Arrivals and departures
Irresistible lure of the newsstand
Realisation that the trip is over
Praying that the flight is on time
Only worry is “will the suitcase survive?”
Really should have packed less
Trips are fun
(image sourced via Google- credits to the owner)
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Tagged #acrosticpoem, #airport, #CoralMcCallum, #IndieAuthor, #poem, #poertyblog, #poetrylovers, #vaction
I don’t often write these blogs on a personal level, preferring to keep the vast majority of my personal life out of the social media spotlight. This week is an exception.
I’ve been a widow for a year…and a few days… and it still feels weird…surreal…unreal.
There’s a certain loss of identity that comes with this new title that isn’t sitting easy with me. Am I single? Am I still married? I know that legally I’m single but what about emotionally? Who am I now?
There have been a lot of hurdles to get over this year as I try to rebuild not just my own life but also a new dynamic to family life too. It’s an ongoing journey and there’s a long way to go still with certain aspects of it.
I have tried to take time out this year for myself. I’m not good at putting myself first. It really doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m also not very good at being patient with myself. I set far too high a level of expectation of myself but at least I’ve recognised that so that’s a small step forward.
On World Mental Health Day I attended a webinar through work about burnout and it proved to be a bit of a lightbulb moment for me. Burnout and I are not strangers to each other. I first burnt out in 2012. (I recognise that now, but it took a while to acknowledge this.) It was that experience that set me on my current creative path so there was something positive came out of it.
Last year left me burnt out for a second time. If I’m being honest, I actually burnt out towards the end of 2021 but had no option but to keep going. I can admit that now. I have tried to be gentle with myself this year…. or have I?
The session I attended on 10th October brought me up short. Had I been pushing myself too hard? When I asked a close friend that question, they replied “Probably have.” That too brought me up short.
One of the casualties of the way I have been feeling both physically and emotionally this year has been my writing. I don’t mean these short weekly blog posts. My current work-in-progress, my 9th book baby, is the innocent victim here. The words just haven’t been flowing. I’ve felt disconnected from it. I parked it a few months ago, started a new project but that felt all wrong too, so I went back to the original piece. I owe it to that story to finish telling it.
Another thing that session from earlier this month made me acknowledge is that fresh signs of burnout are appearing. I’ve spotted them but they need to be addressed and addressed soon before they spiral out of control. And address them I will. I promise.
Several followers of this blog and my creative journey have been asking when my next book will be out. They’ve been asking if there will be more books about Silver Lake and Jake Power. They’ve been asking if there is more to come from Riley.
I guess where I’m going here is yes, but all in good time.
I have Book Baby 9 partially written. It’s about a third to halfway there. I just need to be patient with myself a little longer and not try to force the words out onto the page. When you do that, they don’t necessarily land in the right order. I’ve been working on it for two years…that’s longer than I’ve spent writing any of its siblings.
I owe it to myself and to the tale to take my time and not force the issue. Creatively it needs to flow and for now that flow is a bit of a stop/start affair, a bit like everyday life.
One step at a time. One word at a time… and this widow will rediscover her creative mojo.
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Tagged #amwritingfiction, #blogger, #burnout, #CoralMcCallum, #healing, #IndieAuthor, #mentalhealthawareness, #mentalwellbeing, #widow, #writing
Staring down at the lifeless homeless girl, Jem ran his hands through his hair and groaned. He could feel her blood coursing through him, taking the edge off his Rabbia Sanguigna.
“If only it would last,” he thought to himself as he tucked her stinking nylon sleeping bag round her corpse. With a click, the flame of his lighter danced in the dark. He touched it to the sleeping bag then transported himself away before the flames caught.
A few minutes later, he touched down in the courtyard outside the beach hut, just as dawn was breaking.
The girl had been the seventh person he’d taken in the past four weeks.
“Jeremiah.”
“Mother.”
