days, taking hundreds of shots from every conceivable angle. In different light they looked subtly altered so she repeated her photographic session by the light of the dawn and by the light of the moon. The variable Scottish weather had aided her project too, allowing her the opportunity to capture images of the stone figures bathed in bright sunshine and lashed by driving rain.

As she had edited the photographs she had felt pleased with the results. Her camera had captured the texture of the stone, the emotions carved into the faces and she had even picked out a few smaller carvings that she previously missed.

Now though, as she sat preparing the final images for printing off in college in the morning, she couldn’t make sense of the scenes before her.

Crazy as it sounded, the statues weren’t always in the same location.

Scrutinising   the hundreds of photographs she concentrated on four statues who appeared to move about the most. Within the four folders she had saved out she had photographic proof that she had shot them in at least half a dozen different locations around the square. One, a tall slender striking male had even managed to appear in the park on a short column instead of his usual position beside the door of number seven. The statue of a young woman with long tumbling curls also moved from house to house. In one image she was crouching down above a doorway, almost as if she were trying to squeeze into a space too small for her, instead of standing on a wide base in a corner of the gardens.

A cold chill ran down her spine as she copied the pictures onto a flash drive. She would take them into college and show her tutor what she had uncovered.

With the images saved and the flash drive removed, she shut down the laptop and headed for bed.

Outside on the window sill, a tall slender male was crouched down watching her. He had been there all evening, as he had every other evening for a week. In the moonlight his alabaster white skin glistened.

He had repeatedly warned the others to take more care. Cautioned them against their reckless behaviour. Now, from what he had just witnessed, he knew they were all at risk. The art student had discovered their secret…or at least she thought she had. Little did she truly know.

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A Labour of Love

Posted on March 16, 2015 | Leave a comment

Hopes and plans and dreams (some of them nightmares) for Book Baby are dominating my creative mind just now so apologies if blog posts are short and sweet over the next few weeks.

Although affectionately known as Book Baby (among a few other choice names on occasion) this whole process has in some respects been a bit like deciding to have a child and then going through a lengthy pregnancy.

Should I? Shouldn’t I? When’s a good time? Can I actually do this?

There’s a lot of “foreplay” as you work out what fits where and then the creative juices find their natural rhythm and flow freely.

Since creating my KDP account a few weeks back and being in the throes of getting Book Baby ready to face the world, I’m rapidly realising that writing the original draft of the story was the fun bit and the easy part ….. a bit like making a baby 😉

For the last few months, with the support of my wonderful alpha and beta readers, I’ve been nurturing Book Baby, preparing it for its arrival into the world of Kindle rock romance fiction.

We are now almost exactly a month from my anticipated publication date and, to compare it again to a baby bump, I have a large unwieldy word document that is dominating my world, draining my dwindling energy reserves and keeping me awake at night.

Book Baby’s due date is fast approaching and I don’t mind confessing to being more than a little scared here. I’m excited too and feeling just a little bit proud of myself for getting so far.

Irrational fears of “what if’s” are torturing me in the wee small hours as I lie awake.

“What if KDP reject it for some obscure reason?”

“What if people think Book Baby is ugly?”

“What if I can’t cope with this once it’s unleashed on the world?”

“What if I’m not cut out to be a Book Baby mummy?”

Like all new “mothers” I’ve deliberated long and hard over what “outfit” my baby will wear when it first ventures out in the world. I still have a few options but I think I’ve finally settled on a cover design. Thanks to another wonderfully supportive artistic friend my Book Baby won’t enter the Kindle world naked!

So now it’s time to allow the last few pages of the final draft to develop, for the little vital add-ons (author’s note, legal disclaimers and the like) to be finalised and then, with one final labour of love, to deliver it safely onto the Kindle platform.

Book Baby was conceived while sitting in the early evening sun on my front doorstep at the beginning of May 2013. Now after a labour of love lasting almost two years, the end is in sight.

Book baby collage

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Can You Take A Loaf Into A Gig?

Posted on March 9, 2015 | 2 comments

Five twenty five and I’m on a train. It can only mean one thing. Rock Mum aka Rock Friend was off out to play.

