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Several Pairs of Feet and a Lot of Brown Hens….

Over thirty-five years ago I read a book by Barbara Erskine called Lady of Hay. I still have that copy of it. That book sparked a lifelong interest in regression and past lives.

Is this really our first life? Is it our only life? What about all those déjà vu moments? Were there other lives?

At the time, in the late 1980’s, I remember telling my mum that I would love to be regressed but that was pre-internet, and it was difficult to track down a therapist via the Yellow Pages. Plus, would I really trust a total stranger to do that kind of therapy with me even if I did fine one?

The thought floated through many times over the years, but I never acted on it until now.

If you are a total cynic about past lives, re-incarnation and the like, you might want to stop reading here and come back next week.

Still with me?….

A couple of weeks ago while I was scrolling through Facebook, I spotted a post from a friend celebrating her success with two recent training courses. There was a lovely smiling photo of her with her two certificates. Two words on once of the certificates caught my eye. I zoomed in – past lives.

Ok so now you see where this is going….

After a quick telephone chat with the lovely lady herself, I made an appointment for a past lives’ hypnotherapy session.

If you Google past life regression therapy or past lives’ hypnotherapy you get an AI overview that explains “it’s a hypnotherapy technique that guides a person to access supposed memories of past lives to resolve current issues.”

I wasn’t going into this with the naïve expectation of learning that I’d been a princess living a fairy tale life or been a famous author or anything overly specific. Ok I might have been curious to learn if I’d been tried and hanged as a witch. (None of my close friends would have been surprised if that was the case!)

I didn’t go into the session itself with any expectations. I went in with an open mind.

What followed was the most amazing and surprisingly relaxing ninety minutes or so.

It would be unfair of me to go into too many specifics of the session here. (It might also make for a boring read if I relived it chapter and verse here and now.) Instead, I’ll cover the salient points that I feel comfortable to share.

I’ve never experienced any form of hypnosis before and that was perhaps the part I was a little anxious about. I needn’t have worried. That part was incredibly pretty and relaxing and led to me visualising a dark night sky (although my night sky was a colour I refer to as Reiki purple.) criss-crossed with a web of silver silky cords.

In my mind’s eye, with the therapist’s gentle encouragement, I chose one to follow and picked it up. Over the course of the session, I was encouraged at points to let go of the cord and “drop into” that life, starting each time by looking at my feet.

I saw several pairs of feet. The first pair were crammed into shoes that were too tight. I could actually feel my feet being squashed even though in my current life they were encased in a comfortable pair of Converse. Next were bare feet belonging to a girl of about twelve or thirteen. Men’s brown leather lace up shoes followed then it was back to bare feet. These bare feet belonged to a little boy about eight years old and they were filthy! Emerald green silk shoes followed on, and the final pair of feet were in well-worn black leather shoes.

Each time I got a sense of the lifetime that those feet led rather than feeling that I was in that lifetime. In the brown leather lace up shoes’ life, I was in a printshop with a huge old-fashioned printing press surrounded by piles of paper. I could smell the ink.

The lifetime with the emerald green silk shoes was the one that made me feel uncomfortable. That woman had led a life dominated by a controlling husband and was sad and lonely.

The final pair of feet in the comfortable black leather shoes provided the most vivid images of the session. I was asked to describe what I could see at one point. My reply almost made the therapist giggle. “Chickens. Brown hens everywhere. I like the eggs, but the hens are a nuisance!”

In future blogs or short stories, I may reveal more details of the lives each of those pairs of feet led but for now it feels right to keep most of that private.

The session did give me an insight into where one fear I have may have come from. I don’t like the dark. I get quite scared if I have to walk into a dark room or an unlit hallway. I’m fine outdoors in the dark. It’s indoors darkness that scares me and I’ve never known why.  The little boy with the dirty bare feet shared the same fear.

Several of the pairs of feet lived in coastal areas so perhaps that explains my love of being near water and needing to see an expanse of water on a regular basis. I could never live inland.

The therapist had assured me before we said goodbye that I wouldn’t take any of these past lives with me when I left. The past stays in the past. But, as I drove home, I couldn’t shake the image of the cottage with all of those brown hens in front of it.

When I went to my refrigerator to get something out to cook for dinner, I went to pick up the packet of chicken breasts and paused… It ended up being pasta for dinner. I just couldn’t face potentially cooking one of those pesky brown hens!