“Walk with me before you go inside,” instructed Meryn, her tone leaving no room for him to decline.
Together they walked in silence along the narrow coastal path, the full Hunter’s Moon lighting their way until they reached the bridge. Stepping off the path and into the shadows cast by the stand of trees, Meryn indicated that he should follow.
“Where have you been?” she asked him directly.
“Hunting,” he replied evasively.
“Don’t even try to lie, Jeremiah,” she began, her voice echoing with concern. “I can smell human blood on you…and not for the first time lately.”
An uneasy silence descended upon them before Jem said quietly, “Mother, I think I need your help, I can’t control the thirst.”
“Drinking from that human with Trine started this, didn’t it?”
Jem nodded.
“How many?”
“The girl tonight was the seventh,” he confessed, bowing his head in shame. “I’ve taken care to cover my tracks.”
“Seventh!” echoed Meryn. “This has to stop!”
“Don’t you think I don’t know that, mother!” he snapped. “My Rabbia Sanguigna is raging out of control, and I don’t know how to calm it down. Nothing works.”
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” she asked, her tone considerably softer.
“You were busy with Trine and Luna. I thought it would pass. I thought I could control it.”
“But you can’t,” she finished for him.
“I’m terrified I hurt Luna.”
His mother looked at him in horror.
“The very first time, all those years ago when I was partially transformed, I almost bit my son one morning. I stopped myself. Bit the cat instead,” he explained. A single tear slid down his cheek.
“You won’t harm your daughter,” assured Meryn warmly. “It’s not vampire blood you are craving.”
“Help me,” he whispered.
“I will,” promised his mother, reaching out for his hand. “How did Anna quench it the first time?”
Letting out a long sigh, Jem said, “That was a long time ago.”
Reaching into his pocket for the well-worn pouch of crystals that he always carried, he added, “I know it involved some of these.”
Taking the pouch from him, Meryn loosened the strings and tipped the stones out into the palm of her hand. Her keen eyesight detected which stones had been shaved in the past. “Opal, Moonstone and Turquoise. It’s a start. What else?”
“Blood,” replied Jem, thinking back. “And bark from a tree…an oak tree, I think.”
“I’m familiar with the potion,” said Meryn calmly. “I can prepare it for you but it’s a short-term remedy.”
“Can you do something more permanent?”
“Perhaps,” she mused. “But not here.”
“We need to go back to Stefan’s castle, don’t we?”
Meryn nodded, “But not yet. Luna is too young to travel, and Trine still isn’t strong enough. They both need more time before its safe.”
“When?”
“We’ll wait until the Snow Moon,” advised Meryn.
Jem nodded knowing in his heart that there was no other choice.
In the cold darkness of her cell, Anna allowed a single tear of regret to slide down her cheek. She could feel her runner’s pain, his anguish at the blood rage he was suffering from; she could feel her own blood rage rising and for the first time felt lost. Unable to hunt for herself she had no way to quench her own thirst…. or did she?
It had been years since I had seen her. Life got in the way. You know how it is. Maintaining adult friendships is tough- work, family, kids, divorce…they all get in the way.
A friend of a friend brought her back into my circle by chance.
Back in school, she had been a lively girl. One of life’s unique colourful souls. I’d secretly had a huge crush on her. Many many times I’d almost asked her out on a date, but I felt that she was too good for me. She deserved more.
She was one of life’s free spirits and I was keen to learn where life had taken her to.
I spotted her easily when I arrived at the restaurant, recognising her long sun-bleached blonde hair instantly. Fifteen years down the line and I’d know her anywhere.
My heart was pounding in my chest and my palms were sweating as I approached the table. Would she recognise me?
“Hi, Lizzie,” I heard myself say as I reached the table. “Great to see you. It’s been a while.”
“Hi,” I heard her reply.
Something was different…
I took a seat opposite her, almost sending the small vase of flowers in the centre of the table crashing to the floor as I bumped the table.