Little did I realise……

After a few last minute changes of plans due to illness, I was accompanied by Boy Child, Girl Child. FB Son, Rock Chick Friend and a new addition to the posse, who will be christened later in this tale.

Our destination was the legendary Barrowlands Ballroom in Glasgow where the American rock band Halestorm were headlining for the night.

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As the train pulled into Glasgow’s Central Station, FB Son and the as yet un-named member of our group declared that they needed to grab something to eat. While I darted off to the loo, the two boys headed off in search of some food. FB Son duly returned with a sensible healthy sandwich and some fruit juice. His friend returned with a loaf of bread. Not just any old loaf – an M&S loaf!

Cue every bread joke imaginable!

Bread Boy, no longer nameless, promptly began to munch his way through said loaf slice by slice.

On the taxi ride out to the venue, the loaf was securely tucked into the seat belt just to ensure it arrived safely at the gig.

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It queued patiently with us for forty minutes without a murmur of complaint, although it was now reduced to less than half a dozen slices.

I bumped into my fellow rock chick writer friend and her husband in the queue and they too were duly introduced to Loaf and Bread Boy.

“Are you allowed to take a loaf into a gig?” was a question I never thought I would ponder.

The loaf made it through security and was escorted upstairs via the merchandise stall into the ballroom.

At this point our tale splits – or should that be slices?

The three boys, having dumped their hoodies and assorted t-shirts with Rock Chick Friend and I, disappeared off with Loaf in search of some moshing and crowd surfing. It had already been pointed out that a baguette would’ve been a smarter choice for crowd surfing.

Us girls took ourselves across the hall and secured a spot fairly far forward with a clear view of the stage.

The first support act, Wilson, took the stage by storm and played a blistering half hour set. In front of us, two “females” had pushed their way in and stood drinking throughout the entire set.

Second support band, the amazing Nothing More, followed Wilson and held the audience captivated with their performance. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more athletic display of drumming. Awesome set! Check both these bands out if you haven’t done so already.

The two “females” still stood in front of us downing pint after pint.

As the hall filled up, it was getting to be more tightly packed around us and it was getting hotter (not helped by the fact I had three hoodies tied round my waist and at least three t-shirts stuffed down the various sleeves).

Halestorm took to the stage, opening their set with Mz Hyde. Love that song!

The two, now very drunk, “females” launched straight into full on dance mode. Both of them were completely oblivious to the carnage they were causing with their drunken gyrations. One had also by now soaked Girl Child down one side as she had thoughtlessly discarded the remains of her beer. After too long watching my baby girl getting bodily thumped and smacked in the face with hair, I stepped in between her and the gyrating drunk.

Now I’m not a large person and I am most certainly not a violent person but I will not stand back and watch my kids getting hassled.

Bracing myself, I let the “female” bounce off me a few times, barely able to retain my own balance. At least Girl Child was out of the firing line.

The crowd was tightly packed around us and there was no visible alternative spot to relocate to. If we wanted to see the stage, we had to stay where we were.

At the end of the number, the “female” turned round to face me and hurled a foul mouthed rant at me about what did I think I was doing. Cue angry rant back about what did she think she was playing at and did she realise that she had repeatedly battered into my daughter. She spat a mouthful of abuse back at me. It was clear to see she was too drunk and too ignorant to care!

To our left, another mother was having a similar conversation with the drunken friend to the same effect.

Despite our best efforts neither of us could attract the attention of the security staff at the front of the crowd. We were stuck with them. I silently prayed that the beer would take over entirely and that they would run out of steam.

Girl Child had had enough. She bailed out to sit at the side of the room. I offered to go with her but she said to stay and enjoy myself. Awash with guilt at my baby girl missing out due to the thoughtless actions of the two drunks, I opted to stay put.

OK, there’s a stubborn streak in me- I wasn’t moving for anyone least of all an ignorant foul-mouthed drunk.

Rock Chick Friend had wandered off to the side to get some air so I hoped Girl Child would find her and not be entirely on her own. (Sadly she didn’t)

Out on stage Halestorm were playing a blinder of a set that included three of the songs from their forthcoming album Into the Wild Life. The main set ended with a fabulous rendition of I Miss The Misery.

And during that who did I spot?

FB Son crowd surfing!

The two drunks had thankfully long since run out of bounce and were at long last not disturbing those around them. Hallelujah!

