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Unconditional Feline Love (flash fiction -150 words)

Alone in the bedroom with their human, the two cats sat watching as the brave face she had put on during the day, the smiles and laughter from her business video calls, vanished. As they watched her pull a baggy t-shirt over her head, a cloud of sadness descended over her. Was that a tear on her cheek?

The feline brothers exchanged a glance, telepathically agreeing their strategy. Their human was their world and they were hers.

In the darkness as she slept, they settled on the bed, one on either side of her. One slept curled up close to her heart where she could reach out and hug him close. The other brother stretched out along the length of her legs, sharing his body heat with her to help ground those human emotions. Both of them purred the sound resonating deeply.

Surrounded by unconditional feline love, she slept soundly.

Note- the cat in the photo was Gandalf, my beautiful white boy who crossed over the rainbow bridge a long time ago. He was one of a kind. Miss him.

Have you ever felt drawn to journaling and not known how to?

Have you ever kept a journal? I have- many of them! (some of them are in the photo)

By journal, I’m not meaning a diary where you record what you did each day. (I’ve kept one of them for 40 some years.) What I’m meaning is a journal or notebook for your eyes only where you have poured your heart out onto the page or vented your frustrations.

Did you know that therapeutic journalling has been proven to help people who have suffered trauma and loss as well as those who suffer from chronic illnesses?

In the 1980’s James Pennebaker, a US social psychologist, was one of the first to study the therapeutic benefits of writing in a journal. His study found that journalling was beneficial both emotionally and physically. Journalling especially if the person has written about a stressful event or situation has been proven to support the body’s immune system.

There’s no right or wrong way to journal. It is YOUR journal for YOUR eyes only so of course you are at liberty to write in any way you feel drawn to. You don’t even have to write in full sentences and no one is going to correct either your spelling or your grammar. It is your space to write how you feel you need to but for those who have never tried to journal or who have tried and not had much success with it, I’m going to share a few suggested techniques.

One of the simplest ways to journal is use Lists to help acknowledge and address your fears or feeling or emotions. Have you ever jotted down a list of pros and cons? That’s journalling. This technique can be useful as it helps you to “join the dots” (think on feelings or emotions as the dots) and can help you to gain clarity around the situation.

It might be that you need to “speak” to someone to explain how you really feel about a situation but face-to-face you can never find the right words or the right moment. If you find yourself in this situation, you could write an “unsent letter.” This technique is also powerful for those who have suffered a loss and are grieving. Use your journal to write openly and honestly to the person on your mind and allow yourself to “speak” freely with out the fear of offending them or suffering any repercussions. It is a liberating experience! Trust me, I’ve written several “unsent letters,” especially over the last couple of years.

You can also journal about specific events that might either be the best or worst moments of your life. By writing about it, telling its story, it could offer you a different perspective on things so that, especially if it is a negative memory that you are reliving in your journal, that it becomes a chapter in the story of your life rather than the controlling narrative.

One of my personal favourite techniques is gratitude journalling. This is one that I practice at the end of every day before I head upstairs to bed. It’s a simple technique. You can buy specific gratitude journals but any notebook will do. For my daily practice, I write one sentence about three or four small moments from the day that I am grateful for. It could be something small like hearing your favourite song on the radio or on your playlist or the taste of your first cup of coffee of the day. Simple moments that made you smile. I also note down three or four things that I am looking forward to. Again, don’t over think it and keep it simple. These techniques only take a few minutes and can help you to find a few moments of light even on the darkest of days.

So, the next time a notebook catches your eye online or on a shelf in a shop, buy it.

If a novelty pen or sparkly pen, catches your eye and makes you smile, buy it. The combine the two with words from your heart.

You’ll feel the better of it.

The Measly Jar of Motivation – Ginger Tea (500 word flash fiction)

Wrapping her woollen shawl tighter around her, she bent into the wind as she hurried up the path that led to the row of fishermen’s cottages. It was a clear crisp early spring day and small white clouds were scudding across the blue sky. Despite the beauty of the day around her, she felt weak and ill as she headed towards the last cottage in the row of five. Wood smoke was spiralling from its chimney, a clear sign that Mamm-Wynn Honour was at home.

As she eased it open, the wooden gate protested noisily, its screech disturbing the   brown hens that were scratching around in the grass for corn.

“Mamm-Wynn?” called the young woman as she knocked on the door.

“Come in, child,” came the reply. “I’ve been expecting you.”

A welcoming warmth wrapped itself around the young woman as she entered the cottage. When the cottages had been built, the last one had been built with a different internal configuration. Instead of two rooms downstairs, it had one large room that served as kitchen and living room. Over the past thirty years, Mamm-Wynn Honour had raised four sons in the small cottage and the large wooden table had seen many a family meal. A broad ladder against the far wall led up to two tiny attic bedrooms. A black cat lay on the bottom tread keeping a watchful eye on the room.

“Sit down, child,” invited the elderly woman was standing by the fire, stirring a small kettle that was hanging over it. “Your tea is almost brewed.”

“My tea?” echoed the young woman, taking a seat on a low wooden stool.