She smiled and my heart skipped a beat, but I sensed that something was just a little bit off. There was an air of serenity about her. There was no sign that that free spirit was still flying free. She was dressed entirely in black. Where had her colourful gypsy clothes gone?
And where had the long, ragged scar that now ran down her cheek come from?…
If I could bottle the scent of summer
It would start with the smell of the ocean
The saltiness dancing in the early morning air.
If I could bottle the scent of summer
It would be the smell of sunscreen tinged with sand,
A gritty coconut aroma.
If I could bottle the scent of summer
It would be the tantalising smell of pizza
With a whiff of a side of fries.
If I could bottle the scent of summer
It would be smores and ice cream
With a lingering hint of BBQ long since devoured.
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Tagged #CoralMcCallum, #IndieAuthor, #poem, #poetryblog, #poetryisnotdead, #poetrylover, #summer, #summermemories
For three days and nights after Luna’s birth, Trine’s life hung in the balance. Caring for the baby fell largely to Jem, allowing Meryn to focus her energies on healing the new mother. The younger vampiress had lost so much blood when she had haemorrhaged post-partum. Every time that Meryn thought she had stopped the bleeding, it started again.
As soon as night fell, Jem was despatched daily to hunt for his partner. Hunting all night, he brought back flask after flask of deer blood in an effort to sustain Trine’s basic needs. The excessive hunting brought on a thirst within him which in turn resulted in yet more hunting. By the third night, he was struggling to find any deer. He suspected that word had spread and that they were hiding from him. In desperation, Jem risked killing a horse that was in one of the fields to the south of the hut. Killing the animal didn’t sit well with him but he was exhausted and knew he only had the strength for one kill.
“Equine blood?” commented his mother, sniffing the flask. “You took a huge risk for this, son.”
“I was careful. Made it look like an accident. Even spilled some into the earth so it looks like the poor creature bled out naturally in its field,” he replied, running his hands through his hair.
“You’ve done well. I’m proud of you,” she complimented warmly. “Rest. I’ve settled the baby. I’ll sit with Trine tonight.”
“What if she wakes up?”
“I’ll fetch you straight away,” promised his mother.
With a weary nod, he acquiesced and headed back upstairs to bed.
As the sun rose over the river to the east, Jem felt a hand on his bare shoulder.
“She’s awake,” Meryn announced, her relief evident in her voice. “And she’s asking for you.”
“Awake?” echoed Jem, eyes wide in disbelief and all thoughts of rest gone.
Meryn nodded, “Come and see for yourself.”
Without stopping to grab a shirt, Jem pulled on his jeans and hurried downstairs. His heart was pounding as he entered the small room.
“Hi,” said Trine weakly. She was propped up on a pile of pillows, with Luna nestled on the bed beside her.
“Hi, yourself,” replied Jem with a grin as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed. “How are you feeling? You ok?”
“I will be,” she assured him then gazing down at their daughter said, “Isn’t she beautiful?”
“She’s perfect,” he agreed. “Fine set of lungs on her too. She’s not always this quiet.”
With a soft cough, Meryn interrupted them, “Trine and I were talking before I fetched you. She needs more blood.” The older woman paused, “Human blood.”
“I was worried you were going to say that,” sighed Jem.
“She’s not strong enough to hunt for herself,” continued Meryn.
“Wait!” interrupted Jem sharply. “I’ve not taken a human life in years. I make do with animal blood. I don’t know….”
“You have no choice here!” snapped his mother. “This girl, your mate, needs human blood. The best quality blood you can find for her. Not old, weak, watery blood. Young, athletic blood.”
“And how do you propose I do that, mother?” he challenged.
“What about the people who walk and run in the hills?” suggested Trine. “Don’t some of them camp alone outdoors?”
“They do,” conceded Jem. “But I’d need to take you to them. I can’t exactly kidnap a trail runner or a hillwalker and bring them here!”