During Halestorm’s encore someone threw a Scottish Saltire flag up on stage which Lzzy duly held up before tying it round her neck. Wearing it like a super hero cape, Lzzy and the rest of the band ended the show with Here’s To Us.

As the lights went up, I quickly located Girl Child and greeted her with a huge hug. I still felt like I’d failed her.

As the crowd dispersed we waited for the boys and Rock Chick Friend to reappear. The boys turned up first, minus Loaf. The loaf had enjoyed Wilson and Nothing More but after a bit of crowd surfing (humble apologies to Halestorm – those naughty boys lobbed a slice on stage!), the loaf failed to survive the moshing and was trampled underfoot in the mosh pit.

R.I.P. Loaf!

If only the two females in front of us had used their “loaves”. If they had had a little – ok a lot- less to drink and actually been aware of their surroundings then perhaps all of us could have enjoyed a memorable gig.

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Aftermath – due to adverse weather conditions the trains had been disrupted while we were at the gig. Shortly before midnight, tired, wet and weary, the six of us boarded the last train out of Glasgow. It was jam packed. There’s nothing worse than being stone cold sober on the “Piss Head Express”. The train service terminated five stops from home and we were all herded back out into the wind and rain and onto coaches to complete the journey. The six of us ended up on a bus filled with folk who had been to see Lionel Ritchie at the SSE Hydro and who insisted on serenading us with “All Night Long”.

A long night it had been. A long surreal night!

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And Breathe…..And Relax

Posted on February 23, 2015 | Leave a comment

And breathe…and relax.

The “R” word is something I am very bad at. It’s always on the To Do List but invariably ends up being the last thing to be ticked off – if I even get that far!

This week however I ticked it off the list!

I find it very difficult to make proper “me time” on a regular basis. Yes. I go for a walk most lunchtimes (weather permitting) but that doesn’t really relax me as , by the time I’m heading back up the path towards the salt mine, I’m already thinking to the afternoon ahead and to what I need to achieve.

If the sun’s out at the weekend or on summer evenings I try to head out for a walk along the beach, camera in hand, but again, soothing as it is, I’m thinking photos, sunsets, birds and the occasional rainbow.

“Book Baby” has taken up a huge amount of my spare time over the past year and a half and, much as I love losing myself in my characters and the story, I don’t totally relax while I’m sitting pen in hand (cue panic that people will think my Book Baby is ugly!)

So how do I relax? How do I finally hit the pause button on my world and my mind?

Reiki.

To explain briefly, for those of you who have never heard the word before, Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that also promotes healing. (This link explains it better than I ever could www.reiki.org )

For about ninety minutes the world around me gets placed on hold. Nothing out with the room exists. It truly is my “me time”.

I’ve tried a wide variety of holistic and massage therapies over the years. I’ve even taken courses on some but Reiki is the only one I’ve found that totally de-stresses me and generates a calm feeling that lasts way beyond the actual treatment.

For me, each treatment differs. Over the last ten or twelve years that I’ve been enjoying the benefits, no two experiences have felt the same. Some have been very emotionally intense but I always head home feeling lighter, calmer and at peace with my world.

Last Wednesday night was no different. I knew I had left it too long between treatments but even I was horrified with myself to discover it had been ten months since my last “me time”. Far too long and it won’t happen again. (I promise, Laurie)

It’s a very personal experience when you have a Reiki treatment. I  feel there has to be a connection with the Reiki practitioner. If that bond isn’t forged then you don’t get the full benefits of the therapy session.

This time the experience was very calm, deeply relaxing and good for the soul. Exactly what I needed.

The best analogy I can use to describe the effect Reiki has on me is this – you know the spare shoelace that lies at the back of the junk drawer in your kitchen? The one that’s all tangled up and covered in bits of fluff and dried up elastic bands? Right, that’s how I feel when I arrive for a treatment. The “fluff” is all the clutter that sticks to us in daily life. When I leave, the shoelace is all clean and straight. All the kinks have been removed and the fluff’s long since been shed.

Even now, several days later, I’ve still got that feeling of inner peace. I visualise the Reiki energy being stored within me in wee bubbles. My bubbles are all round and full just now. Happy girl.