“Yes. Ginger tea. It’ll help with the sickness if you drink it first thing in the morning,” replied Mamm-Wynn Honour. “It just needs another minute or two over the flames.”

“How did you know? I’ve not breathed a word to a soul!”

“There’s not much goes on in the village that I don’t know or sense.”

“I’ve not even told Simon yet….”

Fetching a cup from the shelf beside the fireplace, the old woman poured the fragrant steaming tea into a small cup and handed it to the girl.

“Careful, child. It’s hot.”

“Thank you,” said the young woman accepting the cup. “Will it really help with the sickness? I’ve barely been able to eat for two weeks I’ve been so sick. My father wanted to send for the doctor but my mamm said not to waste his money and that I was to come and see you. She said that you’d know what to do. Did she speak to you?”

“No, child.”

“Then how?” asked the young woman.

“Mamm-Wynn just knows,” said the pillar with a wink. “The babe will be born at the winter solstice. You’ll give birth to a healthy son.”

“I will?”

“Mamm-Wynn is never wrong about these things, child. Now drink that while I pour the rest into a jar for you fetch some eggs to take home to your mamm.”

Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner

Silently Watching at Samhain

Autumn had encroached on the beach hut bringing with it darker nights that made hunting easier for Trine and Jem. The demand for blood for Luna was steadily increasing as the baby flourished. Despite pleas from Stefan to come to the castle earlier than they had planned, the new parents stood their ground. They celebrated Luna’s first birthday quietly as a family of three.

Inside the beach hut, Trine was busy packing for their return to the castle in time for the annual Samhain masquerade ball. While she was debating which clothes to pack for their daughter and which toys to take, Jem was outside preparing the hut for the coming winter, protecting it as best he could from the inevitable winter storms.

Up in the trees to the east of the hut sat a huge black crow. Occasionally Jem’s eyes would be drawn to the bird. His sixth sense was twitching. Was that bird connected to Anna? Was it a messenger? Was it her?

The next time he looked over, the bird was gone.

“Trine?! Called out Jem as he entered the hut, stamping mud off his boots onto the coir mat.

“Downstairs!”

“I think we should leave tonight.”

Footsteps echoed on the stairs as Trine ran up to face him.

“Tonight? But we’re not due to leave for another few days.”

“I know but I think we should leave tonight. That damn crow was hanging about again,” replied Jem. “I know it has something to do with Anna. I think we should bring our plans forward and leave tonight.”

Trine nodded her silent agreement to his plan then reluctantly admitted, “I’ve seen it lurking about too.”

“Can you be ready to leave as soon as it gets dark?”

“Yes.”

Downstairs in the nursery, Luna was sitting in her cot playing with her favourite rag doll and her bedtime bunny, with the long white ears. Neither toy was ever very far away from the little girl. A movement in the air, made her look up. Wide eyes, she watched as it shimmered into the shape of a lady with wings like her parent then it seemed to disappear, leaving a small shower of bubbles floating in the air. In her tiny hands, Luna felt her doll move and for a moment it seemed to change shape. Startled, Luna dropped it and stared down at it suspiciously as she sucked on her bunny’s ear.

A couple of hours later, they were packed and ready to leave. With Luna snuggled into a warm snowsuit with matching woollen hat and mittens, Trine prepared to transport herself and their daughter while Jem would follow with their bags.

“You packed Luna’s doll and her rabbit?” checked Jem, looking round to make sure that they hadn’t forgotten anything vital.

“She’s holding the rabbit,” replied Trine. “I stuffed the doll in the outside pocket of the backpack.”

“If we’ve forgotten anything, we can always come back for it, I guess,” he replied, lifting their bags. “Time to leave.”

Less than a minute after Trine and Luna, Jem touched down in their suite of rooms in the castle.  A chill seeped into them almost instantly. There was no fire in the hearth, and the rooms weren’t ready for them.

“We should have messaged Meryn,” commented Trine with a shiver. “It’s freezing in here!”

“I didn’t want to take any extra risks,” replied Jem. “I’m convinced Anna has been watching us. I’m hoping that we’ve thrown her off the scent by coming here early.”

“She’d never follow us back here!” Trine exclaimed. “Would she?”

Jem shrugged, “Who knows.”

“Let’s go and find my father and your mother,” suggested Trine, passing Luna to him. “I’m fairly sure we’ll find them both together in his study.”

A huge fire was blazing in the hearth in Stefan’s study when the family walked in but instead of Stefan and Meryn, they found Stefan and Alessandro engrossed in a game of chess.

“Who’s winning?” asked Trine softly.

“Alessandro,” muttered Stefan without looking up then realising who had spoken exclaimed, “Trine! I wasn’t expecting you for another three days.”

“Clearly,” laughed Trine as she moved to hug her father. “Our rooms aren’t ready and they’re freezing cold!”

“I’ll get that sorted,” promised Alessandro as he made one final chess move. “I believe that is checkmate, Stefan.”

“Tomorrow,” stated Stefan, his frustration evident. “I’ll beat you tomorrow, Alessandro.”

“If you say so,” laughed the Italian vampire as he got to his feet. “Lovely to see you again, Trine, Jem. I’ll get your rooms readied and have some supper and more wine sent up. Do you need anything for Signorina Luna?”