If any local friends want to experience their own past lives’ hypnotherapy session please reach out to

https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100086909415191

(Image sourced via Google- credits to the owner – no watermark on image)

King Ragnar Lothbrok… and an unfortunate accident.

Many of you who follow this blog and those of you who know me personally know that I am an aspiring crazy cat lady. Various furry babies have spent their lives with me and currently I have two Maine Coon/Siberian crosses- King Ragnar Lothbrok and his younger brother Athelstan, affectionately known as the Kitty Kray twins.

Just over eight weeks ago, I came scarily close to losing Ragnar. I thought about writing about it when it happened, but the timing felt off so I decided to wait.

Friday 15th August started out like any other Friday around here. I’d fed my furry babies when I got up, unlocked the cat flap and let them out to play for the day without a second thought.

Shortly after 10am, my doorbell rang. It was a neighbour to tell me that her teenage son had “clipped” a cat on the hill that leads up to where I live and that she thought it was one of mine.

It was. It was Ragnar.

She drove me the half mile down to where her son and husband were standing guard over my terrified injured boy. Taking her at her word that the car had just clipped him, I initially assumed that his injuries were the facial ones that I could see. His mouth was bleeding and one eye was closing.

Ragnar’s not the biggest fan of strangers and he hates being in the car so when I was offered a lift home with him, having weighed up the risks, I politely declined saying that as long as he would let me pick him up that I would carry him home and take him to the vet.

Had I realised at that point how badly injured he actually was, I wouldn’t have lifted him and carried him any distance in my arms but adrenaline, fear, shock, anxiety were all playing their part and clouding my judgement.

My brave boy let me carry him – all 6.5kg of him – slowly and steadily up the hill. He was making horrible rasping growling noises. As I walked, I spoke softly to him, reassuring myself as much as him.

When I was almost at the top, another neighbour stopped in a car and offered to help. I explained what had happened, politely declined and kept walking.

By this point, as I held Ragnar in my arms, I had realised that something didn’t feel right with his back end, but I knew I had to get him home so slowly and steadily I kept going.

When I turned into our street, his patience ran out, and he launched a frenzied attack   clawing and biting down into my arm multiple times. Despite my own pain, I knew had to keep going but about 30m from the house, I gave in and gently sat him on the pavement, realising that it was too dangerous for both of us to keep going.

My poor boy was still terrified and obviously in agony, but he was now also uber aggressive. My heart was pounding. I was almost as terrified as the cat, but I knew that somehow, I had to pick him up and get him home.

The neighbour who had stopped a few moments before was still in the car in her driveway. I waved over and shouted to her for help, asking her to go into my house and grab a towel from the kitchen.

While she did that, I quickly messaged Boy Child, who was at the gym, explaining that Ragnar had been in an accident and was badly hurt and needed to get to the vet.

Once I got a towel round Ragnar, I felt brave enough to risk picking him up again. Never have I willingly approached such an aggressive cat to lift it into my arms but in my heart, I knew I had no other option. I had to get him home to get him proper help.

We made it!

I carried him straight through to the conservatory, sat him on the couch and closed the door to stop his furry brother from going near him. With my boy in as safe place, I paused to do three things – I phoned the vet to say we’d be there shortly, I cleaned the blood off my arm to assess the extent of the damage( It wasn’t pretty but wasn’t as bad as I’d feared) and I fetched the cat carrier down from the loft. In the midst of all of this Boy Child phoned for more details of what had happened and to say he was on his way.

When I went back into the conservatory, Ragnar’s condition had visibly deteriorated. Carefully, I lifted him into the box and put the top back on. Boy Child arrived a couple of minutes later and we headed straight to the vet’s, leaving Athelstan staring after us.

We were at our local vet’s about 45 minutes after I had been notified of Ragnar’s accident. I honestly don’t think we could have got there much quicker.

The vet immediately whisked Ragnar away, leaving us in the waiting room. I was still bleeding and had to ask the receptionist if she had any antiseptic wipes. A few minutes later, we were called through into one of the consulting rooms where the vet broke the new to us that my beautiful boy was in a bad way… a very bad way. I’d already told them that he was insured but she asked me to double check how much he was insured for which is never a good sign.

They had stabilised him and taken some x-rays which had revealed that his pelvis was fractured in five places and that his lower jaw was broken. The extent of his injuries meant that he needed urgent specialist care. I said to the vet to do whatever she needed to do to save my boy.