Once they start to pop and dwindle in number then it’s time for “me time”.

This time I promise myself that I won’t wait until they are long since gone.

If you are feeling frazzled by everyday life, this beautiful therapy experience may be the one for you. It’s not for everyone as some people find it too intense but if you think it could be for you, treat yourself.

You inner shoelace will love you for it!

 bubbles collage

credits to the picture owners- sourced from Google

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Just How Many Clothes Do You Need At A Gig?

Posted on February 16, 2015 | Leave a comment

This week it was time to resume normal musical activities.

Rock Mum made her first appearance of 2015!

Chaperoned by Boy Child, we headed off to Glasgow last Wednesday.

Yes, usual train.

Yes, usual venue.

When we saw the lengthy queue outside the O2 ABC some forty minutes before the doors were due to open I was convinced to forego my usual caffeine fix to ensure a spot on the barrier.

Forty minutes is a long time to stand in the cold, staring across Sauchiehall Street at my missed coffee opportunity. (One more stamp on my loyalty card and I get a free fix!)

An hour later coffee was the last thing on my mind!

I had Crobot on my mind! Oh and headliners Black Label Society.

I was also beginning to feel like a clothes horse! Due to the cold weather, I had worn two thin hoodies and a long sleeved top over my Crobot t-shirt. Now as I stood on the barrier, I had the two hoodies, one inside the other, tied round my waist with the long sleeved top stuffed down the sleeve of the hoodies. In my trusty red “gig bag” I had another two Black Label Society t-shirts, procured from the merchandising stand (There was no one manning the Crobot stand at this point- return visit was already planned). Beside me Boy Child was grumbling about having to wear a hoodie and what was he meant to do with it.

The lights dimmed. Crobot hit the stage with all guns blazing! An awesome sight to behold!

I’ve been a huge fan of this band since being given their EP and subsequently their debut album to review last year.

I had the honour of seeing and meeting them last September in the smaller O2 ABC2. They were amazing that night, performing as if they were playing to a packed arena instead of to less than fifty folk.

This time round the room was much bigger and it was almost full. Result!

Watching Brandon, Jake, Chris and Paul give it their all made my heart sing.

How Chris manages to twirl that Fender Telecaster round his body the way he does I’ll never know. Neat trick!

All too soon their seven song set was over. (Please hurry back and headline a show, boys)

Time to go and say hello.

With Boy Child in tow, we surrendered our barrier spots and headed back across to the merchandising stand.

Front man, Brandon, was already there and deep in conversation with a fan. A part of me began to fret that I was being a bit presumptuous here. Would he recognise or remember me? After all, how many folk must these guys meet and greet?

I needn’t have worried. A huge smile, an interrupted conversation and an equally huge hug reassured me that I had been recognised. Cue one happy girl!

Politely I stepped aside and allowed the other fans to chat with him while I slipped past to buy two new Crobot t-shirts (one was stowed in the trusty handbag and the other went down the other sleeve of the hoodie)

When Brandon was finished chatting to the other fans, he turned back to Boy Child and I. More hugs and quick introductions to Boy Child then a couple of photos. Enter Jake, the bass player, from the right. More hugs and greetings and introductions. More photos! Love the face these boys pull!

We chatted briefly then they excused themselves (OK slipped out the back door for a sneaky smoke) while Boy Child and I wandered back over to watch the second band of the evening, Black Tusk. Great name. Pity about the noise they made. Wasn’t impressed. (Sorry, guys)

While the stage crew worked to clear the stage and set up for Black Label Society I headed for the little girl’s room and the bar (Diet Coke- honest!) I met Jake en route and we exchanged pleasantries. I also met a work colleague who seemed somewhat amused that I was happily camped out down at the front of the crowd – again!

I wasn’t sure what to expect of Black Label Society. On the other hand, Boy Child had been surveying the crowd and had his hopes set on a mosh pit.

Before the lights dimmed, he handed me his hoodie to look after. More clothes!

Hoodie number three was duly tied round my waist. This was getting silly, not to mention hot!

Let me attempt to set the scene with regards to the crowd here. Black Label Society fans appear to be almost “patched in” like a scene from Sons of Anarchy. Most fans had “cuts” on with Black Label Society emblazoned on the back and were sporting beanies on their heads. And I’ve never seen so much facial hair in one room before!