“Some blood infused milk would be wonderful, Alessandro,” replied Trine warmly.

He nodded then slipped out of the room leaving the family to their reunion.

“Where’s my mother?” enquired Jem. “Thought she’d be here with you.”

“Most likely in the infirmary,” replied Stefan reaching out to take Luna from Jem’s arms. “She’s in the final phase of training four new healers. She’ll be up shortly. We usually meet for a late glass of wine.”

“So, what else has been happening around here?” asked Trine, taking the seat by the fire vacated by Alessandro.

“Only preparations for the Samhain Ball,” replied Stefan. “The great hall is almost ready. The staff have been decorating it for over a week. Our guests are due to start arriving tomorrow night. Almost no one declined this year. Everyone is keen to see Luna.”

“Did Meryn arrange our costumes?” asked Trine, smiling at the sight of her daughter contentedly snuggling into Stefan’s shoulder.

“I believe so. She was most secretive about them.”

“Trine has been the same,” muttered Jem. “Not sure if I should be worried or not.”

Retaking his seat and balancing Luna on his knee, Stefan asked, “Has there been any sign of the dark angel?”

“Not since we strengthened the protection on the house,” replied Trine. “At least not as far as we can tell. There’s been nothing unusual.”

“Apart from that huge fucking crow hanging about,” Jem pointed out. “I have my concerns about that bird.”

“We live near woodland that’s full of crows, Jem,” pointed out Trine bluntly.

Before they could continue their conversation, two servants arrived with their supper and Luna’s bottle. A third followed with two fresh decanters of blood infused wine.

“Master Jeremiah, Mistress Meryn says that you have to drink from the decanted with the raven on it,” explained the servant with a bow.

“Why?” challenged Jem.

“Mistress Meryn never said.”

At that moment, his mother swept into the room, her skirts billowing out behind her.

“Because I said so, Jeremiah,” she stated bluntly. “Merely a precaution.”

“One glass, mother,” proposed Jem, feeling to weary to argue with her.

“Two.”

“Fine.”

“Now, tell me why you’ve surprised us all by arriving three days early?” quizzed Meryn taking a seat on the couch facing the fireplace.

“My sixth sense told me we need to,” revealed Jem calmly.

“Does this have anything to do with the crow that you mentioned?” checked Stefan, passing Luna over to Meryn who had already lifted the baby’s bottle in preparation for feeding her.

Jem shrugged his slender shoulders, “Maybe. I can’t shake the feeling that it has something to do with Anna.”

“You could be right,” Meryn agreed as she settled her granddaughter on her lap. “Is this young lady walking yet?”

“Almost,” said Trine. “She’d rather crawl then pull herself up onto her feet.”

“Good,” stated Meryn. “Suggests that she’ll take her first steps while you are here. At least one major milestone we won’t miss.”

“Not tonight she won’t,” laughed Jem, brushing off the not-so-subtle jibe about missing Luna’s first birthday. In Meryn’s arms, the little girl was almost asleep.

“No rush,” agreed Meryn, gazing down at the little girl. “I can feel her magic in her.”

“Not yet,” whispered Trine.

“You can’t ignore it, and she mustn’t be untrained,” cautioned the older woman. “Not even at this tender age.”

When they returned to their rooms, both Trine and Jem were relieved to find that the rooms were warm and well-lit. Carefully, Jem laid their sleeping daughter down in her crib and snuggled the soft blankets round her. He placed her doll and her bunny either side of her then gently kissed her head.

“Sweet dreams, princess.”

In her sleep, the little girl reached out and pulled her toys into her arms.

Next afternoon, while he was walking the ramparts, Jem heard the familiar command in his mind.

“My study now. Come alone.”

“On my way, mother,” he replied telepathically.

His mother’s study was noticeably tidier than usual. Gone were the piles and piles of books and documents that were usually littering her large desk, all returned to their rightful places on the shelves. The desk was neat and organised.

“What happened in here?” asked Jem as he perched on the edge of the desk and gazed round the room. “It isn’t chaos.”

“I lost something,” admitted Meryn slightly sheepishly.

“I’m more surprised you ever found anything,” laughed Jem.

“Very funny. I lost something I needed urgently. The quickest way to find it was a spell to put everything back in its rightful place. I’d tried a summoning spell, but it failed.”

“And when did this happen?”

“About an hour ago,” revealed Meryn. “But it worked. I found the book we need.”

“We?”

“Yes. It’s a book on to teach children under five about their magic,” Meryn replied. “You and Trine need it to help Luna.”

“No,” stated Jem firmly. “She’s only a baby.”

Taking a deep breath before replying, Meryn asked, “And are toys mysteriously moving on their own in her nursery? Are things turning up in unusual places? Has Luna herself turned up in a different place?”

Jem nodded, “Maybe you’re right but Trine won’t hear of it. We talked about this after you left. She says Luna is still too young.”

“And what do you think?”

