OK a bit of a cheat’s post but I’m sure you’ll forgive me.
The above collage sums up Staycation 2016 – bare feet, coffee, cinnamon bagels, writing, some typing (yes, I’ve begun the typing marathon that will become Bonded Souls …eventually!), a couple of cocktails, some photography, some great live music and , of course, several pairs of Converse!
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Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, concert, concerts, creative writing, friends, humour, live music, memories, music, photography, rock music
normal blog services will resume when my mind returns to the here and now…..it may be some time! #amwriting
images sourced via Google – credits to the owners
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #BondedSouls, #RehobothBeach, #SilverLake, humour
It’s reached that time of year again. It’s the eve of the start of my two week break from the salt mine.
Staycation 2016 starts tomorrow at 5pm!
In the run up to this long anticipated annual event, I invariably go into a “To Do List” frenzy. (I’m bad enough on a good day but it’s worse at Staycation time and all I would say is “run for cover” if I’m actually going on Vacation!…trust me on that!)
I’ve written before on here explaining that, without a ready supply of Post It notes, I’m lost! Seriously, I can’t fully function in either the work environment or my real/creative world without them.
When disaster struck in both worlds this week, I could’ve cried. Mid-list making, I ran out of Post Its! AGHHHH!!!!
The first part of the disaster struck early on Monday morning as I went to jot down a little aide memoir. No Post Its! Taking a deep breath, I reasoned with myself and calmly added Post Its to my weekly shopping list. Surely I could survive until Saturday without them?
I got to work a couple of hours later and, after my essential Starbucks kick start, began to plan ahead for the two weeks that I will be out of the office. Mid-morning, I reached for my trusty Post It pad to write two notes…AGHHH! There was only ONE left! Cue second OCD panic of the day and it wasn’t even 10.30am!
I gave myself a stern talking to and went to the drawer where we keep the stationery….No Post Its!!! Still trying to maintain a calm demeanour and at least attempt to look like a sane fully functioning adult, I scurried to my own locker/drawer. In it lurks a plastic bag of odds and ends that used to fill the top drawer of my previous desk. (I never did get around to clearing it out and had just dumped the contents into a bag) Whew! Right at the bottom of the bag I found a small square of sticky note salvation.
Normal business activities resumed.
That evening, I was working on Book Baby 3 and plotting out the remaining key scenes to be written (I’m not the most structured at planning before I start to write so Post Its form an essential part of the process)
EEK! No Post Its to jot down the key pieces of information. I soldiered on….twitching slightly.
Straight after work on Tuesday, I headed to the supermarket and arrived home triumphantly clutching a nice new pad of pink sticky notes! Happy girl! Lord, I’m easy pleased.
So, since Tuesday, Staycation 2016 planning has been forging ahead.
The primary aim of the coming two weeks is to finally finish the first handwritten draft of Book Baby 3. I’ll be honest, much as I love my book baby, parts of this one have been a challenge. It’s been a bit of a slog but, following a few major changes, I’ve made good progress lately. Hopefully, two weeks will be enough to get it successfully to the end. (Crosses fingers and offer up a silent prayer to Ixchel, the Mayan goddess of creativity.)
Several Post Its have been used to note down various appointments that I’ve slotted into my Staycation schedule, including a caffeine fuelled catch up with an old school friend.
A sense of equilibrium has been restored and I can now look forward to a creative Staycation 2016…unless of course the Great Lord Camelot shines down on me on Saturday night, meaning I can actually make plans to go away for a few days in the sun.
Post It note required—-“buy lottery ticket”
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Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, #PostIts, #stickynotes, humour, staycation
A small social media frenzy over the past twenty four hours about a certain band’s new album listening party and subsequent announcement of the album’s title triggered thoughts of heroes.
Does everyone have a hero or heroes?
Is there a difference between a hero and an idol?
What does it take to be your hero?
As is my usual want, my research began with the tattered family dictionary.
Hero – a person, typically a man, who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements or noble qualities.
Idol – a person who is a greatly admired or revered.
My next approach was to ask some friends and family members who their heroes are and why. This threw up some interesting answers and cast doubt on the 21st Century hero being male.
Two friends, who shall remain nameless, said it was their grandmother, mother and sister. Their reasoning was also pretty similar – strong, independent women overcoming the challenges life’s flung in their paths and who live/lived life to the full. Hearing friends describe these “Wonder Women” was heart-warming to say the least.
Only one friend said their hero was their dad but qualified their answer in that, as they grew up, they realised he was “just a man.” This was a response that resonated with me but I’ll come back to that shortly.