“True,” admitted his mother. “Is there nowhere close to here? Travel is risky when Trine is still so weak.”
“Killing locally carries too much of a risk,” he countered. “We can’t jeopardise our home. We have Luna to think about here too.”
“Could you transport me to a suitable camping spot?” asked Trine. “I need to make the kill myself.”
“My dear, you’re weak as a kitten. That would be a substantial risk to take,” observed Meryn.
“I know a possible spot,” revealed Jem reluctantly. “I’ve camped there myself in the past. If I transport Trine there, I’ll stay close by to help in case anything goes wrong. Between us, we can do this.”
“I’m not so sure,” began Meryn.
“Mother, make your mind up!” snapped Jem failing to hide his frustration. “It’s the safest way to get human blood without drawing attention to ourselves here.”
“Meryn, we’ll be fine,” added Trine. “Jem won’t let anything happen to me.”
“Fine. It needs to be tonight,” stated Meryn. “I’ll take care of Luna until you come back.”
Shortly after midnight, Jem touched down near a stream about a hundred miles north of the beach hut. He unfurled his wings then quickly scooped Trine up into his arms before she crumpled at his feet. As they had set off, she had barely had the strength to stand. Off to their right, as he had hoped, there was a small blue tent. Scanning the immediate area, he confirmed that it was the only sign of human life for a few miles. He pointed it out to Trine, and she nodded. Treading silently, Jem carried her across the tufts of grass and heather until they were beside the tent.
“Ready?” he whispered as he set her down on her feet. “I’ll unzip the front of the tent. The rest is up to you.”
“I can do this myself,” she stated firmly, a determined look on her face.
“There should only be one person in such a small tent. If there’s a second, signal and I’ll join you.”
“But you don’t….”
“If there’s two, you’ll need me to.”
Reluctantly, Trine nodded. Kneeling on the damp grass, she silently unzipped the opening of the tent. One look inside told her that there were two sleeping occupants inside. She signalled to Jem who nodded that he had understood.
“Take the one on the left,” he whispered. “I’ll pull the one on the right outside. There’s not space for both of us in there.”
Trine nodded.
The next minute or so was a blur. With superhuman speed, Trine entered the tent in the same moment that Jem whipped the second sleeping occupant outside. As soon as the person’s head was out of the tent, he bit into their neck deeply, not caring if the person was male or female. The first taste of human blood was enough to spur him on to drink thirstily. Inside the tent, Trine was feeding on the other unsuspecting occupant. Neither of the sleeping hillwalkers had had time to utter a sound.
“We need to dispose of the bodies,” said Trine when she crawled out of the tent a few moments later.
“Let me put this guy back in,” said Jem. “Then I’ll find their camping stove.”
“Why?”
“We need to burn the bodies. It’s safer that way,” stated Jem, trying to detach himself from the revulsion he was already feeling. “I’ll light the stove. Let the flame touch the sleeping bags and then it will all take care of itself.”
Flames were licking at the sides of the tent as Jem wrapped his wings around Trine to transport them both home. Focusing on the journey, he tried to quell the burning thirst that was raging deep inside his core. A thirst he knew he needed to resist.
We each set out together
Choosing a different path through the trees.
At points our paths converged briefly
Then peeled away
Taking each of us a different route through the trees
Sunlight warmed us
The leaves provided shade
The trees themselves gave us warmth and wisdom
We each navigated our way through the forest
Hearing our own messages as we travelled
Before each arriving at the end of the trail
In our own time.
Mirroring a journey through grief and healing.
(image sourced via Google- credits to the owner)
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Tagged #CoralMcCallum, #grief, #healing, #IndieAuthor, #poem, #poertyblog, #poet, #poetry
At the end of Rehoboth Avenue, at the turning circle, there’s a bandstand. I think I’ve mentioned it in the Silver Lake series but I’ve never used it in a scene (yet).
