Category Archives: Uncategorized

Suitcase (poem)

Round and round

Where did mine go?

Majority black

Going oh so slow!

Round and round

Where did mine go?

There it is!

Bright yellow!

To Mobile Phone or Not To Mobile Phone…..

Those of you who have followed this blog and its sister blog the525toglasgow know of my love for live music.

Recently though I decided against buying tickets to a gig not because of the price although it was a tad steep but because the band have imposed a mobile phone ban.

Now this may be a point of controversy but to me that was a step too far.

I totally understand adopting “theatre etiquette” and there being no filming or photography during stand-up comedy shows, musicals and spoken word tours as that material is not widely available to the public beforehand, Conedians don’t release albums after all but for a rock/pop band/artist to do it? Who do they think keeps them on the stage headlining shows?

It’s their fans who make them who they are and who buy all their albums, and some bands could so well to remember that.

In this age of e-tickets, fans don’t even have a ticket stub as a memento from aa gig so it’s only fair that fans might want a few photos or minutes of video.

I do agree it can be exceedingly annoying when folk have their phones held aloft for most of a show blocking everyone’s view, but band’s allow press photographers into the pit for the opening three songs so why not let fans take photos too at this time? I’m sure the majority of fans would comply with a request to only take photos or video at a certain point.

People carry phones for many reasons to a gig not just to take photos. For one, as I’ve already alluded to, your ticket is likely to be a bar code or QR code stored on your phone. Most fans will want to purchase items at the merch stall and/or the bar in the venue and the majority of these prefer card payments to cash…oh and the card is likely to be saved out in your phone, so you just need to tap to pay for your items. Bands make most of the money on a tour from merch sales so by banning phones they are likely to take a hard hit there.

If mobile phone bans at gigs become more commonplace, bands might want to put themselves in the fans’ shoes for a moment and think about how they’d feel if the ego maniac on stage was preventing them from sending a quick good night text to a child, or sending a message home to check that everything is ok, especially if you’ve left a young child or someone who is ill. Fans might have elderly parents that they check in with before bedtime. People who take medication at specific times often have alarms in their phones to remind them.

If the band has dictated that phones are banned then by having them locked in sealed pouches for the duration of a show none of the above can happen and that could be causing unnecessary risks.

Personally, attending gigs while The Big Green Gummi Bear was terminally ill was one of the few moments of respite, I got from the situation but if I had been forced by the band to be uncontactable for those few precious hours of normality, I would have had to stay at home and that would have been detrimental to my mental and emotional wellbeing.   

So, artists who feel the need to ban phones, next time pause to remember who keeps you on that stage doing what you love and reflect on how you would feel if your human rights were being infringed in such a manner.

The Measly Jar of Motivation – Daisy

Despite the number of art classes that she taught in a week, Friday evening’s, at the close of the day, were Daisy’s favourite. For the past few years, she had willingly given up her time to teach a class at the local hospital. There were no age or ability stipulations, resulting in the class attracting a wide range of students. It ran on a drop-in format so from one week to the next, she never knew who was going to be there.

Balancing her large plastic craft boxes in her arms, Daisy headed down the hallway to the lounge that she had been allocated for the class.

“Allow me to open your door for you,” offered a young man chivalrously as she stood struggling to balance the boxes on one arm.

“Thanks,” she replied with a smile as she sidestepped past him into the room.

“Is this the art group?” he asked shyly.

“Yes, it is but class isn’t for another half hour. I’m just in early to set things up.”

“Need a hand?”

“That’d be great, thanks.”

As they set up each workstation with the requisite arts and crafts supplies, they chatted about the class and the type of mediums it was able to offer the budding artists. From the plastic wristband just visible under the cuff of his sweatshirt, Daisy confirmed that he was a patient. When she had started teaching the classes, she had been asked not to ask the patients why there were in hospital. Many of them, usually older women, openly told her but she sensed that there was something this young man was hiding, and she respected his privacy.

“I’ll be back in five,” he said a few minutes before the class was due to start. “Save me a space.”

“Of course,” replied Daisy. “And thanks for the help to get set up.”

“Pleasure,” he said as he flashed her a smile.

True to his words, he returned just as the class was starting. He sat quietly working on a small sketch for the two hours and at the end of class he handed it to her.

“For you,” he said shyly.

It was a beautiful drawing of a daisy.

“Thank you.”