One person named three high flying, high profile business men as their heroes. The likes of Richard Branson to name but one. The reason for choosing these three gentlemen in particular was because their success has brought employment to thousands of people. Admirable qualities without a doubt.
One of the folk I asked said their children were now their “little heroes” as they had “all won the race for life.” (Think I know what you mean, Four!) I hadn’t thought of my own kids in that vein but I can see where the train of thought has come from. With the current state of the world we live in, all of today’s children are tomorrow’s heroes!
One friend said her husband was her hero. That one made me smile.
Another friend claimed to be too cynical to have any heroes. Such cynicism from one so young!
So, how would I answer my own question?
Like the friend I mentioned earlier, who said their first hero was their dad, I’d have to agree. Several friends may just have fainted from shock at that comment! Up until a month ago, I’d have disputed it.
I recently found myself watching an audio visual presentation at the Royal West of Scotland Amateur Boat Club’s 150th Birthday Party and my emotional reaction took me by complete surprise. I was a mess!
My dad was a successful amateur oarsman in his day and seeing photos of him in his hey day along with the various crews brought back vivid childhood memories.
Many a late Saturday afternoon was spent sitting on the front wall waiting to see if he’d come home from whatever regatta it was with more silver ware. I remember him and his friends attempting to set the world record for rowing the length of Loch Ness in 1976. I remember waving him and his friends off on his epic 180 mile long row. In many ways these are bittersweet memories. Like my friend, as I grew up, I too realised that while he’s still my Dad he’s “just a man.” (He did take me to my first gig – Status Quo at the SECC Glasgow in 1986)
I swithered having read the dictionary definitions of hero and idol as to whether I’ve been answering this question incorrectly for years.
After some deliberation I’ve concluded that my answer is accurate. Despite my love of music, my hero is a sporting legend. He ticks all the boxes in the dictionary definition. Sadly he passed away in 2003 at the age of 52. He was greatly admired for his courage on many levels, especially the courage with which he returned to his sport after an horrendous accident in 1982. He left his sport in a far safer state than he joined it, having campaigned tirelessly for years for safety improvements and even, on occasion, improved toilet facilities! He was a household name, a “cheeky chappy” with an astute business mind. A family man at heart.
So who is it?
My all-time hero is the late great Barry Sheene, former world champion motorcyclist.
I could wax lyrical all day but I won’t. If you want to learn more about him then this link is a fair place to start https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barry_Sheene
Yes, I have my musical idols, past and present, and countless other people whom I greatly admire for their various attributes, including some of the friends I quizzed earlier today, but my answer to the question remains the same as it has done for over thirty- five years. Barry Sheene.
So who is your hero and why?
(images sourced via Google- credits to the owners)
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Tagged #amblogging, #BarrySheene, #blogging, #hero, #idol, family
Just imagine if……..
Sitting at a corner table on the balcony of The Greene Turtle in Rehoboth, De recently, I gazed across the crowded beach, wondering what to expect from the interview that lay ahead. I’ve interviewed my fair share of rock gods over the years but I was just a little bit excited to be given the opportunity to shoot the breeze with Silver Lake front man, Jake Power.
Arriving a few minutes late for our scheduled appointment, rock’s latest heart throb sits down opposite me, apologising profusely for keeping me waiting.
“Time keeping isn’t one of my attributes,” he jokes somewhat sheepishly. “My girlfriend even bought me my dream watch for my birthday last year in an attempt to keep me on time. She’s failed there I’m embarrassed to admit but I love that watch!”
Life for the Silver Lake singer/guitarist is busy right now. Following a successful European tour late last year and an Antipodean adventure with Aussie rock giants, Bodimead, earlier this year, Silver Lake are currently in the studio recording their second album, under the watchful eye of Grammy award winning producer, Dr Marrs.
When I ask Jake how recording is going, he flashes me one of his famous “Power” smiles. This guy is hot!
“We’re getting there. It’s only week one so it’s been mainly Paul and Grey who’ve been in. Rich and I have been working at the house tweaking the guitar parts. There’s still some lyrics to be finished off too.”
I ask how it feels to be the first act to record in the newly completed JJL Studios in Delaware.
“It’s pretty neat. The first day we were all like big kids in a new classroom. Wanting to touch this. Play with that,” confesses Jake. “I think Jim was getting pretty mad at us, to be honest. He had that withering look in his eye.” (Jim being producer Dr Marrs)
Up until late last year, our rock god was a schoolteacher, teaching music at a local high school along with fellow Silver Lake sensation, Rich Santiago. I ask him if he misses the classroom.