“I don’t know…”

“Now is not the time for “don’t knows”, Jeremiah!” snapped his mother. “You need to teach Luna the basics just as much as you need to teach her to walk, feed herself, talk, read, write…”

“OK, I hear you,” he interrupted, not feeling in the mood to argue with his mother. In his heart, he knew she was right. “How do I teach her?”

“Pour us some wince and join me at the desk. We’ll look at this together,” suggested Meryn warmly. “It won’t be as hard as you think.”

On the eve of the Samhain Ball, the castle was a hive of activity. Last minute guests were still arriving, and the servants and footmen were kept busy preparing meals for everyone. The final preparations for the ball itself were taking priority over everything else. Once the final guests arrived, Stefan ordered that the castle be sealed from the outside world for forty-eight hours. With the dark angel still on the loose, he didn’t want to take any unnecessary risks with his guests’ safety.

While he was waiting for Trine to get ready to go to Stefan’s suite for supper, Jem sat on the floor playing with Luna. A pile of soft cubes lay scattered in front of the little girl. Every time Jem built them into a tower, she would knock them over, giggling as she did so.

“Your turn, princess,” said Jem, Handing her two of the cubes. “You build a tower, and I’ll knock it down.”

The little girl stared at him and shook her head.

“Come on. You can do it,” he encouraged.

Luna stared at him then clapped her hands together as she muttered some unintelligible baby babble.

The four cubes piled themselves up neatly.

Trying his best to disguise his surprise, Jem toppled the tower.

Before he could ask Luna to rebuild it, the four blocks were stacked again.

“Show off,” teased Jem, amazed at his tiny daughter’s magical ability. “Wait until your mummy sees this trick.”

“Sees what trick?” asked Trine appearing beside them.

“Luna, build a tower for mummy to knock down,” instructed Jem.

Again, the little girl clapped her hands as she repeated her babbling.

The four colourful cubes stacked themselves in a tower.

“Who taught her how to do that?” whispered Trine before adding, “Clever girl, Luna.”

“Not me.”

“Nor me,” replied Trine, her concern evident in her voice. “Let’s take those blocks with us and she can show her grandparents.”

A couple of hours alter after they had enjoyed their family supper, Jem sat Luna down on the rug in front of the fire with the four soft cubes. He built the first couple of towers, laughing with his daughter as she knocked them down.

“Your turn,” he said encouragingly. “You build a tower for Mamm-wynn.”

The little girl looked round at her grandmother then at her mother.

“Go on,” encouraged Jem softly.

A little hesitantly, the little girl clapped her hands as she babbled to herself. The blocks stacked themselves in a wobbly tower that fell the second Meryn touched it.

“Clever girl,” praised Meryn, beaming a proud smile at her granddaughter. “Which one of you taught her that?”

“Neither of us,” replied Trine. “Did you?”

“No,” said Meryn quietly.

Looking concerned, Stefan simply asked, “Who then? Or did the child know it instinctively?”

“I’d be surprised if that’s instinctive magic,” commented Meryn seriously. “Someone has to have taught her how to do that.”

The four adults sat staring at each other as Luna innocently cast her spell to stack her cubes once more. None of them dared to voice the thought that they were all sharing.

All thoughts of magic and toys were swept aside next day as everyone in the castle focused on the Samhain Ball. Costumes for the event were taken seriously. Details of each guest’s costume had to be submitted to the head of the household staff in advance to ensure that there was no duplication. The list was a closely guarded secret and not even Stefan was privy to it.

This year, Trine had decided to attend as the Frost Queen while Jem, with his rich brown earth tone wings, had been persuaded to dress as The Green Man, a character that suited him perfectly given his love of forests and the moors behind their home. Deciding on Luna’s costume had been more difficult as there were seldom children in attendance but eventually Trine decided that the little girl could go as a snowflake, to compliment her own costume.

When it came time to leave their chambers to go down to the great hall. Luna refused to let go of her rag doll. Every time either Jem or Trine tried to take it from her, she shouted, “No!”

“Let her take it with her,” said Jem calmly. “It’s not going to do any harm. It might help to keep her quiet.”

“I guess,” relented Trine, eyeing the doll that her daughter was clutching tightly to her chest. “Fine. The doll comes too. If she loses it, we can always cast a quick locating spell.”

“Exactly,” agreed Jem, shaking out his green layered cloak. “I feel like a walking tree in this.”

“That’s the whole idea,” laughed Trine, kissing him lightly on the cheek. “You are the Green Man after all.”

The buzz of conversation, music and laughter filled the castle’s great hall. A kaleidoscope of colourful costumes greeted the small family as they entered. Both of them had agreed that Luna was too young to wear a theatrical mask, so Trine had decorated the little girl’s cheeks with silver glittery stars as a token gesture. With their own masks in place, Jem led them into the heart of the room. Some of the guests were easier to identify than others and as they worked their way round in search of Meryn, they paused to exchange a few words with every guest. With Luna in her arms, Trine’s identity was instantly revealed. Jem, however, had more success in mingling among the crowd unrecognised.

Eventually, they found Meryn in one of the hall’s many alcoves deep in conversation with a vampire dressed as the devil. As soon as they heard the devil’s voice, Jem recognised him as the French vampire Jean-Claude.