Each week for the next six weeks, he was there waiting for her. They fell into an easy routine where he helped her to set up the room then nipped away for a few minutes before returning to take part in the class. Out of all the students/patients that she had taught, his sketches showed the most talent. Some weeks he would paint but mainly he preferred to sketch. After a couple of weeks, he asked if he could borrow some supplies to use during the week. Without hesitation, Daisy gave him a sketch pad, a box of pencils, some paints and a couple of brushes.

One Friday, the hallway was empty when she arrived and there was no sign of him in the class either. Her heart sank a little. She’d been looking forward to their Friday catch up all week. As time had passed, they’d formed a friendship that she secretly hoped they could continue when he was no longer one of the patients. It suddenly struck her that he’d never told her his name.

“Oh well,” she thought as she passed out the art supplies to the rest of the group. “Perhaps he went home.”

Two hours later, as she was packing up, Daisy became aware of someone standing in the doorway. It was a middle-aged man, but he had a familiar look about him. He was holding a sketch pad and a bag of art supplies.

“Hi,” she said with a smile. “Class is over for tonight. Sorry.”

“I came to give you these back,” said the man stepping into the room. “And to say thank you.”

“Thank you? I don’t understand,” began Daisy then the penny suddenly dropped. These were the art supplies that she had loaned to her missing student.

“My son passed away this afternoon. Cancer. Allergic reaction to his new meds caused a cardiac arrest they say,” the man’s eyes filled with tears as his words faltered.

“Oh, I am so so sorry,” gushed Daisy reaching out to touch the man’s arm.

“Thank you,” he said quietly, “You’re the first person I’ve told.” He paused then cleared his throat before continuing, “Storm loved your classes. They were all he talked about these past few weeks. He hadn’t painted in a long time, but you gave that pleasure back to him.”

“He was very talented,” complimented Daisy, thinking to herself that Storm had been the perfect name for him.

“He had made you something. Think he had been planning to bring it along tonight. Thought I better pass it on,” he paused. “And return the art things.”

“He made something for me?”

Storm’s father nodded as he handed her the sketchpad and the bag. “It’s in the pencil box.”

Accepting the things, all Daisy could think to say was, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. I’d best be going. Family to call. Arrangements to sort out. Nice meeting you.”

He turned to leave, adding quietly, “A parent should never have to bury their child.”

“No, they shouldn’t,” empathised Daisy, remembering her own young daughter’s white coffin vividly. “Can you please let me know the arrangements when you have them? I’d like to pay my respects.”

He nodded then turned and walked down the hallway, shoulders slumped, and gaze lowered.

Feeling her own emotions in turmoil, Daisy set the things down on the table. On impulse, she flicked through the sketchpad. It was filled with sketches…sketches of her! Each one had a daisy emblem hidden in it somewhere. In one it was a flower in her hair; in another it was a flower on her T-shirt. Closing the book, she reached into the bag for the pencil box. Inside the box, nestled among the pencils she found a flat blue stone.  It was a lapis lazuli palm stone. Turning it over, she saw that Storm had painted a tiny daisy chain round the edges and in the centre had written “A little pocket hug from me to you.”

Tears flowed silently down her cheeks as she slipped the stone into her jeans’ pocket.

Airport (acrostic poem)

Arrivals and departures

Irresistible lure of the newsstand

Realisation that the trip is over

Praying that the flight is on time

Only worry is “will the suitcase survive?”

Really should have packed less

Trips are fun

(image sourced via Google- credits to the owner)

The Restoration of the Kitchen Library

Ever start a task and seriously wish you hadn’t?

A month or so ago I was getting work done in the house that involved knocking down a wall to extend my existing kitchen and fitting a whole new kitchen.

There are floor to ceiling bookshelves at one end of the room so before the work commenced, I packed up all my books. No mean feat.

Scoot forward a month and the work was complete…which meant that the books needed to go back on the newly painted shelves…all nine large boxes of them!

Previously there had been no rhyme nor reason as to how they had been arranged. (I can feel some of you book lovers twitching as I write that.) Books by the same author did tend to be grouped together but they most certainly were not in alphabetical order.

That had to change!

Was I up to the task?

Putting those books back proved to be something of an endurance event.

Initially I spread the alphabet out to allow space for the collection- A’s on one shelf, R’s nearer the floor and M’s in the middle of the middle shelf – you get the idea- and began to empty the boxes.

I quickly decided that there would also need to be a few separate sections for poetry books, biographies etc so each of those was assigned one of the smaller shelves.

As I unloaded each box, the shelves began to fill.