“I do,” he answers with little hesitation. “But this crazy life is the one I’ve been chasing down for twenty years. It’s great to go back and visit the school now and then as time allows. We’ve done a few workshops. Keeps my hand in.”
“And what kind of a student were you?” I ask, hoping for an insight into a teenage Jake Power.
“I was actually a good student. B+ average. I got an A in English Lit and Music. My mum was pretty strict about school and studying. She made sure study came first before music. She made sure I put in the work. Even through college, I worked my ass off but there was always a band or two on the go. My heart’s always been in my music.”
So after spending years in several small local rock bands and then forming Silver Lake some five years ago, with Rich Santiago, Grey Cooper and Paul Edwards, I was keen to hear how Jake felt about being catapulted into his dream world. Was it living up to expectations?
“It’s all been a bit of a whirlwind experience,” he begins. At this point we’re interrupted by the waitress arriving with the drinks order. She treats Jake like an old friend, prompting me to ask if the bar is a regular Silver Lake haunt.
“It is,” replies Jake with a laugh. “Many a Silver Lake night out has started or ended here. Lori and I held our engagement party here too.”
After a mouthful of beer, Jakes returns to my original question about his new found rock star lifestyle.
“We’ve been incredibly lucky. I totally appreciate that. Molton gave us our first big break when we played a few arena shows with them last summer. The UK tour with Weigh Station was an incredible opportunity. I’ve loved those guys since I was a kid. We learned so much from them on that tour then being out with Bodimead gave us another view of how things are done. It’s been a steep learning curve but we’re a tight unit. A family. Maddison and Gary keep us all on a tight rein. Maddison is a scary lady when she’s mad so we all tend to toe the line.”
I ask if there are any more live shows on the horizon.
“Actually, we’re playing a birthday party next,” Jake reveals. “It’s the record company’s 21st birthday in a couple of weeks so we’ve been invited to play a few numbers. Then, as far as I remember, we’ve a few festival appearances lined up through August. I get a hard time for never knowing our schedule. Drives Maddison insane.”
It’s easy to fall under the spell of this unassuming rock star. He’s easy to talk to. No ego. No entourage with him. He says that he walked along the beach to the interview, explaining that he lives not far from the centre of the small Delaware Riviera resort. Eventually I ask what keeps him so grounded.
“This place. Lori. The other guys,” he explains. (I should perhaps explain that Jake’s girlfriend, Lori, is none other than album artist to the stars, Mz Hyde)
“Off the road, our lives haven’t really changed,” continues Jake. “At least not yet. We all still live in the same houses or apartments. Rich treated himself to a new car but that’s been the only big splurge spend by any of us so far. We can all still come in here, enjoy a few beers and no one bothers us. I hope to keep it that way.”
“Do you ever get stopped around town for autographs?”
“Sometimes. It’s a tourist town so there’s a lot of traffic through here, especially in summer. It goes with the job though. If Silver Lake didn’t have fans out there buying our record, buying tickets to the shows and shit then I’d still be teaching class and playing at weddings on the weekend. Signing a few autographs is a small price to pay.”
Trust me, Jake Power can play at my wedding any day!
So what can Silver Lake fans expect from the new record?
“I don’t know,” laughs Jake, his hazel eyes twinkling with mischief. “Ask me that in another few weeks when it’s finished. Seriously though, it’s a progression of Dragon Song, our first album. Some of the new stuff’s a bit heavier. We’re trying to develop that Silver Lake sound. I don’t want to give too much away just yet.”
“Any ballads planned for it?”
“One so far,” Jake reveals quietly before adding, “The fans seem to love the ballads in the middle of the harder stuff. I guess we’d be in trouble with them if we didn’t sneak one onto the new record.”
Spotting Jake’s tattoo of the music to Silver Lake’s Stronger Within on his forearm, I ask him about that song and the tattoo. For the first time in the interview, he hesitates and, for a moment, I thought he wasn’t going to answer.
“That song’s pretty precious to me,” he confesses. “I wrote it not long after I met Lori and, as I’ve said before, it’s really about her. She’s one of the strongest women I’ve ever met. At that point, she was really proving to herself, as well as to me, just how mentally strong and determined she can be. The tattoo followed on from the song. I’ve gathered a few over the years. Each one has a personal meaning to me. They represent important events in my life. The music represents my relationship with Mz Hyde.”