“Ah, Mademoiselle Luna!” he exclaimed theatrically. “Such a beautiful baby. She has her mama’s eyes.”

“Merci, Jean-Claude,” replied Trine. Blushing slightly at his French charm. “Lovely to see you again. Did you convince your wife to travel with you this year?”

“Oui. Amelie is over by the fireplace.”

“I’ll go and find her,” said Trine as Luna began to squirm in her arms.

Stepping forward, Meryn, who was dressed as the night sky in midnight blue velvet speckled with silver to represent the stars, said, “Let me take her for a while. Go and mingle. I’ll happily use her as an excuse to stay here.”

“Thank you,” said Jem lifting his wriggling daughter from Trine’s arms and passing her to his mother. As he lifted her, the little girl dropped her rag doll.

The doll landed on the floor and appeared to shimmer for a moment as Luna let out a wail and began to reach for her fallen doll.

“Voila!” said Jean-Claude as he reached down and retrieved the doll before presenting it back to Luna.

“Thanks,” said Jem, smiling behind his mask. “She’s bound to lose that doll before the night is over.”

“I’ll keep them both safe,” promised Meryn. “Go and have fun. Dance with Trine. Let your hair down.”

“I don’t dance,” muttered Jem, eyeing the crowded dancefloor with suspicion.

“One dance,” begged Trine. “Just one.”

“Fine. If I must.”

From an alcove at the far side of the room, the dark angel, disguised as Oya, the Yoruba goddess of storms and transformation, scanned the room, her eyes swiftly landing on Jem. She had taken great care to alter her appearance under her elaborate deep red and purple costume. Quietly she prayed that she had done enough to make herself unrecognisable. The one guest who posed the greatest risk to her was the runner. If he sensed the presence of his sire, she wasn’t sure what he would do. It was a risk worth taking to enjoy a couple of hours of fun.

Adjusting her mask and gently swishing the horsehair whip by her side, Anna made her way round the room, helping herself to several goblets of the blood infused wine being freely offered to the guests by an army of servers. Mingling among the guests gave her a much-needed sense of normality. If life had taken a different path, this could have been her reality.

One of the guests, who had come as the Norse god Odin, complete with two live ravens, reached out to touch her arm.

“Care to dance?” he asked, grinning behind his one-eyed mask.

For a moment, Anna was tempted to decline but it had been over a century since she had last danced at a ball.

“I’d be delighted to,” she heard herself say in an unfamiliar voice as she allowed Odin to steer her towards the dancefloor.

The court musicians were playing a waltz as Odin slipped his hand around her slender waist. Allowing herself to get swept up in the moment, Anna was shoulder to shoulder with Jem before she realised it. Holding her breath for fear of being discovered, she watched him tense up for a moment then continue his awkward dance with Trine. As they waltzed away, Anna allowed herself to relax a little in Odin’s arms and to enjoy the rest of the dance.

When the dance was over, Odin thanked her then offered to fetch her some wine. Declining politely, Anna stepped away into the crowd of guests then kept to the shadows at the edge of the room until she had worked her way back round to where Meryn was sitting with a sleeping Luna on her lap.

“The doll? Where was the doll?” thought the dark angel, trying not to panic.

There was no sign of the rag doll in the sleeping child’s arms. If she couldn’t find the doll, Anna knew she could be in trouble. Just as she was beginning to think that she would need to try to find the family’s chambers and hide there, she spotted the dol lying on the floor in the folds of Meryn’s gown.

Looking up, she saw that Trine and Jem were walking straight towards her. Cursing herself for taking such risks, Anna whispered the incantation she had devised and disappeared.

On the floor, the doll shimmered unseen in the dark folds of material.

Carrying two goblets of wine, one for himself and one for his mother, Jem reached Meryn first. His eyes were momentarily drawn to something sparkling near the floor, but he dismissed it as one of the lights catching the glittering gems at the hem of his mother’s dress.

“Wine, mother?” he asked, offering out one of the goblets.

“Thank you,” said Meryn accepting the goblet gratefully. “This little angel fell asleep not long after you left us.”

“I really should take her back upstairs,” said Trine as she moved to stand with her back to the wall beside Meryn. “My father was asking where you were hiding. I think he is hoping to dance with you.”

“I’m fine here,” stated Meryn with a smile. “I never was a fan of these fancy balls.”

“What was it you said to me a short while ago?” mused Jem with a mischievous glint in his dark brown eyes. “Go and have some fun? Dance? Let my hair down?”

“Touche,” laughed his mother realising that she had been cornered. “I suppose I could spare Stefan one dance.”

“I think you’ll spare him more than one,” said Jem with a wink. He drained his wine and set the empty goblet on a nearby low table then reached to take his sleeping daughter into his arms.

“Where’s her doll?” asked Trine, knowing there would be hell to pay if the doll got lost.

“It was here earlier,” recalled Meryn. “We were playing with it before she fell asleep.”

Spotting the doll lying on the floor, Trine cried, “There it is! She must have dropped it when she fell asleep.”

“Ready to escape?” asked Jem hopefully.

Trine nodded.

Once back in their chambers, Jem had laid his sleeping daughter down in her crib. The little girl stirred and opened her eyes.