The alphabet gaps proved to be too tight, so shelves were stacked then oved along and down to squeeze in more R’s or S’s. The re-arrangement meant some of the books were lifted and shifted three and four times.

By the sixth box, the sweat was pouring off me and over three hours had passed.

By the seventh box, I’ll admit I was wishing I’d never started.

By the right box, I was cursing certain authors for writing such weighty tomes.

By the ninth box, I was exhausted.

More than five hours after I started the boxes were empty and the books were back on the shelves. There’s really not much room to spare!

Then my mother drops the bombshell – “We’ve got some of your books. When do you want them back?”

Aghhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

A Widow For A Year And Change…..

I don’t often write these blogs on a personal level, preferring to keep the vast majority of my personal life out of the social media spotlight. This week is an exception.

I’ve been a widow for a year…and a few days… and it still feels weird…surreal…unreal.

There’s a certain loss of identity that comes with this new title that isn’t sitting easy with me. Am I single? Am I still married? I know that legally I’m single but what about emotionally? Who am I now?

There have been a lot of hurdles to get over this year as I try to rebuild not just my own life but also a new dynamic to family life too. It’s an ongoing journey and there’s a long way to go still with certain aspects of it.

I have tried to take time out this year for myself. I’m not good at putting myself first. It really doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m also not very good at being patient with myself. I set far too high a level of expectation of myself but at least I’ve recognised that so that’s a small step forward.

On World Mental Health Day I attended a webinar through work about burnout and it proved to be a bit of a lightbulb moment for me. Burnout and I are not strangers to each other. I first burnt out in 2012. (I recognise that now, but it took a while to acknowledge this.) It was that experience that set me on my current creative path so there was something positive came out of it.

Last year left me burnt out for a second time. If I’m being honest, I actually burnt out towards the end of 2021 but had no option but to keep going. I can admit that now. I have tried to be gentle with myself this year…. or have I?

The session I attended on 10th October brought me up short. Had I been pushing myself too hard? When I asked a close friend that question, they replied “Probably have.” That too brought me up short.

One of the casualties of the way I have been feeling both physically and emotionally this year has been my writing. I don’t mean these short weekly blog posts. My current work-in-progress, my 9th book baby, is the innocent victim here. The words just haven’t been flowing. I’ve felt disconnected from it. I parked it a few months ago, started a new project but that felt all wrong too, so I went back to the original piece. I owe it to that story to finish telling it.

Another thing that session from earlier this month made me acknowledge is that fresh signs of burnout are appearing. I’ve spotted them but they need to be addressed and addressed soon before they spiral out of control. And address them I will. I promise.

Several followers of this blog and my creative journey have been asking when my next book will be out. They’ve been asking if there will be more books about Silver Lake and Jake Power. They’ve been asking if there is more to come from Riley.

I guess where I’m going here is yes, but all in good time.

I have Book Baby 9 partially written. It’s about a third to halfway there. I just need to be patient with myself a little longer and not try to force the words out onto the page. When you do that, they don’t necessarily land in the right order. I’ve been working on it for two years…that’s longer than I’ve spent writing any of its siblings.

I owe it to myself and to the tale to take my time and not force the issue. Creatively it needs to flow and for now that flow is a bit of a stop/start affair, a bit like everyday life.

One step at a time. One word at a time… and this widow will rediscover her creative mojo.

Journal – an acrostic poem

Jotting down thoughts

One thought at a time

Using the words as therapy

Relating the tale helps

Nothing to hide

Always honest

Love how the words reveal the truths the eyes don’t see

Silently Watching Upon a Hunter’s Moon

Staring down at the lifeless homeless girl, Jem ran his hands through his hair and groaned. He could feel her blood coursing through him, taking the edge off his Rabbia Sanguigna.

“If only it would last,” he thought to himself as he tucked her stinking nylon sleeping bag round her corpse. With a click, the flame of his lighter danced in the dark. He touched it to the sleeping bag then transported himself away before the flames caught.

A few minutes later, he touched down in the courtyard outside the beach hut, just as dawn was breaking.

The girl had been the seventh person he’d taken in the past four weeks.

“Jeremiah.”

“Mother.”

“Walk with me before you go inside,” instructed Meryn, her tone leaving no room for him to decline.

Together they walked in silence along the narrow coastal path, the full Hunter’s Moon lighting their way until they reached the bridge. Stepping off the path and into the shadows cast by the stand of trees, Meryn indicated that he should follow.