Early in the first book, Stronger Within, I created a fictitious rock festival called Surfside, based on Surfside Park at the north end of the boardwalk. Having visited the park during my trip, its tiny and if such an event were to exist its more likely it would be in one of the larger parks or at the bandstand itself.
During the summer months, there are free concerts at the bandstand on Friday, Saturday and Sunday evenings at 8pm for around an hour or so.
The first one I went to was one of the US Army Concert Bands. It was fun and reminded me of going to see Boy Child’s school band concerts back in the days when he still played the trumpet.
The second one was a classic rock band from New Jersey. They were great!
The third one was a Jimmy Buffett tribute band. They were fun.
On 4th July, there was a special concert for the Independence Day celebrations. It was a US Navy Jazz Band. I stopped to listen for a few minutes but decided to pass…not my taste this time.
The final one that I managed to attend was on my last night in town, 5th July and was a Southern Rock/Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band called High Noon. I wasn’t missing that one! So, having bought myself an ice cream, I grabbed a seat. I had arrived later than I originally intended so was about four rows from the front. I ended up sitting beside a nice retired gentlemen who had seen the original Lynyrd Skynyrd line up in 1976 or thereabouts. He was excited to see High Noon and commented that he’d been four rows from the front the night he saw the real deal all those years ago.
High Noon were great! They played a mix of Lynyrd Skynyrd, the Allman Brothers, the Marshall Tucker Band and 38 Special. I was in seventh heaven!
The time was flying by way too fast.
Third song from the end of their set, High Noon introduced one that they said was pretty special. Half the crowd was calling out for Freebird but were told “not yet”.
Much to my amazement and delight, they began to play Simple Man.
Simple Man – High Noon @ Rehoboth Beach DE 05/07/24 (youtube.com)
Now, if you’ve read my Silver Lake books, you’ll already understand just how special that song is to me.
If you’ve not, I’ll briefly explain. Simple Man is Lori’s favourite song for Jake to play live for her at their family get togethers and it is woven into all five books, especially the last one, Long Shadows.
Never in a million years did I expect to be at a rock show in Rehoboth Beach listening to a band playing Simple Man live. I was completely emotionally overwhelmed. As I sang along with the chorus, my emotions were flowing down my cheeks.
It was simply the most perfect musical memory to bring home with me.
All I can say to High Noon is “thank you for making my last night at the beach so special.”
And yes, I went to their merch stall and bought a tee 😉
If you’ve missed the Silver Lake series, you’ll find it available worldwide via Amazon
Amazon.com links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RR1FGLG
Amazon.co.uk links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08RR1FGLG
To continue my journey through the pages of my Silver Lake books, the first Saturday I was in Rehoboth Beach, I decided to go for a trail walk and to explore the Gordon’s Pond area. Gordon’s Pond is mentioned in the books and geographically, its situated slightly inland from the two WW II fire towers. Its part of Cape Henlopen State Park and there is an official trail there for walking and biking.
Armed with some Goldfish crackers, water and Gatorade, I set off. I took my smaller beach towel too just in case. (To be honest, I took way too much stuff with me, but I wanted to be prepared for all eventualities.)
I headed north out of Rehoboth Beach along Ocean Drive, towards the state park entrance. It was about three miles to the state park or thereabouts. There are some stunning mansions on Ocean Drive! (I may have taken photos of a few as inspiration for future “book houses”.) I was surprised to see several deer at the side of the road who barely flinched as I walked by.
When I reached the state park, I followed the road until I reached the start of the Gordon’s Pond trail. There was also a sign in the car park saying that it was also an access point to Whiskey Beach. I filed that thought away for the return journey.
The Gordon’s Pond trail itself is 3.5 miles long. I had thought that it was a lap around the pond itself. It’s not. It runs along one side of the pond and is an out-and-back trail. It’s a lovely walk with lots of dragonflies flitting about. (They are nigh on impossible to photograph) I saw a few wading birds in the pond but not as many as I’d expected to see. I overheard a man commenting that there’s usually flocks of them but that they haven’t arrived yet this year. Parts of the pond looked quite dried up too.