“Sh, princess,” whispered Jem. “Back to sleep.”

The little girl, more asleep than awake, reached out as if she was searching for something.

“Doll,” said Jem turning to Trine and pointing to the doll that was still tucked under her arm.

She tossed the small doll over to him. Swiftly, he placed it beside Luna then pulled her soft blanket round her. The little girl wriggled onto her side then curled up around the doll. As he went to step away, Jem heard Luna whisper one word.

“Anna.”

Several Pairs of Feet and a Lot of Brown Hens….

Over thirty-five years ago I read a book by Barbara Erskine called Lady of Hay. I still have that copy of it. That book sparked a lifelong interest in regression and past lives.

Is this really our first life? Is it our only life? What about all those déjà vu moments? Were there other lives?

At the time, in the late 1980’s, I remember telling my mum that I would love to be regressed but that was pre-internet, and it was difficult to track down a therapist via the Yellow Pages. Plus, would I really trust a total stranger to do that kind of therapy with me even if I did fine one?

The thought floated through many times over the years, but I never acted on it until now.

If you are a total cynic about past lives, re-incarnation and the like, you might want to stop reading here and come back next week.

Still with me?….

A couple of weeks ago while I was scrolling through Facebook, I spotted a post from a friend celebrating her success with two recent training courses. There was a lovely smiling photo of her with her two certificates. Two words on once of the certificates caught my eye. I zoomed in – past lives.

Ok so now you see where this is going….

After a quick telephone chat with the lovely lady herself, I made an appointment for a past lives’ hypnotherapy session.

If you Google past life regression therapy or past lives’ hypnotherapy you get an AI overview that explains “it’s a hypnotherapy technique that guides a person to access supposed memories of past lives to resolve current issues.”

I wasn’t going into this with the naïve expectation of learning that I’d been a princess living a fairy tale life or been a famous author or anything overly specific. Ok I might have been curious to learn if I’d been tried and hanged as a witch. (None of my close friends would have been surprised if that was the case!)

I didn’t go into the session itself with any expectations. I went in with an open mind.

What followed was the most amazing and surprisingly relaxing ninety minutes or so.

It would be unfair of me to go into too many specifics of the session here. (It might also make for a boring read if I relived it chapter and verse here and now.) Instead, I’ll cover the salient points that I feel comfortable to share.

I’ve never experienced any form of hypnosis before and that was perhaps the part I was a little anxious about. I needn’t have worried. That part was incredibly pretty and relaxing and led to me visualising a dark night sky (although my night sky was a colour I refer to as Reiki purple.) criss-crossed with a web of silver silky cords.

In my mind’s eye, with the therapist’s gentle encouragement, I chose one to follow and picked it up. Over the course of the session, I was encouraged at points to let go of the cord and “drop into” that life, starting each time by looking at my feet.

I saw several pairs of feet. The first pair were crammed into shoes that were too tight. I could actually feel my feet being squashed even though in my current life they were encased in a comfortable pair of Converse. Next were bare feet belonging to a girl of about twelve or thirteen. Men’s brown leather lace up shoes followed then it was back to bare feet. These bare feet belonged to a little boy about eight years old and they were filthy! Emerald green silk shoes followed on, and the final pair of feet were in well-worn black leather shoes.

Each time I got a sense of the lifetime that those feet led rather than feeling that I was in that lifetime. In the brown leather lace up shoes’ life, I was in a printshop with a huge old-fashioned printing press surrounded by piles of paper. I could smell the ink.

The lifetime with the emerald green silk shoes was the one that made me feel uncomfortable. That woman had led a life dominated by a controlling husband and was sad and lonely.

The final pair of feet in the comfortable black leather shoes provided the most vivid images of the session. I was asked to describe what I could see at one point. My reply almost made the therapist giggle. “Chickens. Brown hens everywhere. I like the eggs, but the hens are a nuisance!”

In future blogs or short stories, I may reveal more details of the lives each of those pairs of feet led but for now it feels right to keep most of that private.

The session did give me an insight into where one fear I have may have come from. I don’t like the dark. I get quite scared if I have to walk into a dark room or an unlit hallway. I’m fine outdoors in the dark. It’s indoors darkness that scares me and I’ve never known why.  The little boy with the dirty bare feet shared the same fear.

Several of the pairs of feet lived in coastal areas so perhaps that explains my love of being near water and needing to see an expanse of water on a regular basis. I could never live inland.

The therapist had assured me before we said goodbye that I wouldn’t take any of these past lives with me when I left. The past stays in the past. But, as I drove home, I couldn’t shake the image of the cottage with all of those brown hens in front of it.

When I went to my refrigerator to get something out to cook for dinner, I went to pick up the packet of chicken breasts and paused… It ended up being pasta for dinner. I just couldn’t face potentially cooking one of those pesky brown hens!

If any local friends want to experience their own past lives’ hypnotherapy session please reach out to

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086909415191

(Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner – no watermark on image)

King Ragnar Lothbrok… and an unfortunate accident.