From the way he speaks of her, Jake Power is a rock star madly in love with his partner(Sorry, girls)
He finishes his beer and apologises that he needs to get going. My allotted hour is long since up. Deciding to push my luck a little further, I ask what the pressing engagement is. Jake laughs, runs his hand through his long sun bleached hair and explains that Grey’s car has broken down again and that he’s arranged to help him tow it to the shop.
And with that, he shakes my hand, thanks me for the beer and heads off along the crowded balcony.
I sat on, finishing my own beer, watching the flow of people on the boardwalk below. I spot Jake in the crowd, walking briskly, just another anonymous face among them.
I get the feeling that that anonymity won’t last much longer. Jake Power is destined for rock god stardom…. I think I’ve fallen just a little bit in love with him.
credits to the owner of the photo sourced via Facebook.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, #fiction, #Impossible Depths, #interview, #SilverLake, #StrongerWithin, creative writing, Jake Power
In 2013 I undertook a photography challenge. The task was to post a different photo each day to Facebook and that it had to be a photo taken that day.
By October/November time it really was a challenge and was also bordering on an obsession!
There’s only so many different things that you see in a normal humdrum day.
However, I completed the challenge and would encourage any aspiring photographers to give it a go sometime.
The legacy of this photography endurance event is that I still have that mindset to be looking for my photo of the day.
If I’m out for a walk, as is my usual want at lunchtime, I’m constantly looking at the world around me in small rectangles.
I am also a creature of habit. You could almost set your watch by me!
This means that I walk the same route most days at lunchtime. (I confess that over the past month I’ve been taking a longer route but that’s primarily to get my step count up as part of the annual GCC challenge to complete 10000 steps per day for 100 days)
Every day I take two precious items with me – my iPod and my phone. Phone means camera. Camera leads to photographs and so it goes on.
If you walk with your eyes wide open to the world around you it’s amazing what you can see. Whether it’s a boat sailing gracefully down the Clyde or a seagull biding its time on the railings or a starfish lying in the path, every day is different.
These lunchtime meanderings are good for the soul.
I’ve not undertaken a long term photographic challenge since 2013 but I could be tempted to do another one. Someone has already suggested taking a photo of the same view from the same point every day for a year to catalogue the seasonal changes. It’s a thought…..
For now though, here’s a selection of views from my lunchtime wanderings.
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Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, #photochallenge, addiction, photography
Anyone who’s followed my blog musings here or on my music blog, The525To Glasgow ( https://the525toglasgow.wordpress.com/ ), knows I’m prone to escaping “out to play” on occasion.
Over the past couple of years, I’ve been chaperoned by a variety of close friends, Facebook son, Boy Child’s friends, Boy Child, Girl Child and, on one memorable occasion, The Big Green Gummi bear even came out to play.
There’s been many an incredible night and countless precious memories created!
Throughout it all there’s been “someone” who’s been by my side every time. Someone who until now has remained anonymous. Someone who will remain silent and never tell tales (what happens at a gig stays at a gig!) Not once have they complained that it’s too hot, too crowded, too loud or that we’ve been out too late.
So who is this mystery chaperone?
Her name is Cherry. (I’m sure she’s a Black Stone Cherry fan as she’s now seen them play live four times!)
Cherry is the Kipling monkey who hangs from my “gig bag”.
Yes, the same handbag comes to every show. It’s a veritable tardis! It’s small and compact and is my own version of a “Hermione bag”. The back pocket can hold up to three t-shirts from the merchandise stall. The main pocket safeguards my purse, keys, phone, contact lens case etc. The long narrow front pocket hides the Dextro tablets and,of course, the “rock’n’roll” polo mints! It is the perfect gig bag!
When I first decided to take this bag with me I was worried that Cherry might get pulled off in the crowd. I considered removing her from the ring on the side of the bag for safe keeping (She is quite cute and I’d hate to lose her) but something made me leave her where she was.
She’s a lucky monkey! She’s seen many a great band plus a few dodgy support acts. She’s been faithfully by my side as I’ve queued outside venues in the freezing cold or the pouring rain or both without a murmur of complaint. She’s been doused in water and beer in the crowd.
She’s been lucky enough to meet a few rock stars too! (there is a certain star struck look to her wee face)
But, for now, she’s hanging quietly in the wardrobe, patiently waiting for our next date.
My gig calendar is currently empty- a tragic state of affairs that I intend to rectify as soon as I can! Once the next show arrives then Cherry and I plus human chaperones will be off out to play once more!