She came back a short while alter to say that the usual specialist team that they referred cases to wasn’t accepting any critical care patients and couldn’t take him.  Fearing the worst, I asked what that actually meant for Ragnar.

The vet was honest with us and explained that if she couldn’t find an alternative specialist then she would need to put him to sleep.

That almost broke me.

In the past two years we’ve lost three fur babies plus The Big Green Gummi Bear. There’s been far too much loss….

Boy Child and I waited largely in silence for what felt like an eternity.

I couldn’t lose my boy… I got Ragnar as a three-month-old kitten five days after The Big Green Gummi Bear passed away. A crazy time to bring a kitten into the house but Ragnar got me through many dark days, and I didn’t want to fail him when he needed me.

Eventually, the vet returned. She had found a specialist care facility who could take him if we could get him there by three o’clock. It was almost one o’clock and it would be a seventy-mile journey. Without hesitation I told her we’d take him wherever we needed to in order save his life.

A few minutes later, we were on our way. I sat in the back seat beside the cat carrier. My poor baby was spaced out on morphine, ketamine and Lord knows what else. Every now and then he would put his paw out through the grill at the front of the cat box as if to say, “Mummy, hold my hand, I’m scared.”

We reached the specialist vet’s around 2:45pm. Whew! We’d made it on time. Right from the off, we received world class care from the staff. A plan was agreed with the vet who admitted him to their ICU. It was agreed that they would fix his jaw fracture that day then monitor him in ICU over the weekend before operating on his smashed pelvis on the Monday. They assured us he would be kept pain free over the weekend and that I would be given regular updates.

Leaving him alone and broken with strangers was hard but I left reassured that he would get the best of care. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but he was in the place that would give him the best chance of a good recovery.

It was a long weekend…

Monday was a long day. I spoke to vet who was going to operate first thing on Monday, and she explained the surgical plan for the day. She planned to put a screw in one side to pin the pelvis at that side to Ragnar’s sacrum. At the other side where the damage was worse, she proposed to plate and pin the top part of his pelvis but as the socket for his hip joint had been destroyed, she would also need to remove the  head of his femur to allow the leg to sit in the correct position and give him the best chance of good use of it. The vet estimated that it would take her five hours in theatre.

My boy is a warrior. He sailed through the surgery, thanks largely to skill of the veterinary team. The vet did apologise that they had had to shave quite a lot of his fur off and that once we got over the shock of seeing him, we would find his temporary look funny.

We collected him three days later and brought him home to begin his long road to recovery.  She wasn’t joking about Ragnar’s funky haircut! I was also amazed to discover he had striped skin!

He was to be on cage rest for at least eight weeks, when we would go back for his follow up appointment. Initially he came home with a feeding tube too as he wasn’t eating. I was shown how to tube feed him and care for the tube. It was removed by our local vet a week later- the first big step on his recovery journey.

Two weeks after that, he got the stitches removed- another big step forward. He’d lost over a kilo in weight since the accident and still wasn’t eating well so he was prescribed an appetite stimulant that I had to rub into his ear once a day for five days. It worked. We were back at the local vet for a weight check two weeks later and he’d put on 250g- another step forward.

Gradually as the days and weeks passed, Ragnar began to heal. He was allowed out of his “kitty jail” three or four times a day for ten minutes at a time under strict supervision- no jumping and no climbing.  Day by day we saw him slowly return to something closer to his usual wee self. The sparkle returned to his eyes.

Last week we took him back for his follow up appointment. He was to be sedated again to allow the vet to remove the temporary wire that had been fixating his jaw fracture and also to take a fresh set of x-rays. The good news when we collected him a few hours later was that everything is healing well. He was duly discharged from their care on the caveat that he be kept on partial cage rest for a further four weeks to allow the healing to continue and we were shown how to do some basic physio with him to help with the muscle wastage on the weaker side.

The worst is now behind him and it’s great to see him out of “kitty jail” during the day and sitting in his favourite spot again.

This whole experience has been life changing for not only Ragnar but for his younger brother, Athelstan and to a less extent Boy Child and me.  As a result of the extensive damage to the hip joint, Ragnas will need to be an indoor boy from now on. Since the day of the accident, his brother has been an indoor boy. I never want to go through another day like the day of the accident. Emotionally, I couldn’t cope with that again.

They are both young. Ragnar is just over two and his brother is eighteen months, so they’ll adjust to indoor living in time, I’m sure. The other local cats and wildlife will be breathing a sigh of relief.