So how do you get everyone on side before you start? Playing a bagpipe rendition of “Flower of Scotland” was inspired. Everyone in the place was singing their hearts out. When “Flower of Scotland” was done, the lights remained dimmed and the Black Label Society curtain still hung over the front of the stage while a mash-up of Black Sabbath’s “War Pigs” and Led Zeppelin’s “Whole Lotta Love” blared out. Cue more enthusiastic singing.

The curtain dropped and Black Label Society stood on stage in their full glory, blasting out their opening number “In The Beginning…At last”

Cue second inspired move – Zakk Wyle was wearing a kilt! Brilliant!

I’ll be honest- I’m not overly familiar with their music but I do love some of the tracks off their last album. If you don’t like lengthy ego-massaging guitar solos, give these guys a miss.

Boy Child had darted off into the midst of the crowd as soon as they had started while I had slipped back down to the barrier at the corner of the stage. Perfect vantage point for my camera.

A few songs in and much moshing later, Boy Child appeared at my side, clutching his nose, muttering that he was OK and then thrust his sweaty t-shirt at me. It took me a moment or two to realise he’d been covered in blood, by which time, he was long gone back into the dark.

The “mother” in me twitched a bit but figured he’d be back if he was really hurt. I returned my attention to the stage.

Not however before I had stowed said sweaty t-shirt down the sleeve of his hoodie and re-tied it round my waist. Thank God it wasn’t overly hot in the venue!

This was the first night of Black Label Society’s European invasion…sorry, tour….so I’m possibly about to be a bit harsh. (If I am, I humbly apologise)

On stage at Zakk Wylde’s feet I had noticed a pile of A1 laminated sheets. Lyric sheets in large print. Everything about these guys is larger than life- even the cheat sheets!

I take my hat off to vocalists. I have no idea how they remember the lyrics to all their songs.

Highlight of their set for me was “Angel of Mercy”. Love that song.

It was followed by an impressive piano solo by Zakk Wylde and a song called “In This River”, sung in tribute to the late Dimebag Darrell.

Time was running away from them and curfew was fast approaching. Black Label Society declined to go off and return for an encore, electing instead to stay out on stage and just play the final couple of numbers.

As the last chords died away, the lights went up, roadies invaded the stage and I went in search of Boy Child, feeling somewhat weighed down by three hoodies with three t-shirts in their sleeves.

I found him. Hot, tired, sweaty, a bit battered and broken but grinning from ear to ear.

The “mum” in me was relieved to see him in one piece. Baby Boy Child was nursing a suspected broken nose, a punched face and some bashed ribs but he’d survived moshing with the big boys…just!

All in all, a successful night out. Wish Crobot had been able to play for longer. Wish Black Tusk hadn’t bothered to play at all!

And I wonder what Zakk Wylde was wearing under that kilt…………..

 BLS collage

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You Can’t Do That To That Song! It’s Just Not Right…….

Posted on February 9, 2015 | 1 comment

After last week’s Hayseed Dixie gig I showed some of my video footage to Boy Child.

He threw his hands up in horror and declared emphatically that certain classic rock songs should be “listed” in a similar way to buildings.

He may be on to something here.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, if a building is “listed” in the UK it cannot be demolished, extended or altered without special permission from the relevant authorities. I believe many other countries have similar legislation covering buildings of historic interest.

In Scotland, there are three categories of “listed” buildings depending on their significance – A, B and C listed.

An example of a Class A listed building would be the Palace of Holyroodhouse in Edinburgh, a Class B example is the Mitchell Library in Glasgow and a Class C example is my favourite haunt, the O2 ABC, Glasgow.

You get the picture, right?

So, if this theory of classification were to be applied to rock songs what would/should be classified as “Listed”?

Do you put an age caveat on eligibility? For example, does the song have to be over ten years old?

Do you categorise it by the number of copies the original sold?

Or the number of downloads on iTunes?

This could get complicated!

Let’s keep it simple for starters, shall we?

Class A listed songs – ones that should never be messed with but may be covered with permission as long as the cover version remains true to the original.