“Where have you been?” she asked him directly.

“Hunting,” he replied evasively.

“Don’t even try to lie, Jeremiah,” she began, her voice echoing with concern. “I can smell human blood on you…and not for the first time lately.”

An uneasy silence descended upon them before Jem said quietly, “Mother, I think I need your help, I can’t control the thirst.”

“Drinking from that human with Trine started this, didn’t it?”

Jem nodded.

“How many?”

“The girl tonight was the seventh,” he confessed, bowing his head in shame. “I’ve taken care to cover my tracks.”

“Seventh!” echoed Meryn. “This has to stop!”

“Don’t you think I don’t know that, mother!” he snapped. “My Rabbia Sanguigna is raging out of control, and I don’t know how to calm it down. Nothing works.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked, her tone considerably softer.

“You were busy with Trine and Luna. I thought it would pass. I thought I could control it.”

“But you can’t,” she finished for him.

“I’m terrified I hurt Luna.”

His mother looked at him in horror.

“The very first time, all those years ago when I was partially transformed, I almost bit my son one morning. I stopped myself. Bit the cat instead,” he explained. A single tear slid down his cheek.

“You won’t harm your daughter,” assured Meryn warmly. “It’s not vampire blood you are craving.”

“Help me,” he whispered.

“I will,” promised his mother, reaching out for his hand. “How did Anna quench it the first time?”

Letting out a long sigh, Jem said, “That was a long time ago.”

Reaching into his pocket for the well-worn pouch of crystals that he always carried, he added, “I know it involved some of these.”

Taking the pouch from him, Meryn loosened the strings and tipped the stones out into the palm of her hand. Her keen eyesight detected which stones had been shaved in the past. “Opal, Moonstone and Turquoise. It’s a start. What else?”

“Blood,” replied Jem, thinking back. “And bark from a tree…an oak tree, I think.”

“I’m familiar with the potion,” said Meryn calmly. “I can prepare it for you but it’s a short-term remedy.”

“Can you do something more permanent?”

“Perhaps,” she mused. “But not here.”

“We need to go back to Stefan’s castle, don’t we?”

Meryn nodded, “But not yet. Luna is too young to travel, and Trine still isn’t strong enough. They both need more time before its safe.”

“When?”

“We’ll wait until the Snow Moon,” advised Meryn.

Jem nodded knowing in his heart that there was no other choice.

In the cold darkness of her cell, Anna allowed a single tear of regret to slide down her cheek. She could feel her runner’s pain, his anguish at the blood rage he was suffering from; she could feel her own blood rage rising and for the first time felt lost. Unable to hunt for herself she had no way to quench her own thirst…. or did she?

The Measly Jar of Motivation – Fifteen Years Down the Line

It had been years since I had seen her. Life got in the way. You know how it is. Maintaining adult friendships is tough- work, family, kids, divorce…they all get in the way.

A friend of a friend brought her back into my circle by chance.

Back in school, she had been a lively girl. One of life’s unique colourful souls. I’d secretly had a huge crush on her. Many many times I’d almost asked her out on a date, but I felt that she was too good for me. She deserved more.

She was one of life’s free spirits and I was keen to learn where life had taken her to.

I spotted her easily when I arrived at the restaurant, recognising her long sun-bleached blonde hair instantly. Fifteen years down the line and I’d know her anywhere.

My heart was pounding in my chest and my palms were sweating as I approached the table. Would she recognise me?

“Hi, Lizzie,” I heard myself say as I reached the table. “Great to see you. It’s been a while.”

“Hi,” I heard her reply.

Something was different…

I took a seat opposite her, almost sending the small vase of flowers in the centre of the table crashing to the floor as I bumped the table.

She smiled and my heart skipped a beat, but I sensed that something was just a little bit off. There was an air of serenity about her. There was no sign that that free spirit was still flying free. She was dressed entirely in black. Where had her colourful gypsy clothes gone?

And where had the long, ragged scar that now ran down her cheek come from?…

The Scent of Summer (poem)

If I could bottle the scent of summer

It would start with the smell of the ocean

The saltiness dancing in the early morning air.

If I could bottle the scent of summer

It would be the smell of sunscreen tinged with sand,

A gritty coconut aroma.

If I could bottle the scent of summer

It would be the tantalising smell of pizza

With a whiff of a side of fries.

If I could bottle the scent of summer

It would be smores and ice cream

With a lingering hint of BBQ long since devoured.