The Big Green Gummi Bear was fond of saying “Actions have consequences” and that phrase has come to mind frequently over the past couple of months.

Yes, Ragnar is at fault as he ran out from the bushes into the road without doing his Green Cross Code and that has had life changing consequences for him.

Unlike dogs, cats have no legal rights so there are minimal consequences for any driver who is unfortunate enough to “clip” or hit a cat with their vehicle. That feels morally wrong to me.

So, if you’ve read this far, thank you for indulging me as I have gone on a bit. The moral of this story is that if your fur babies aren’t insured then you might want to reconsider this. Even if your fur babies are insured, you might want to double check the level of your cover. The vet bills for Ragnar’s care are in excess of £11 000. My pet insurance is a co-payment policy and that has covered 80% of the bill.

Ragnar will recover in time. He’s a warrior. He’s Viking!

How do I do it?…. a question from an indie author

The letters will fall into place to make words.

The words will group together to form sentences.

The sentences gather to form paragraphs.

The paragraphs will flourish and bloom into chapters.

Then the chapters will blossom into your book.

And it all began with a single letter…..

Horizontal (poem)

Gridlines set

Yellow indicator line there

Sunrise approaches

Yellow indicator lined up

Sunrise colours captured

Photos still not horizontal!

Focusing the mind’s eye

On the curvature of the horizon….

Grown (poem)

Tiny fingers and tiny toes

It doesn’t seem so long ago….

Now I look at you and smile

Proud of how you’ve grown

But in my heart, you still have

Those tiny fingers and tiny toes

(Image sourced via Google – credits to the owner)

Blue Beach Time (poem)

A sea of blue

Blue chairs

Blue umbrellas

Blue skies

Blue ocean

Blue aura

A sea of calm

Meet The Author 2025 – pt 3

A lotus flower

The last few years have been beyond challenging on a personal level and in a creative sense as time moved on I became further and further stuck in the mud and the words refused to flow freely. Now, over the past few months, the lotus blossom is slowly emerging from the mud and the words are beginning to flow. I’m hoping in time to see the lotus bloom in time🪷

I’ve thought about this one on and off all day. .. 🤔

I’ve always been open on my Author page and my blog about myself so it’s beyond difficult to think of something that I’ve not already shared

As its mental health awareness week, it feels right to say that my key coping mechanism is journaling. I’ve kept a daily diary since 1982 but over recent years have journaled extensively. Maybe one day I’ll share them with the world.

I get the most support from my friends and family. Without my Infamous Five I wouldn’t have got this far. I draw support from this Facebook author community and from the lovely reviews that are left online for my book babies. Those honest words help to fuel the fire of my creativity.

The dream would be to see my books on the shelves in bookstores.

For now the immediate dream is to get book baby 9 over the line. It’s getting there but it’s just taking more time than I’d like.

Oh…. 🤔

Respected, entertaining and heartfelt

As for where you can find more of my words….Amazon or here on my blog 😀

Summer This or That…just for fun

Beach or Pool?

Beach every time! Love the feel of the warm sand under my toes, the sound of the waves crashing ashore and the breeze off the ocean. Bliss!

Bookstore or Library?

Bookstore. I gave up going to the library a very long time ago because I ended up in the bookstore buying the books I’d borrowed and returned from the library. I need my own copies. I’m weird that way.

Ice Cream or Popsicles?

To be honest, I can live without either but I do enjoy the occasional vegan ice cream.

Sunset or Sunrise?

Ideally both. I’m greedy that way! I love the peace of a beach sunrise that promises a new day ahead. I also love the weary warmth of a beautiful sunset at the end of a perfect day.

Walks on the beach or Hikes in the mountains?

Walks on the beach. I love grounding myself with a walk along the beach. I love the feeling of the damp sand under my bare feet and the ocean waves gently lapping over my skin.

Ebook/Audiobook or Actual Book?

Ebook generally, especially if I’m travelling or sitting on the beach or outside in the sun. I love an actual book too but never ever an audiobook.

Get up early or Sleep in late?

Get up early, some mornings earlier than others. I’ve never been one for sleeping late unless I’m ill.

Fireworks or Fireflies?

I associate fireflies/lightning bugs with summer. I love to watch them flitting about at dusk whenever I get the chance. Fireworks mean Gut Fawkes Night and winter to me.

Sports or Concert?

No surprises with this answer – concert! I love my live music.