Top of my list would be “Bohemian Rhapsody”. When I asked Boy Child to name his Class A songs he instantly replied “Everything by Led Zeppelin.” I’m sure many of you would agree, I may however be a bit more precise. I’m sure there are a few B’s and C’s in there!

Class B listed songs– ones that may be covered with a modicum of deviation away from the original.

I’d include “Sweet Child O’Mine” in this list, despite the fact it may be my all time favourite song. There are only a handful of vocalists who can do this song justice! A perfect example of an ideal Class B version would be the treatment this song is given by Slash featuring Myles Kennedy and the Conspirators. (note- I still prefer the original)

Class C listed songs – could be altered to a greater degree, with the original act’s explicit consent. This one is harder to choose an example for!

The first song that springs to mind is “London Calling” by The Clash. This was covered last year by Brent Smith and Zach Myers of Shinedown. Their acoustic version of this classic track is significantly different to the original but still retains the song’s identity.

Ok I’ve started the lists – which songs would you add?

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Appearing For One Night Only….the Big Green Gummi Bear’s night out

Posted on February 2, 2015 | Leave a comment

It’s been forty five days since my last fix.

Withdrawal symptoms had long since set in and the depressing January weather among other things wasn’t helping. However Friday dawned bright and sunny, if a tad on the chilly side, and my fix was almost in sight.

This time there was to be a break in my usual routine. A different persona was about to emerge. One that I don’t think has ever been seen in public before – Rock Wife.

As I took my seat on the train to Glasgow to meet the Big Green Gummi Bear, I wracked my brain in an effort to remember the last rock/pop gig we’d been to together. There were a few memorable shows in the dim and distant past- Iron Maiden circa 1991, Def Leppard circa 1993 and a dodgy Bjorn Again gig circa 1994 (not my choice!) among others. I honestly couldn’t recall one that we had been to since we got married in 1995!

The Big Green Gummi Bear has a strict set criteria for going out to play that he rarely deviates from so I suspect I caught him in a weak moment when he agreed to attend this show. It did tick most of his boxes though –

It wasn’t on a school night.

It was part of Celtic Connections, the annual music festival held in Glasgow in January/February

It wasn’t “yicket” music as he phrases it (Hard rock/metal to the rest of us.)

The tickets were bought and paid for before he had time to have second thoughts!

My usual pre-gig routine slipped back into its normal pattern as, accompanied by the Big Green Gummi Bear, I headed for my favourite coffee shop for a much needed caffeine fix.

So where were we going?

The venue for the evening was Glasgow’s O2 ABC. (I love that venue!)

The band that were going to have the honour of being the first headliners the Big Green Gummi Bear had seen this millennium were Hayseed Dixie.

We were both about to be initiated in the delights of “rockgrass”!

Suitably caffeine fuelled, we joined the queue outside the venue shortly before the doors were due to open. (Cue much muttering about the cold and queuing)

Once inside the hall, the Big Green Gummi Bear insisted on putting his jacket in the cloakroom then, after a quick trip the merchandising stall (“Why do you need another black t-shirt with writing on it?”), we took our places right down on the barrier.

The Big Green Gummi Bear is a self-confessed snob. The look on his face as he glanced around was telling me that he was less than impressed so far. Hmm this could be a long night….

The support act were a band from Dublin called The Riptide Movement and they entertained the growing crowd admirably for around forty five minutes. A mental note was duly taken to add then to my ever increasing list of bands to check out further.

Up on stage everything bar four mic stands was cleared away. No drum kit?!

I nipped to the little girl’s room to powder my nose. By the time I returned another couple had come to stand beside us and the Big Green Gummi Bear was talking beards with the guy. No idea how that conversation started! Up on stage there was little activity. The girl enquired if we’d seen Hayseed Dixie before. Both of us confessed we hadn’t. She promised that we’d love them. The Big Green Gummi Bear had his cynical face on. Sensing his scepticism, the girl declared that if he didn’t enjoy the show she would buy him a drink at the bar at the end. Deal!

Hayseed Dixie duly came out on stage to rapturous cheers from the capacity crowd. Their show is very tongue in cheek. The name’s a play on ACDC and front man , John Wheeler, was sporting cut off denim dungarees and a tie-dye t-shirt (A kindergarten version of Angus Young?)