Many of you who follow this blog and those of you who know me personally know that I am an aspiring crazy cat lady. Various furry babies have spent their lives with me and currently I have two Maine Coon/Siberian crosses- King Ragnar Lothbrok and his younger brother Athelstan, affectionately known as the Kitty Kray twins.

Just over eight weeks ago, I came scarily close to losing Ragnar. I thought about writing about it when it happened, but the timing felt off so I decided to wait.

Friday 15th August started out like any other Friday around here. I’d fed my furry babies when I got up, unlocked the cat flap and let them out to play for the day without a second thought.

Shortly after 10am, my doorbell rang. It was a neighbour to tell me that her teenage son had “clipped” a cat on the hill that leads up to where I live and that she thought it was one of mine.

It was. It was Ragnar.

She drove me the half mile down to where her son and husband were standing guard over my terrified injured boy. Taking her at her word that the car had just clipped him, I initially assumed that his injuries were the facial ones that I could see. His mouth was bleeding and one eye was closing.

Ragnar’s not the biggest fan of strangers and he hates being in the car so when I was offered a lift home with him, having weighed up the risks, I politely declined saying that as long as he would let me pick him up that I would carry him home and take him to the vet.

Had I realised at that point how badly injured he actually was, I wouldn’t have lifted him and carried him any distance in my arms but adrenaline, fear, shock, anxiety were all playing their part and clouding my judgement.

My brave boy let me carry him – all 6.5kg of him – slowly and steadily up the hill. He was making horrible rasping growling noises. As I walked, I spoke softly to him, reassuring myself as much as him.

When I was almost at the top, another neighbour stopped in a car and offered to help. I explained what had happened, politely declined and kept walking.

By this point, as I held Ragnar in my arms, I had realised that something didn’t feel right with his back end, but I knew I had to get him home so slowly and steadily I kept going.

When I turned into our street, his patience ran out, and he launched a frenzied attack   clawing and biting down into my arm multiple times. Despite my own pain, I knew had to keep going but about 30m from the house, I gave in and gently sat him on the pavement, realising that it was too dangerous for both of us to keep going.

My poor boy was still terrified and obviously in agony, but he was now also uber aggressive. My heart was pounding. I was almost as terrified as the cat, but I knew that somehow, I had to pick him up and get him home.

The neighbour who had stopped a few moments before was still in the car in her driveway. I waved over and shouted to her for help, asking her to go into my house and grab a towel from the kitchen.

While she did that, I quickly messaged Boy Child, who was at the gym, explaining that Ragnar had been in an accident and was badly hurt and needed to get to the vet.

Once I got a towel round Ragnar, I felt brave enough to risk picking him up again. Never have I willingly approached such an aggressive cat to lift it into my arms but in my heart, I knew I had no other option. I had to get him home to get him proper help.

We made it!

I carried him straight through to the conservatory, sat him on the couch and closed the door to stop his furry brother from going near him. With my boy in as safe place, I paused to do three things – I phoned the vet to say we’d be there shortly, I cleaned the blood off my arm to assess the extent of the damage( It wasn’t pretty but wasn’t as bad as I’d feared) and I fetched the cat carrier down from the loft. In the midst of all of this Boy Child phoned for more details of what had happened and to say he was on his way.

When I went back into the conservatory, Ragnar’s condition had visibly deteriorated. Carefully, I lifted him into the box and put the top back on. Boy Child arrived a couple of minutes later and we headed straight to the vet’s, leaving Athelstan staring after us.

We were at our local vet’s about 45 minutes after I had been notified of Ragnar’s accident. I honestly don’t think we could have got there much quicker.

The vet immediately whisked Ragnar away, leaving us in the waiting room. I was still bleeding and had to ask the receptionist if she had any antiseptic wipes. A few minutes later, we were called through into one of the consulting rooms where the vet broke the new to us that my beautiful boy was in a bad way… a very bad way. I’d already told them that he was insured but she asked me to double check how much he was insured for which is never a good sign.

They had stabilised him and taken some x-rays which had revealed that his pelvis was fractured in five places and that his lower jaw was broken. The extent of his injuries meant that he needed urgent specialist care. I said to the vet to do whatever she needed to do to save my boy.

She came back a short while alter to say that the usual specialist team that they referred cases to wasn’t accepting any critical care patients and couldn’t take him.  Fearing the worst, I asked what that actually meant for Ragnar.

The vet was honest with us and explained that if she couldn’t find an alternative specialist then she would need to put him to sleep.

That almost broke me.

In the past two years we’ve lost three fur babies plus The Big Green Gummi Bear. There’s been far too much loss….

Boy Child and I waited largely in silence for what felt like an eternity.

I couldn’t lose my boy… I got Ragnar as a three-month-old kitten five days after The Big Green Gummi Bear passed away. A crazy time to bring a kitten into the house but Ragnar got me through many dark days, and I didn’t want to fail him when he needed me.

Eventually, the vet returned. She had found a specialist care facility who could take him if we could get him there by three o’clock. It was almost one o’clock and it would be a seventy-mile journey. Without hesitation I told her we’d take him wherever we needed to in order save his life.