Bookmark or Dog Ear?

Bookmark…always bookmark. Readers who dog ear pages should be banned from bookstores and libraries for life!

Independence Day (acrostic poem)

Invitation to all to invade the beach

Not a square inch to spare

Decisions… Decisions about where to stop

Eventually settling on a sandy sunny spot

Preparations are key

Everything is set up just so

No tents allowed…sorry Mr Lifeguard

Duly noted, sir

Equilibrium restored

Now to soak up some sun

Charging my batteries

Emotionally restored

Daring to hope for a better life

Anxious about what my future holds

You have this under control, girl.

Silently Watching As The Rose Moon Wanes

Disregarding the risks, the dark angel landed lightly in front of her mausoleum. The previous enchantment that had held her captive there had long since been lifted but she still scanned the area for magical wards as a precautionary measure.

“Careless, Son of Perran,” she muttered under her breath. “Very careless.”

Once inside the tomb, Anna wove a seal around the entrance to keep her safe from prying eyes. With a click of her fingers, she lit the wall sconces, the flames instantly creating some flickering light and dancing shadows. Looking round, she saw that all of her hiding places had been discovered and most of her possessions taken, with the exception of the few things strewn across the floor.

With a sigh that reeked of melancholy, the dark angel sat down on the stone bench seat and drew her cloak around her. After the events of the past few months, she needed time and peace to think. She had fed before returning to her home but knew that the remnants of her meal would soon be discovered, limiting her time for contemplation. It had been a tempting thought to make her victim a vampire to give her some company, but she lacked the energy to nurture a fledgling and the patience to train one. Instead, she had left the fisherman’s body floating face down in the small, isolated loch. His passing resemblance to Jem was what had attracted her to him, his blood satisfying her thirst.

Reaching into the folds of her cloak, Anna pulled out a purple leatherbound book and smiled to herself. She had hidden her grimoire inside herself when she had first been captured. One swift spell had prevented it from falling into Meryn’s meddlesome hands. Over the years, she had worked hard to enhance the spells that were recorded in her mother’s grimoire, creating her own strain of dark magic. Now though, she had no one to pass that knowledge on to… except for Luna.

Gifting the baby her mother’s spell book had been a risk, a necessary risk. Eventually little Luna would grow up and inherit Meryn’s grimoire, Trine’s if she had one plus her own. Assuming the little girl worked on her own grimoire too, it would make Luna the most powerful vampire with magic powers that the world had ever seen.

Now all she needed to do was figure out a way to be involved in the little girl’s education.

On the eve of the summer solstice, Meryn prepared to take her leave. She had stayed on at the beach hut after Michael had departed to help Trine and Jem reinforce the enchantments around their home. The three vampires had combined their powers and created wards in the surrounding area that would trigger if a vampire or any creature capable of magic came near. They had even gone as far as creating protective wards out in the river. As a result, the beach hut was as impenetrable as Stefan’s castle.

“Do you need to go?” asked Trine quietly. “We’ve room. You could stay here for the summer with us.”

“And who would keep an eye on your father if I stayed?” laughed Meryn, reaching out to hug the younger woman. “We already agree that you would all winter with me. Come for Samhain. There are some lessons for you to learn that will help you to teach Luna the arts.”

“You are not teaching our daughter magic,” stated Jem firmly. He was holding Luna balanced on his hip and the baby was reaching out to pull at his wings.

“Jeremiah,” began his mother just as firmly. “Your daughter has magic flowing through her veins. She needs to be taught how to master it before it controls her. Both you and Trine need to be taught how to teach her.”

“And if we refuse, mother?” he challenged.

“Then the little girl you are holding in your arms could grow up to be more dangerous and out of control than Anna.”

“But she’s a baby,” protested Trine.

“How do you think that doll fell off the shelf onto the floor yesterday? Or how did those soft play cubes find their way into her cot?” countered Meryn. “Luna is a natural witch and a natural vampire. The Cinque Famiglia bloodline is powerful. She’s already testing her powers. She can’t help it. Its instinctive to her.”

Both Jem and Trine turned to star at each other, both terrified by what they were hearing.

“I’ll see you in time for Samhain,” continued Meryn as she opened the door. “If you need me before then, send for me.”

Before either of them could reply, the older vampiress stepped outside, closing the door behind her.

A huge crow sat in the trees to the east of the beach hut. It was perched high up in the branches out of sight as it watched Meryn disappear into the night.