When I got to the end of the trail, I’d walked 7 miles. Clouds had gathered and it looked as if a storm was rolling in. It was hot and sticky.
Dilemma…. should I walk back the way I came? Should I walk back to the start of the trail then go onto Whiskey Beach and walk back from there? Or should I find a way onto the beach from where I was and walk all the way back to Rehoboth Beach on the sand?
Decisions…decisions… I decided that the shortest route was probably back along the beach.
After a few minutes I found a sign saying Navy Crossing, a surf-fishing vehicle access road, and set off down it. Quite quickly I was in deep powdery sand, so the Converse and socks had to come off.
In my bare feet, with the Converse tied onto my bag, I kept going down road to the beach. I love these beaches!
For those who don’t know, surf-fishing beaches are where the folk take their 4x4s and trucks right down onto the sand. They let out a lot of the air from their tyres to allow them to drive on the sand without sinking in. (There’s an airline at the end of the access road for pumping them back up when you leave) If you drive down onto the beach though you need to have a fishing line in the water. Folk then set up for the day with their chairs, their coolers, their flags flying high, music playing, kids and dogs playing…you can picture the scene, right?
Watching for holes in the sand where the kids had been digging, loose dogs, rogue waves and fishing lines, I set off down the beach, keeping the ocean on my left.
The trucks thinned out and I reached Herring Point, a surf beach. The surf crowd were all out too. Most of them were sitting about chatting, listening to music with their boards beside them as there weren’t that many big waves around. I stopped for a rest for a few minutes then kept going.
More trucks and fishing lines followed as I walked through another surf fishing spot but at least I could now see the two WW II fire towers. They were a welcome sight!
The main beach in front of Rehoboth’s boardwalk was crowded when I finally got there. My legs felt like jelly by this point.
When I stopped my tracker on my watch once I stepped back onto the boardwalk, it informed me I’d walked 11 miles. The last 4 of those had been barefoot on the sand. I was exhausted! If you’ve ever walked any distance in sand, you’ll get it.
It had been a great hike though and I’d happily do it another time.
Trust me, I slept well that night!
If you’ve missed the Silver Lake series, you’ll find it available worldwide via Amazon
Amazon.com links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RR1FGLG
Amazon.co.uk links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08RR1FGLG
My real-life journey through the pages of my Silver Lake series continues.
It was my birthday while I was staying in Rehoboth Beach and, after a chilled-out day on the beach, I needed to find somewhere for dinner. Initially I had just planned to grab a takeaway burger or something on the boardwalk but a message from my mum saying, “Are you having a special dinner tonight?” planted a seed.
When I wrote the Silver Lake series, especially Stronger Within, I mentioned a boardwalk sports bar called The Greene Turtle. A few years ago, The Greene Turtle was renamed and is now a bar/restaurant called Above the Dunes. So, on a whim, I headed there for dinner.
The gods were smiling on me, and I managed to secure a seat outside on the balcony. (Yes, I’d written a scene out on that balcony in one of the books too.)
Dinner (honey glazed salmon with broccoli and mashed potatoes washed down with a beer or two) was absolutely delicious.
Sitting looking out over the beach and the ocean, watching the seagulls swooping over the boardwalk was idyllic.
It was all too easy to imagine that Jake and the guys from Silver Lake were sitting at a table nearby.
If you’ve missed the Silver Lake series you can find them for sale worldwide on Amazon
Amazon.com links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08RR1FGLG
Amazon.co.uk links –
Stronger Within – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00VXDSC1M
Impossible Depths – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B01C0GS30K
Bonded Souls – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B06XSQHG71
Shattered Hearts – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B07ZY8ZSDM
Long Shadows – https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B08RR1FGLG
Coral McCallum 