Within minutes of the start of their set the Big Green Gummi Bear was seen smiling.

Over the next two hours many rock classics were given the Hayseed Dixie treatment. Hearing songs like Highway to Hell, Ace of Spade and Bohemian Rhapsody played on acoustic bass, acoustic guitar, mandolin and banjo with the occasional fiddle thrown in was a thoroughly enjoyable if bizarre experience. John Wheeler’s rapport with the audience was fabulous and filled with amens and Hallelujahs. A man that‘s not taking himself too seriously. Amid the rock classics they played a few of their own tunes, most notably I’m Keeping Your Poop. Mandolin player Hippy Joe Hymas’s actions and antics throughout the entire set added to the humour. A hillbilly Gene Simmons!

Behind me a strange transformation was taking place. The Big Green Gummi Bear has graduated from smiling to laughing and was even heard singing along (never a good thing as he couldn’t carry a tune in a bucket!) However, he was having fun!

The show ended with a fifteen minute encore of Hotel California – another classic that will never be the same again!

When the lights went up the girl beside us asked if she needed to buy that drink. The answer was a resounding no.

Hayseed Dixie collage

Mental note to Rock Wife self- add another box to that tick list. Any future gigs with the Big Green Gummi Bear must be on warm dry days.

I almost froze to death outside on the pavement waiting on him collecting his jacket from the cloakroom!

Only nine days until my next fix!

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ASBO Tagged In My Sleep

Posted on January 26, 2015 | 1 comment

For Christmas I asked the Big Green Gummi Bear for a new watch. Not an expensive watch. A simple black or purple every day watch. Nothing fancy.

Following an expensive mix up with dates and tickets for a West End show, I was pushing my luck asking for anything. (If anyone wishes to buy two tickets to Riverdance in London on 4 April please drop me a message. Best seats in the house.)

Anyway, Christmas morning duly arrived and I opened my gift from the Big Green Gummi Bear to find an ASBO tag – sorry- a Fitbit Charge inside. True, it tells the time as requested but I eyed this strange black device somewhat suspiciously.

I am not the fittest person on earth. Not a total couch potato but Hell will freeze over before I go to the gym. The Big Green Gummi Bear freely admitted it was a bit of a wild card gift but he hoped it would trigger my OCD and encourage me to become a bit fitter. I had to admire his optimism.

As I was badly in need of a watch, I began to wear my ASBO tag. (Still not convinced he hasn’t tampered with it and it’s my whereabouts being tracked rather than my activity)

While I go about my daily business, it counts away silently on my wrist – steps, stairs, distance and calories required.

We tolerated each other quite nicely for a few days.

The first time it reached the daily step target of 10 000 steps, it scared the crap out of me! Completely unexpectedly it started to vibrate on my wrist. My ASBO tag seemed rather over excited by the fact I had been trailing round Tesco and the local shops then dared to go out for a walk. It soon got over the shock!

After a couple of weeks, the Big Green Gummi Bear asked if I’d tried its sleep activity tracker. I eyed him rather sceptically and said “No.”

I never wear a watch while I’m sleeping!

Curiosity got the better of me. How could this inanimate black band possibly know if I was asleep or awake?

Let me tell you- it does!

The step, stairs, distance thing I understand. But how the Hell does it know when I’m asleep, restless or awake in the middle of the night?

I have had a rather annoying cough for several weeks so I know my sleep pattern just now is horrendous. It’s never great, if I’m honest.

Night One – I managed to keep the damn thing on all night, a major achievement in itself, and according to the app on the pc, once I’d synced my ASBO tag, I’d been restless ten times for a total of 22 min 49 sec, awake for 5 min 52 sec and asleep for 6 hrs 44 min. It even showed me a bar chart detailing the time I fell asleep, when I stirred and when I was awake during the night.

Every night since has been pretty much the same story give or take a few minutes.

This has me baffled!

The Big Green Gummi Bear may have succeeded in triggering my OCD here but perhaps not in the manner he intended.

I WILL sleep all night without being restless and without wakening up!

The goal is 8 hours of completely undisturbed, unbroken sleep. Somehow I don’t ever see it happening and, if it does, my ASBO tag will probably get itself over excited again, start rattling and waken me up!

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