A few minutes later, we were on our way. I sat in the back seat beside the cat carrier. My poor baby was spaced out on morphine, ketamine and Lord knows what else. Every now and then he would put his paw out through the grill at the front of the cat box as if to say, “Mummy, hold my hand, I’m scared.”

We reached the specialist vet’s around 2:45pm. Whew! We’d made it on time. Right from the off, we received world class care from the staff. A plan was agreed with the vet who admitted him to their ICU. It was agreed that they would fix his jaw fracture that day then monitor him in ICU over the weekend before operating on his smashed pelvis on the Monday. They assured us he would be kept pain free over the weekend and that I would be given regular updates.

Leaving him alone and broken with strangers was hard but I left reassured that he would get the best of care. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he was in the place that would give him the best chance of a good recovery.

It was a long weekend…

Monday was a long day. I spoke to vet who was going to operate first thing on Monday, and she explained the surgical plan for the day. She planned to put a screw in one side to pin the pelvis at that side to Ragnar’s sacrum. At the other side where the damage was worse, she proposed to plate and pin the top part of his pelvis but as the socket for his hip joint had been destroyed, she would also need to remove the  head of his femur to allow the leg to sit in the correct position and give him the best chance of good use of it. The vet estimated that it would take her five hours in theatre.

My boy is a warrior. He sailed through the surgery, thanks largely to skill of the veterinary team. The vet did apologise that they had had to shave quite a lot of his fur off and that once we got over the shock of seeing him, we would find his temporary look funny.

We collected him three days later and brought him home to begin his long road to recovery.  She wasn’t joking about Ragnar’s funky haircut! I was also amazed to discover he had striped skin!

He was to be on cage rest for at least eight weeks, when we would go back for his follow up appointment. Initially he came home with a feeding tube too as he wasn’t eating. I was shown how to tube feed him and care for the tube. It was removed by our local vet a week later- the first big step on his recovery journey.

Two weeks after that, he got the stitches removed- another big step forward. He’d lost over a kilo in weight since the accident and still wasn’t eating well so he was prescribed an appetite stimulant that I had to rub into his ear once a day for five days. It worked. We were back at the local vet for a weight check two weeks later and he’d put on 250g- another step forward.

Gradually as the days and weeks passed, Ragnar began to heal. He was allowed out of his “kitty jail” three or four times a day for ten minutes at a time under strict supervision- no jumping and no climbing.  Day by day we saw him slowly return to something closer to his usual wee self. The sparkle returned to his eyes.

Last week we took him back for his follow up appointment. He was to be sedated again to allow the vet to remove the temporary wire that had been fixating his jaw fracture and also to take a fresh set of x-rays. The good news when we collected him a few hours later was that everything is healing well. He was duly discharged from their care on the caveat that he be kept on partial cage rest for a further four weeks to allow the healing to continue and we were shown how to do some basic physio with him to help with the muscle wastage on the weaker side.

The worst is now behind him and it’s great to see him out of “kitty jail” during the day and sitting in his favourite spot again.

This whole experience has been life changing for not only Ragnar but for his younger brother, Athelstan and to a less extent Boy Child and me.  As a result of the extensive damage to the hip joint, Ragnas will need to be an indoor boy from now on. Since the day of the accident, his brother has been an indoor boy. I never want to go through another day like the day of the accident. Emotionally, I couldn’t cope with that again.

They are both young. Ragnar is just over two and his brother is eighteen months, so they’ll adjust to indoor living in time, I’m sure. The other local cats and wildlife will be breathing a sigh of relief.

The Big Green Gummi Bear was fond of saying “Actions have consequences” and that phrase has come to mind frequently over the past couple of months.

Yes, Ragnar is at fault as he ran out from the bushes into the road without doing his Green Cross Code and that has had life changing consequences for him.

Unlike dogs, cats have no legal rights so there are minimal consequences for any driver who is unfortunate enough to “clip” or hit a cat with their vehicle. That feels morally wrong to me.

So, if you’ve read this far, thank you for indulging me as I have gone on a bit. The moral of this story is that if your fur babies aren’t insured then you might want to reconsider this. Even if your fur babies are insured, you might want to double check the level of your cover. The vet bills for Ragnar’s care are in excess of £11 000. My pet insurance is a co-payment policy and that has covered 80% of the bill.

Ragnar will recover in time. He’s a warrior. He’s Viking!

How do I do it?…. a question from an indie author

The letters will fall into place to make words.

The words will group together to form sentences.

The sentences gather to form paragraphs.

The paragraphs will flourish and bloom into chapters.

Then the chapters will blossom into your book.

And it all began with a single letter…..

Horizontal (poem)

Gridlines set

Yellow indicator line there

Sunrise approaches

Yellow indicator lined up

Sunrise colours captured

Photos still not horizontal!

Focusing the mind’s eye

On the curvature of the horizon….

Grown (poem)

Tiny fingers and tiny toes

It doesn’t seem so long ago….

Now I look at you and smile

Proud of how you’ve grown

But in my heart, you still have

Those tiny fingers and tiny toes

(Image sourced via Google – credits to the owner)

Blue Beach Time (poem)

A sea of blue

Blue chairs

Blue umbrellas

Blue skies

Blue ocean

Blue aura

A sea of calm