Rock’n’roll polo mint anyone?
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Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, #Kiplingmonkey, concerts, friends, humour, live music, rock music
For the past few weeks the sun has shone down on the Clyde coast. The weather has been fabulous but it’s had a dreadful effect on my creative productivity.
I cannot resist the lure of the evening sun during the week or any sun at the weekends and have been regularly spotted sitting outdoors with my nose buried in my Kindle.
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve spent hour after hour in the sun. It’s no secret that I adore warm sunny weather. Lunchtimes have been spent walking along the River Clyde near to the salt mine. Where possible, meetings for work have taken place outdoors. We’ve even had “weetings” – walking meetings! (Every step has been counting towards my team’s GCC target- 10000 steps each a day for a 100 days) Evenings have been spent sitting on the front doorstep until the sun sinks behind the roofs across the street.
I have the suntan to prove it!
Book Baby 3 has suffered a little neglect ….I’m a bad book baby mummy. I have written some of it outdoors in recent days but the part that I’m working on doesn’t lend itself to outdoor creativity. (No- you’re not getting any storyline hints!)
What I have been doing is devouring books! My Kindle has definitely been well used of late.
So, what have I been reading?
It’s been an eclectic mix. Here’s some of the highlights of my summer booklist to date-
Rock My World by Julie Shackman – a paranormal rock star romance tale. 7/10
His Perfect Imperfection by Natasza Waters – a contemporary love story 7/10
Flight To Coorah Creek by Janet Glover – an outback/flying doctors contemporary romance 8/10
The Vampire’s Human Companion by Cecil Wilde – beyond description and blessedly short – 3/10
Perfect Daughter (No Greater Courage) by Amanda Prowse – a powerful and emotional family drama 8/10
Me Before You – Jojo Moyes – a powerful love story that is one of the few books to make me sob – loved it! 10/10
Behind Closed Doors – B A Paris- a very gripping thriller. Absolutely loved the ending! 10/10
And now I’m currently reading The Physician by Noah Gordon and am totally immersed in 11th Century Persia! (Thanks, Iris!)
Fans of the Silver Lake series will be pleased to hear that this spell of glorious weather is due to break any day so normal creative productivity will resume with the rain!
To quote Chris Cornell’s lyrics “Let your eyes wander wild and free”.
How often do you really look around you? How often do you pause for a second in your hectic day to appreciate your surroundings? When did you last stop to listen to the birds sing?
As Spring moves seamlessly into Summer, the world around us has become a riot of colours. This was something that I only noticed the full extent of the other day.
We all lead busy lives and are always dashing from here to there. It’s so easy to jump in the car rather than walking to your destination. If you’re cocooned in the car, you miss so much of the beauty of the world about you.
What struck me when I was out early one morning last week was just how many different wild flowers were growing along the edge of the road. No, I’m not talking about flowers and shrubs in people’s gardens but plants that are growing wild and free.
Yesterday I retraced my steps, camera in hand, to capture some of these. Yes, I got some odd looks from passers-by as I was sat on the pavement photographing what to a lot of people are considered weeds. When I got home and downloaded the images onto my laptop, I was amazed by how many I’d taken. (Don’t panic they’re not all coming up !)
There’s a whole beautiful world out there if we only slow down long enough to look. So “Let your eyes wander wild and free” as Mr Cornell suggests and have a look at your world. You might be surprised by what you see!
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Tagged #amblogging, #blogging, #MondayBlogs, #wildflowers, flowers, nature, photography, wild flowers
I thought I’d share something a little different with you this week.
I have a “special guest” contributor.
For the past few years this young lady has had a love/hate relationship with English in school. Last year, however, she found herself in a different class with a different teacher and, after a shaky start, he’s managed to “flick the switch to On” and now she “gets it”.
The transformation of this young lady has been a joy to watch.
For years it has broken my heart that she was so dis-interested in reading. How could my own daughter not love books? The house is full of them! Now, she’s steadily devouring them…well my Harry Potter ones at least but it’s a start and a huge leap forward!
Recently, she had to submit an essay for her English exam portfolio. We chatted a little about possible topics but I never really gave her any ideas or storylines. I never gave her any help worth mentioning. She’s always had a leaning towards darker characters so her final choice of topic didn’t surprise me. (Now that he’s got to know her, I don’t think it overly shocked her teacher either and I’m relieved to say that social services haven’t arrived at my door!)
I was given the chance to read the final draft of her essay before she submitted it. I was blown away by it! Now I admit, I am a little biased here but I’m her mother so I’ll beg your forgiveness.
With Girl Child’s permission, I’m proud to introduce her as the first guest writer on my blog page. I hope you enjoy her short story.
Temptress
People deal with pain and loss in different ways. Some people go to therapy, some go to self-help groups filled with people dealing with the same issues, others bottle everything up inside until they can’t take it anymore and eventually blow their brains out with a double barrel shot gun between their teeth. However, I turn to my one true love. Heroin. Oh my sweet mistress dressed in brown. She takes all the pain away and holds you tight showing you only the good in the world.
It starts with a tatty old belt round the arm to make a beautiful blue target full of blood. When the needle goes in and the plunger goes down, your soul leaves your body. The mistress’ work has begun.
It is hard to describe what it’s like taking heroin. Normally, for me, it is like enlightenment. It feels like there is gold rushing through your veins, making you pure and at peace. The warm seas of gold fill you up and drown all the evil inside. It is the closest that a drug addict will ever get to heaven. After a few hours in heaven the mistress brings you back down to your pit of despair called reality.
However, with this hit there was no gold and no heaven. The gold seas were replaced with pools of tar. The evil was multiplying and pouring out of my eyes in the form of hallucinations. Heaven was replaced with judgement day.
The first hallucinations my mistress brought to me were of the past. My ex girlfriend, mother, father, younger brother and grandmother were having a family meal in my parent’s house. All around there were smiles and laughter. My family loved my girlfriend just as much as I did.
Soon the family meal melted into the floor and was replaced with a bath. The bath filled with water and so did my eyes. I knew exactly what was coming. The body of my ex-girlfriend appeared in the bath. Her body was as cold as ice and her skin was the colour of snow. She held a razor in one hand while her other wrist poured seas of rubies. Lying on the floor was a note. Her pretty curly handwriting wrote that she couldn’t cope anymore, that I was abusive, that she was scared of me and what I would do. She wrote that this was her only way out. It was after her funeral that my mistress found me.
My mistress then brought hallucinations of the present. The first to appear was my mother. She looked much older than I remember her being, she was breaking her heart crying. I could see she was holding a picture of me as a baby, tears fell like rain drops onto my smiling chubby face. She kept asking herself “where did I go wrong?”, as more tears came pouring out. I wanted to reach out and hold her, tell her I’m sorry and cry with her.
Like the others, my mother melted into the floor and was replaced by a man. My father. He was far from tears – he was stomping around my old bedroom tearing posters off the walls and breaking everything in sight. “I ONLY HAVE ONE SON!” My father always favoured me as I was the oldest. He always had such high expectations of me, and now I was dead to him. I wanted to help him tear everything down and erase every memory of me.
My mistress ignored my pleas for the hallucinations to stop and once again my father melted into the floor and was replaced by a 15 year old boy. This was my younger brother, James, he was sitting at a lunch table in school with his friends. They looked to be laughing and joking about one of his friends getting shouted at in English because his work isn’t as good as his brothers was when he was in school. James said, ” I’m so glad I’m an only child, no teachers have anyone to compare me to”. His friend turned quietly and asked, “James, don’t you have an older brother? Fred or something like that?”. My brother turned and said, “he died years ago”.
My own little brother was denying my existence. He told people I was dead. How could he be so cold and emotionless. I fought the bullies at school so they would leave him alone. I helped with his homework. I taught him how to ride a bike. Did I really mean so little to him?
My cruel mistress then brought hallucinations of the future. It looked to be a crematorium that appeared. There was a coffin, a minister and two figures sitting in the back. As the figures became clearer I could see they were older versions of my parents. This was my funeral. My mother was still crying her heart out. My father was so still and shed a single tear. “I’m so sorry for your loss”, said the minister. “Thank you, we only wish we had helped him sooner. He had so much potential, accepted into Oxford University to do a masters in theoretical physics. He could have done amazing things with that brain of his.”
I had never thought about it before. I was smart, extremely smart. I could have made them proud, but all I’ve done is disappoint them. I broke their hearts. I drove my girlfriend to suicide. I had killed the person I used to be.
My mistress finally released me and I was left lying in a puddle of my own self pity. I couldn’t live my life like this anymore. I had to get rid of my mistress for good. She made me a shell of who I used to be. This wicked temptress had worked her way into my life making me feel special just to turn and judge me for who she made me.
Posted in Uncategorized
Tagged #amblogging, #amwriting, #blogging, drug abuse, family, heroin, Temptress
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Coral McCallum 